Just hugs me.
Which really makes me start sobbing. “I’m never, ever telling a guy I love him again. It’s like I’m love cursed.”
He nuzzles his face into my hair and whispers soothingly, “You’re not love cursed. You just aren’t . . .”
“Just aren’t what?”
I feel his chest move deeply in and out, sighing against me. “Maybe he’s just drunk at the party. If he was hooking up, I doubt he’d stop to text you.”
“I think the hooking up is over and now he can’t find his shoes.”
“So you don’t trust him?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, when he left, did you trust him?”
“I did. He told me over and over not to worry. To trust him. That he loves me.”
“If he really loves you, he won’t cheat on you. Even if he’s drunk. You should have faith in the people you love. Maybe if you did, they wouldn’t let you down.”
I pull out of the hug and turn my back on him. “I’m going to cry alone in my room now. Thanks for your kind words,” I say sarcastically. But then I swing around madly. “So it’s my fault if he cheats?! That sounds like the kind of zen bullshit the Keats guy would tell me. I didn’t expect it from you. But I should have. It fits your whole player thing. The whole it’s-never-my-fault, take-no-responsibility-for-your-actions-because-it’s-easier-to-blame-fate, or cosmic forces, or someone else, than it is to admit that you just suck. Good night.”
He runs his hands down the sides of my arms and for reasons I don’t understand, it calms me down.
“Boots, I didn’t mean it that way. I meant that . . .” He pushes his hand through his hair, causing the ends to stick up a little. “Maybe the guy you’re with isn’t worthy of your love.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
My phone starts buzzing and buzzing.
“Who is it?” Aiden asks.
“It’s Riley,” I reply as I answer the phone. “Hey, Riley.”
“Where are you?”
“About to go in my room.”
“Cam wants to talk to you. I’ve got him on conference with me. Say hi, Cam.”
Cam says, in a voice that is almost identical to Dawson’s minus the sweetness, “Don’t be mad at him.”
“He’s texting me from a girl’s bed!”
“Yeah, a bed that he’s in alone.”
“No offense, Cam, but Riley told me about you. How you didn't think Dawson should have a girlfriend. I get it. You're a player. You want to have fun and not be tied down.”
He laughs. “Actually, I'd love to be tied down.” I hear him yell out to whoever is at the party. "Anyone got any rope? I want to be tied up."
“I said tied down.”
“Close enough,” he says with another laugh.
“It’s been great talking to you. Tell your brother when he sobers up not to bother calling me.”
“And you need to cool your panties. He didn't hook up with anyone. In fact, he sucks as a wingman now.”
“What do you mean?”
“He won't shut up about you. It’s hard to pick up girls when one of us is all panty whipped and talking about his amazingly hot girlfriend. So I did what I had to do. Got him drunk. Put him to bed.”
I let out an audible sigh and get tears of relief in my eyes. “He's really alone?”
“Yes. He’s crazy about you. I’m not gonna let him screw that up. At least not until I meet you. I gotta go. Just got a taker on the rope.”
Riley lets out a loud laugh then says to me, “You okay?”
“Do you think Cam’s telling the truth and not just covering for him?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Then, yes, I’m okay. Thanks, Riley.”
Aiden looks at me expectantly.
“His brother said he’s a bad wingman. That he kept talking about me in front of the girls. So he got him drunk and put him to bed.”
Aiden crosses his arms in front of his broad chest and stiffens up his jaw. “Well, that’s great.”
“I’m going to bed now,” I say as I climb in my window. Once inside, I stick my head back out. “Thanks for following me. Checking on me. Trying to make me feel better. I appreciate it, Aiden.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
I give him a sassy grin. “You just did. But yes. Ask away.”
“What you said today in French. Do you think true love is bullshit or do you believe in it?”
I look up at the almost full moon shining over his head and sigh. “I really want to believe in it.”
Aiden turns around and looks up at the moon. “The moon is really pretty tonight, isn’t it?” He turns back around and gives me the kind of smile that almost makes me believe it could be true. I think gods have that effect on people. They give them hope. “Don’t let my sister go crazy shopping tomorrow.”
I laugh. “I won’t.”
“Night, Boots.”
Saturday, October 1st
It does feel good.
8:30am
I’m on the train with all the girls. Ariela is funny. One minute she’s telling us how Riley drives her nuts, the next minute how crazy she is about him.
“I still can’t believe I’m dating a junior! I didn’t even date juniors when I was a freshman!”
She turns to me. “Why does Riley call you baby?”
“I don’t know. It’s like his nickname for me. He’s called me it pretty much since we met.”
“It makes me crazy. He doesn’t have a nickname for me.” Her pretty face pouts.
“He likes you a lot. It shouldn’t matter what he calls anyone else. I mean, you know his reputation, right?”
“Well sure, he’s a player. Why do you think I’m making him wait for sex?”
Maggie deadpans, “Cuz you want it to be special.” Annie says it at the exact same time, only she says it in her dreamy way.
We all laugh. Katie says, “Do you think I should do it with Dallas?”
Annie goes, “It’s way too soon.” Then she turns to Maggie and says, “Sorry, but I think it is.”
“We almost did last night.”
“You did?” Annie screeches. “Why?”
“Cuz it feels good,” Maggie replies.
Annie looks at her like she’s crazy.
Peyton high fives Maggie and says, “It does feel good.”
Maggie, Peyton, and Ariela go on to discuss which sexual positions are their favorites while Annie is shaking her head. I’m laughing at them when I get a text from Dawson.
Dawson: I don’t even know what to say. I’m being a chicken and texting you. I’m sorry. I swore to you that I wouldn’t cheat and then . . .
My heart is back in my throat again. Did Cam lie to me? Is Dawson confessing?
Me: And then . . . what?
Dawson: I read what I texted you last night.
Me: You were drunk and in a girl’s bed. I cried.
Dawson: I’m so sorry, Keatie. I don’t even remember what happened.
Me: Somehow that doesn’t make me feel better.
Dawson: Are we broke up? I looked at facebook and you didn’t change your status.
Me: You must remember something. Flirting. Kissing. That’s usually how it starts.
Dawson: But I don’t. I didn’t kiss anyone. And I was telling them all about you. About how amazing you are.
Me: Is that a Johnson brother rule? If you don’t remember it, it didn’t happen.
Dawson: I don’t know what happened.
Me: But you think you did something? Why do you think that?
Dawson: My texts last night. And I just woke up. In a girl’s bed.
Me: You alone in that bed?
Dawson: Yes.
Me: Have you talked to your brother yet?
Dawson: No.
Me: I talked to him last night.