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Lauren nodded. “Hey, just relax for now, Ruth. You’ve been through a lot.”

At that moment, Ruth started crying. Lauren held her again.

“Alex, go see if you can have Char set up a bed for Ruth,” Lauren said.

I nodded, even as Ruth shook her head. “No. That’s really not necessary.”

“Not here,” Lauren said. “There’s one left in one of the cabins. It’s yours. I just can’t believe you’re here.”

Ruth nodded gratefully. I left the two women to catch up as I went to find Char. When I walked into his cabin, I saw him putting on a pair of boots. Apparently, he had just woken up. Marcus’s bed was empty. I had no idea whose idea it was to put the two of them up in the same cabin, but space was a bit limited, so maybe there had been no other option.

“How’d it go?” he asked.

“Damn near got ourselves killed. That Bunker was swarming with Howlers.”

Char nodded. “Well, that was what we all expected. I told Makara and Ashton it was a bad idea.”

I nodded. “Some good came out of it. We found a survivor.”

Char’s eyebrows rose. Coupled with the burn wound on his cheek, it was a strange effect. “Really? Who?”

“A woman named Ruth. She knows Lauren and Michael. Lauren wanted a new bed set up for her.”

Char nodded. “Well, we’ve got one left. We can put her with Lauren, Michael, and their kid for now. I can see to it right after I get some food in me. Have you reported to Makara?”

I shook my head. “We just got back. Did you sleep through the landing or something?”

Char gave a small smile. “Kid, you’ve got no idea how long I’ve been without sleep.”

“Yeah, I believe it. Both you and Lauren have been working around the clock.”

“She forced me to go to bed. I’d argued, but now I see she might have been right. I feel a lot better.”

“Good. Well, I think we’re meeting in the wardroom in fifteen or so.”

“Sounds good.”

As Char left the cabin, I sat on my bunk. Bunker 108 was no longer an option, which meant we had to find Bunker 84, now — and there was no guarantee that it would save the Exodus, either. We had too many people and too little food.

As I waited for both Anna and Ruth to finish up showering, I went back to the clinic to visit Samuel. I found the clinic empty. As I took up the stool next to his bed, I watched him and suddenly felt very alone. I started thinking about the Elekai and what the Wanderer had told me. I started thinking about my eventual mission. Of everyone on our team, I felt Samuel was the one who sympathized with that burden the most — maybe because he knew what it was like to carry a burden, to be expected to do something. He believed more intently than anyone else that we had to stop the xenovirus, and that vision had guided the group to hell and beyond. It was so hard to see how we could go on without him, if he ever just…died…and never woke up.

It was all just too much, and I didn’t know how I was going to handle it — that is, if I could handle it. I had to be the one to take out Askala, the Radaskim Xenomind. Not just that, but I had to sacrifice myself. Samuel had been like a mentor to me. He’d always known what to do.

I tried to stop thinking of Samuel as already dead.

I wasn’t like Samuel. I was more used to following orders, but now, I sort of had to become the vision of the group.

A chill went down my spine. There was so much to do and too little time to do it in. For every gain we made, there were at least two setbacks. Bunker 108 was a setback. We’d found Ruth, which was great, but we couldn’t live in that Bunker. There was food, but there was so much sludge in there that it was only a matter of time until one person was infected with the xenovirus — and that was all it took. We could at least harvest the food in the Hydroponics Lab. That could keep us going another week or two.

After I showered and changed, I found Ruth and Anna waiting at the table in the wardroom. A pot of stew sat on the table. My mouth watered at the savory scent.

When I sat, we ladled the soup into bowls and ate. It didn’t take long to drain the contents of my bowl; I could have easily eaten twice to three times as much. We were rationing, and it wasn’t right for us to have all the food while the rest of the Exodus huddled for warmth and survived on half rations, so we got the same treatment. It was brutal, but it had to be done. And even with all of that, people were still dropping like flies.

Makara had ordered access to equal amounts of resources for all people, regardless of station, and this included food. She said the best way to lead was by example. Lucky for Anna and me, we’d had some food in Bunker 108 already.

Once done, we continued sitting at the table, waiting for Makara to show up. Char came to join us while Lauren stayed behind to care for patients and keep an eye on Samuel. Lauren was a hard worker and would sometimes even forget to eat because she was so occupied with her post — which was saying a lot, considering how we all battled hunger.

Makara came in from her quarters attached to the wardroom — it looked as if she had been sleeping. I didn’t blame her. Ever since the attack, she had to grab what sleep she could when the opportunity came.

She stood by the table, not taking a seat. She was quiet for a moment before speaking.

“Full status report,” Makara said.

I told her of everything that had happened in the Bunker — I even told her about shooting the Behemoth that I believed to be my father.

Once I was done, Makara sighed.

“I shouldn’t have sent you in there.”

“Well, we got some good out of it,” I said. “We found Ruth and we found a lot of food.”

On impulse, I took the walnuts out of the pack. I placed the half-filled container in the middle of the table. Instantly, Char reached for a handful, popping them in his mouth.

“That’s true,” Makara said, reaching for some walnuts herself. “How much food are we talking?”

“Enough to feed everyone for a week or two, probably.”

“That’s…very good.”

In the escape from Vegas, very little could be saved. The gangs had managed to round up some food and water trucks, but there hadn’t been time for much else. Food was our number one priority, but finding food in the Wasteland outside the major settlements was probably impossible. The entire plan came down to taking over Los Angeles, which would have plenty in storage. At least, that was the hope.

“We’ll still need to recon Bunker 84,” I said. “If that Bunker is abandoned, then it would be the perfect place to hole up. It would be tight, but it’s the only place that can fit the amount of people we have. Once situated, we can just recon to scrounge up more food and bring it back to Bunker 84.”

“What if we can’t find enough food?” Anna asked. “Not trying to be a pessimist here, but what if all these things have gone bust?”

“Then we’ll do what we have to do,” Makara said. “Attack L.A. or starve trying.”

Her words chilled me. I didn’t know how many members the Black Reapers had, but surely it was a lot more than us. Out of the Raiders, Exiles, and Vegas gangs left, we had perhaps two hundred fighters. The Reapers and the gangs in their thrall surely numbered in the hundreds, if not the thousands. Los Angeles was the biggest town in the Wasteland at about ten thousand people.

“We’ll have to go after Black himself,” Char said, his voice grating. His blue eyes blazed. “If we used the ships and surrounded his position, wherever he is, there is a chance that the gangs under his control will rebel. The thing about these gangs is, if you cut off the head the rest will probably fall.”