You understand that only you, only for yourself, only about you, and only for this all, you try from day to day, from early morning to late evening.
Others do more, faster, more spectacular, more efficient and more accurate, getting paid for it, or almost the same as you, it is much less than you. You don't deserve this. You are selfish!
And all because it happens, because every time you prove to yourself, "I can not!"and you continue to pretend that others benefit from it, and that you do not care about everything they have achieved for you and for themselves. Their children, their families - all want peace and work hard for this very much. You wouldn't understand. You don't understand, you don't know, you don't guess it, thinking, "I don't Think anybody's gonna take care of me when I'm gone..."
No one has to take care of you. You're grown! You are Alex Iies, the man, as crazy photographer, has earned the contempt and the very remorse. Obsessed with the wrong and inappropriate in normal society photographs taken by order for Walter Berrow.
Chapter sixth.
Family is a complex word that does not give rest to anyone who knows its value, and does not give any attention to indifferent people. It's a magical feeling. Someone can spit on everything, for the sake of the family; someone, on the contrary, knowing about it, does everything that contradicts all traditions and rules, being engaged in egoism and private life.
And there are those who guess about this and about the other, but does not find the strength for themselves, and doing family values (warmth, comfort, circle of relatives, a delicious dinner, friendship with everyone, and the like). By the way, there may be those who, among other things, here and there manages village feats (to feed anyone to write a plan at work to redo a lot of responsibilities). Only here are the relevant questions: "why?", "for whom it is necessary?", "why him/her and not someone else?, "what does the doer get?", "does he/she have time for personal qualities and thoughts?", "how long will it take for everything he/she is doing?"
A life where others are happy and I'm not, because I don't deserve it, because all I have is not that, not for eternity, it will disappear under the cloud. I want mine. A life where there is joy. Participation in a legitimate business, such as working in an office with a good qualification, which also needs to be earned and earned with the help of quality training. Alex Ive did not know what he could regret, who to understand and forgive, but all the people except him, all the things that lay near him, did not mean more to him than he did. It, they are only foreign objects. Just out of selfishness, out of self-belief, he had no idea what he wanted to say bad sentences about, who he thought indecent thoughts about. The guy took pictures with their energy - different, but at the same time, and not always good, gave the package with the captured negative at the discretion of Walter burrow, and he returned everything to the processing for a positive, but the emotions of photographed pedestrians and car drivers, accidentally caught in the frame, and remained on film, as if spellbound. He was not sorry for those who were trapped in evil, because his life had meaning. Why would he do such a heinous act, the response was not none, even with him.
Veronica Tence - a girl, a Alex Iyes’s dear friend, which he left, was supposed to go to his parent's house, but was afraid to do the wrong thing, waited two weeks, until I came her familiar Jack Waiton and Bengalius Cheshkerton to whom she recounted the whole history of communication with each other.
She disliked one frivolous date 01.04. every year, because people still work, but at work have time to celebrate the free three hours for two liters of tea and five packs of confetti. As if new year, only with silly jokes and actions.
I'm not celebrating. I do not celebrate either at school or at home, on the street or in transport, just because of my habit of being optimistic in my own way. I have music in the playlist, but I rarely turn it on, I don't have personal headphones because I don't have them, I don't have a laptop and a phone because they're broken by someone else. But I have me, I'll stay with himself, but for the life manage to do good to people who don't consider me special, I mean "friend".
Any word necessary to explain any action should be interpreted in the way that they will understand. And the first of April is an equal holiday for everyone, but not for me. I'm not celebrating. I don't like being a media character, not mine... she said.
- In man, in his being, there must be a distinctive feature, a spark, a feature by which it is possible to determine that he is he, she is she, and not someone else, namely he, it is she. It just has to be that way. Nothing else. Go to the person, ask who he/she is, and it becomes clear who you are, and why... added Bengalius.
- A man without memory is mad. Because memory is everything. Do you remember yourself? Remember your first birthday? Remember the very first of April? What was your first pet's name? What was your father's name? What was your mother's name? There are good parents.
- Photos will remind you of this, of course, if you have them. If you have few of them, it's not scary... Veronica replied.
- It is terrible when someone spoiled your holiday in the very first first of April, having told something unsuitable. Or someone took a picture of you from afar, standing on the balcony, when you were drinking tea, sitting at the table, in the kitchen, listening to music in the playlist and dancing to the rhythm. It is unpleasant, but there are people for whom there is nothing special in your behavior, or at all - on the contrary, there is the most interesting. Here it is, a distinctive something that you do not think about during periods of your emotions, feelings and experiences... Jack remembered.
Chapter seventh.
"- I don`t believe, I am not responsible for the actions of other people, I do not ask other people to help me, I do not demand their pity from them".
- And what does you are doing now or often, when you stay along, in the darkness and full aloneness, in the helplessness?
- I decide my problems self, myself, without the parts, without the barriers, without the false-friendship. help.
- What is it "friendship"? Even you can not to fall to the dark, knowing, what somebody will can, could help you in a hard minute. Is it true? Really?
- May be, but everything can start the unfortunate and different hardness, if you will do not something in the time, getting the other`s help and partical broken tips..."
It was our friendly e-mail messages. He is in Darlington, I am Irkutsk. He was all write, I was know-nothing in that".
"Hey, pa, look, I`m dreaming...
My dad once told something for me.
I can`t stop screaming.
"I don`t know how, but I can`t help you.
Are you can to see?
Are knew something new?"
Hey, pa, look, I`m dreaming...
I can`t stop screaming.
I should go along.
Situation was changeless,
And something happened afternoon.
I felt the egoistic stress.
When you staid the strange man,
I understood, I`m stand on the pass...
I only wanted say it to them,