“We have to see it from her point of view,” I said, surprising myself, when I remembered the waves of hatred which had come over me when she had confessed that she was responsible for my mother’s death. I understood so well her obsession with her career. Had I not had an example with my mother? She had thought she could pick something out of the ruins and be happy. And then … this. I believed she would never relinquish what she had salvaged.
“I must go,” I said. “It will be best for everyone.”
“Where will you go, Noelle?” asked Charlie.
“Back to London … for a while. I shall see what I can do. I have Marie-Christine. We will try to do something together.”
“I can’t give up hope,” said Roderick.
“Nor I,” added Lady Constance.
That night Marie-Christine came to my room.
She said: “Why is there all this gloom?”
“We are going back to London.”
“When?”
“On Monday. We can’t go tomorrow because the trains don’t run on Sundays, otherwise …”
“Go back to London! In such a hurry and all! I can’t. Jack is going to show me how to clean some pottery.”
“Marie-Christine, we have to go.”
“Why?”
“Never mind why. We have to go.”
“When are we coming back?”
“I think we shall not come back.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know something is going on.”
“You mean about you and Roderick and Lisa?”
“Lisa is going to stay here.”
“Stay married to Roderick?”
“You are too young to understand these things.”
“You know nothing maddens me more than to be told that. Particularly when I understand perfectly.”
“But it is true, Marie-Christine. Lisa is Roderick’s wife and marriage is binding.”
“Not always. Some people part.”
“Well, in this case, Lisa is going to stay, and Roderick with her. That means that we must go away. There is no place for us here.”
“It can’t be! You are going to marry Roderick. We’re going to live here. That is what we want.”
“People don’t always get what they want, Marie-Christine.”
“I can’t bear to go away. I love it here. I love Jack and Fiona … and it’s so exciting. I love the Roman things. I want to learn about them. It has been wonderful. I don’t want to go away, Noelle.”
“I am sorry, Marie-Christine. It isn’t going to work out. It may well be that Lisa is going to be cured. She and Roderick are married.”
Marie-Christine’s face was distorted with misery.
“It mustn’t happen,” she said vehemently. “It can’t. There must be a way to make it come right.”
“We can’t always make things go the way we want them to in life. That’s what you learn as you get older.”
“I don’t believe it. We’ve got to do something.”
Poor Marie-Christine! She had a great deal to learn.
It was afternoon, just after luncheon—a gloomy meal. I was ready to leave the next day, and Marie-Christine and I were preparing to visit Fiona and Jack to tell them of our imminent departure.
I was in my room, putting on my riding jacket, when Lady Constance came in.
She looked bewildered and distraught.
“A terrible thing has happened,” she said. “Lisa is dead.”
The Verdict
The days that followed had taken on a certain unreality. There were comings and goings, whispering voices everywhere. Dr. Doughty had no doubt what had killed her. It was an overdose of the pills which he had prescribed. He had frequently cautioned Lisa as to the strength of those pills. She had needed such an antidote because the pain she had suffered could be very fierce, but he had told her that she was never to take more than two at a time. She could in dire circumstances take as many as six a day—but he preferred her not to do that often—and if she did, they must be spaced out over a period of twenty-four hours.
The autopsy proved Dr. Doughty right. According to the amount of the drug found in her body, she must have taken at least six at one time—a fatal dose.
We were a silent household. The servants went about as though they were in some conspiracy. How much did they know? I wondered. They would be aware that I had once been engaged to Roderick and that I had gone away suddenly, the engagement broken off. Did they know that Roderick had asked for his freedom so that he might marry me? Did they know that Lisa had refused to give it?
Had anyone asked the question: had Lisa been murdered? When there was sudden death which might be murder, people looked for a motive.
Without doubt the motive was there. Roderick wanted to be rid of his wife. It was one of the commonest motives for murder. He had been in the house at the time of Lisa’s death. So had I. And I was as deeply involved as he was.
Those were nightmare days with endless possibilities. I could only try to shut out the terrible thoughts which kept chasing themselves round and round in my mind.
I could not leave the house now. I had been there at the time of Lisa’s death and should have to attend the inquest. I don’t know how I lived through that waiting period. I dreaded the inevitable inquest, while I longed for it to be over that I might know the worst. I remembered what had followed my mother’s death. There would be no peace until it was over … and what would the verdict be?
Marie-Christine had become very aloof. I could not read her thoughts. Lady Constance shut herself in her room and did not want to talk to anyone. Charlie seemed bewildered. I think Roderick felt as I did. We wanted to be alone together, to talk of what was uppermost in our minds. But we were restrained. I sensed that we were being closely watched.
One day the impulse came to me to ride out. I felt I could get everything into a better perspective away from the house.
Roderick must have seen me leave and followed me.
I was sure he was as eager to get away from the house as I was.
I was about a mile away from the house when he caught up with me.
“Noelle,” he said. “We have to talk. We’ve got to say what’s in our minds. How did it happen?”
“She must have taken it herself.”
“But she thought she was going to get better.”
“I know, but she was not happy.”
“You don’t think that I … ?”
“Roderick! Oh … no, no!”
“I had asked her to release me and she had refused.”
“I know we wanted it to happen, Roderick. But not that way.”
“If it were known … it would seem …”
“It is true that we wanted her to give you your freedom so that we could marry and be together, but not like that.”
“What is most important to me is that you do not for a moment think that I …”
“I would never believe that. Remember, I wanted this as much as you did. I could have been in her room. You wouldn’t think that I . ?”
“Never.”
“We know each other too well, and that we could never be happy with that between us.”
“That is what I think. But the doubt …”
“There is no doubt.”
“That is what I had to know.”
“Then … whatever happens … that can never be between us.”
I sat in the courtroom with Roderick and Charlie; and Lady Constance and Marie-Christine were on either side of me.
The first witnesses were the experts and a great many questions were asked of them. The analyst explained that there was no doubt that Mrs. Lisa Claverham had died through a massive overdose of the pills prescribed by her doctor.
Dr. Doughty himself gave evidence in detail. He explained that Mrs. Claverham had injured her spine before she came under his care. He gave details of the injury in medical terms and added that it was of a nature to give the sufferer a great deal of pain. For this reason he had provided a powerful painkiller, and had frequently stressed the point that great caution should be taken.