“She was wonderful.”
Neither of us spoke for a moment. Then I said: “We’ve got to try to forget the past.”
“It’s not easy.”
She smiled in an attempt at brightness. “You must come and see Rags and Tatters while you’re here.”
“I’d like to.”
“It’s playing to full houses at the moment. But Lottie is not …”
“No. No one could be.”
“I could get a good seat for you the night after tomorrow. Dolly would see to that.”
I hesitated. It would be an excuse to stay on and there was only one reason why I wanted to return to Leverson, and that was to see Roderick, whom I realized I was missing more than I had thought I would.
I said quickly: “That would be very nice, Lisa. I’ll look forward to seeing you.”
“That’s fixed, then. The night after tomorrow.”
Roderick arrived in London. I was preparing to go out, in a somewhat listless fashion, when there was a tap on my door.
I called: “Come in.” And there was Roderick.
My pleasure must have been obvious. He seized my hands, laughing.
“I thought I’d look you up,” he said. “It’s a long time since I saw you.”
“Three days,” I said.
“It seemed longer. When are you coming back?”
“I … I’m not sure.”
“I thought you had just come up for a meeting with the solicitor. Surely you have had that by now? I thought I would come and see what was delaying you.”
“Oh, Roderick, how nice you are!”
“I’m only being truthful. We missed you.”
We? I thought. Lady Constance?
“Roderick,” I said. “You must see that I can’t go on encroaching on your family’s hospitality.”
“What nonsense! My father would be most put out if he heard you say that.”
“And your mother?”
“Oh, she’ll come round in time.”
I sighed. I could not believe that. At the same time, I was pleased that he wanted my return so much that he brushed it aside. I should have liked to talk to him seriously about my position, but that was too delicate a matter to be lightly discussed.
“How did the meeting go? Fruitfully, I hope.”
“As expected. I have enough to live … quite humbly …so that gives me time to decide what I shall do without making rash decisions.”
He looked pensive, and I thought he was going to say something, but he seemed to change his mind. After a pause, he said: “What else have you done?”
“Do you remember Lisa Fennell?”
“Of course. She was the understudy.”
“That’s right. I’ve seen her. She is still at the house. Robert said she could stay until she found somewhere to live. She is in something called Rags and Tatters. I am going to see it tonight.”
“By yourself?”
“That won’t matter. I shall know people in the company. Dolly will be there, of course. He’ll bring me home.”
“I think you should have an escort. I shall come with you.”
“Oh? Would you like that?”
“Nothing better. I shall go right away to see about the seats.”
I was feeling happier.
“That won’t be necessary. Lisa’s in the chorus. She said something about seats. I must let her know there will be two of us.”
“It is going to be a very interesting evening,” he said.
It was wonderful to be with him. We lunched near Hyde Park and afterwards went for a walk there and sat by the Serpentine. During that time he persuaded me to go back with him the next day. I have to admit I needed little persuasion. My visit to London had shown me that there was nothing there for me but poignant memories from which I could not escape.
Moreover, I was facing my true feelings for Roderick. In his company I was happier than I thought it possible to be after losing my mother, and I was beginning to think that he was the only one who could give me compensation for what I had lost.
During that day in Hyde Park, I was almost happy.
Lisa had told Dolly that I proposed to come to see the show with a friend, and he had arranged seats in the stalls. I knew it would be an emotional experience, going to the theatre where my mother had last performed, and I steeled myself for it.
When the curtain rose, I quickly identified Lisa. I watched her closely. She was outstanding. She sang the songs with special verve and danced abandonedly. I was not surprised that Dolly had chosen her to understudy Lottie Langdon. Lottie herself was a very professional performer, but she lacked the charisma which had been so much a part of my mother’s personality.
The play was a trivial piece, but no more so than Countess Maud, yet it lacked flair, which meant that it lacked Desiree.
Dolly came to us in the interval. He wanted to know how I was getting on, and looked at me with such tenderness that I felt a rush of emotion.
“If there is anything you want, you know …”
“Oh, Dolly,” I said. “I know.”
“That’s the spirit. What do you think of the show?”
Roderick joined me in saying that it was most enjoyable.
“Not bad,” said Dolly. “If only …” He sighed sadly.
“How’s Lisa Fennell getting on?” I asked him.
“Not bad,” he said again. “Not bad at all. She’s enthusiastic, I’ll say that for her … and that’s half the battle. She’s no Desiree, of course, but then, who ever would be?”
We were silent for a moment, thinking of her.
“I’d like to see Lisa after the show,” I said.
“Go along to her dressing room. You’ll see her there. It’s the second of the chorus rooms. You know the way.”
“I know it well.”
“Are you going to be long in London?”
“No,” answered Roderick. “We are going back tomorrow.”
“Charlie well?”
“Yes. He’s on the Continent at the moment. He’ll probably be away for some weeks.”
“Well, I must leave you. Bound to be some drama backstage. Never knew a show without them. I’ll be seeing you again soon, Noelle. You know there’ll be a seat for you at any of my shows.”
“Thank you, Dolly.”
He kissed me and left us; and after the show was over we went to the chorus dressing room and found Lisa.
She was delighted to see us.
“You must come out and have supper with us,” said Roderick.
Her face lit up with pleasure. “That would be wonderful! Can you give me a few minutes to change?”
While we waited for her, we talked to the doorman, who was overjoyed to see me.
“It seems a long time since you used to come here,” he said to me. “Things don’t seem the same. Desiree was wonderful. Always a cheery word and a smile. It’s not the same without her.”
I thought: There is everything and everyone here to remind me.
Lisa was animated at supper that night. She was so excited about her career, which was progressing well.
“Of course, I am only in the chorus,” she explained. “But that’s going to change. The fact that Dolly has made me understudy to Lottie shows it. What I’m waiting for is the chance to show them what I can do.”
I could not help thinking of her chance which had come through my mother’s illness … that slight indisposition which had resulted in her death.
“The opportunity will come one day,” said Roderick. “The great thing in life is to be ready for it when it does.”
“I know that’s true. I shall be ready. I’d love to be in something better than Rags and Tatters. “
“You will,” prophesied Roderick.
She was smiling at him. “Now tell me about yourself and that wonderful place where the Romans were.”