“But you could not forget me?”
“No, Roderick, I couldn’t … and I never shall.”
“We must do something.”
“What?”
“I shall ask Lisa to release me.”
“You married her out of pity. Can you leave her now?”
“She must understand.”
“Roderick, I don’t think you can ask her.”
“She should be made comfortable for the rest of her life.”
“She wouldn’t do it. She wants you with her.”
“But I am rarely with her now. I keep away as much as I can. Before I came up here, I was planning to go to Scotland. At least I should be away for a time.”
“How long would you stay there?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I just have to get away from Leverson now and then. That is what I planned to do. A cousin runs the estate up there. He is in some difficulties. I thought I would go up there to help sort things out. It was an excuse. I had to get away. You cannot imagine what it is like.”
“I think I can.”
“My mother dislikes Lisa, and makes no secret of it. I think they hate each other. She is convinced that Lisa is an opportunist and schemed to marry me. She knows, of course, that your mother helped her and Lisa acted as her understudy. She thinks she brings disaster, and there is something evil about her. I can tell you, ours is a household of despair. Sometimes I feel the urge to get away, which was what I was planning to do. Now this has come to light, I felt there must be something we can do.”
“She will not let you go, Roderick.”
“I shall talk to her … and to my parents. I will tell her that there is a way out. If only she will let me go. We can divorce. Lisa must see it is best for us all. She can’t be happy. In fact, I know she is not. She will see that this is the best way.”
I was not sure.
We sat talking for a long time. We could not help looking to a future which would be ours. There would be difficulties to overcome but we would overcome them.
So we sat and planned. We thrust aside our uncertainties. We needed some comfort, and talking gave that to us. We made ourselves see a future which we had believed was lost to us forever.
It was impossible to keep Roderick’s return a secret from Marie-Christine. She had heard that Mr. Claverham had visited us …young Mr. Claverham … and she was waiting for me on my return.
She pounced on me. “You look different,” she cried. “Something’s happened. What? What? Roderick! He’s back.”
“Yes,” I said. “He came here.”
“Where is he?”
“He’s gone.”
“Gone? But why? What did he say? He knows he is not your brother now. Isn’t it wonderful? Meningarth and all that. If / hadn’t found the letters …”
“Yes, you were wonderful, Marie-Christine,” I said.
“Well, what is going to happen now?”
“He is married, Marie-Christine.”
“Well, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“You do. I can see you do. Tell me. I have been in this, haven’t I? / found the letters.”
“You did. And you have been a good friend to me. But you know that we cannot marry now. He is married to Lisa.”
“The one who fell down in front of your mother’s carriage?”
“Yes.”
“She stands in the way. Well, what is he going to do? I can see there are plans.”
“He is going to ask her to give him his freedom.”
“You mean divorce him? Oh, Noelle, how exciting!”
“I think it will be rather distressing.”
“What a pity he did not wait until we had found the letters. Did he say he loved you and will forever? She will say yes, I suppose, and then it will all come right.”
“I don’t know, Marie-Christine. I don’t think it will be as easy as that.”
I thought about it over the days which followed. In fact, I thought of little else.
It was then that Roderick returned. I could not guess in those first moments what he had to tell, but I was all impatience to hear.
“She was deeply shocked when I explained everything to her,” he said. “She was lying on her bed, as she often does, in a certain amount of discomfort. I told her how sorry I was. I explained about us and how it had always been and always would be. She knew of course, and that at the time when I had asked her to marry me, I had thought marriage was impossible between us two. I told her about the discovery and who your father was, and how you had proof of this.
“She said: ‘So now you could marry Noelle if you were not already married to me.’ I told her that if she would release me, she would never have to worry about the future again. She should be well looked after. She could have the best possible nursing. She should have complete comfort and lack nothing. She smiled very sadly then and said: ‘Except you.’ I said perhaps we could all be friends. It could all be easily managed. The formalities could be taken care of. There would be nothing for her to worry about. She listened, and closed her eyes, as though she were in pain.
“After a while she said: ‘You have taken me by surprise. I have to think. I need time. Please give me time. You are going to Scotland. Go there … and when you come back I will give you an answer. I shall know then whether I can go through with what you suggest.”
“So she has not refused.”
“No. I realize this was a shock to her. It is natural, I suppose, that she cannot bring herself to decide at once. So it is a matter of waiting. We have to have Lisa’s agreement. If we do, it can be done without too much difficulty. I feel sure she will see it is the best way for us all.”
“Roderick, you seem so sure.”
“I am. Lisa is fond of you. She used to talk of you, always with affection. Many times she has said she will never forget what your mother did for her. She knows she is never going to walk properly again. She knows that she can only get worse. Our marriage has never been a real one. I am sure she will see that there is only one thing for her to do. She won’t stand in. our way. She is not the evil woman my mother makes her out to be.”
“And your parents … do they know of this?”
“I have told them. My father thinks it is a solution. All we need is for Lisa to agree.”
“And your mother?”
“She is very pleased. You know, when you and I thought we were going to marry, we had her approval … in spite of her original attitude towards you. I was amazed, and so was my father. But she had such respect for you. She was eager to welcome you into the family.”
“You seem full of hope.”
“I must be. Anything else would be unendurable … particularly now that we know it need never have happened.”
“Then all we can do is wait.”
He took my hand and kissed it.
“It is going to be all right, Noelle. I know it. It has to be,” he said.
I could think of nothing but what was happening at Leverson Manor. Roderick would have left for Scotland. Lisa would be grappling with herself, wondering whether she could do what Roderick asked of her. Lady Constance would be hoping to be rid of her son’s wife, whom she hated for a number of reasons. She would perhaps be thinking of me and the time when we were together in Neptune’s temple. If Lisa agreed to what Roderick asked, if the divorce could be discreetly arranged, we could settle down to a new life.
To my amazement, I received a letter from Lisa.
My dear Noelle [she wrote],
/ do want to see you. I want to talk to you. Roderick has told me everything. It came as a shock to learn that you are not Charlie’s daughter and have proof of this, and that there was no impediment to your marriage with Roderick.