Nora shook her head as she steered me off the sidewalk, out of the flow of pedestrian traffic. “I haven’t set up a New Zealand bank account because I’m leaving for home first thing in the morning.”
“What?” I stared at her, confused at what she was saying, refusing to believe what I was hearing. “You’re leaving?”
Her face was taut, white brackets around her mouth. She nodded sharply. “I have what I came for. Now that the dust has settled and all legal matters are in order, it’s time that I moved on.”
“Move on?” I echoed, a flare of panic rising. “I don’t understand—”
“Of course, you don’t, my dear,” Nora interrupted firmly. “I’m sure this all comes as a surprise. But I’ve never made you any promises that I’m staying on here. I have a life in Scotland. The plan was never to settle in New Zealand and I always intended to return as soon as your life was back in order. Given that the last step in the process was settling the will, and you turned eighteen a few days ago, you’re now a legal adult able to make your own decisions. You don’t need me anymore. My time here has, therefore, come to an end.”
My mouth dropped. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. There had been no warning of her intentions, no communication that she was leaving. “No!” I burst out. “You can’t leave! We’re family! It’s just you and me now—I need you!”
“No, Brydie,” she said firmly. “That’s not happening. I’ve already set the wheels in motion. You now have financial support and a place to stay. You’ve completed your finals, and I’m sure with your student record, that you’ll achieve university entrance. The world is yours—you have the freedom to be whoever you want to be. Besides, Scotland is my home, and I’m desperate to return. Now that I have my share of the inheritance, I’ll be on my way.”
I looked around wildly, oblivious of the curious faces as people walked past us on the street. One thought reverberated over and over in my head—had she only come here for the inheritance? Surely not. No one could be so callous.
Then, a spark of hope flared. “It’s okay,” I said quickly. “I understand you can’t live here. I’ll just come back to Scotland with you—I don’t have to stay here.”
Nora’s face tensed, her brows drawing together in a taut line. “No, Brydie, you’re not listening. That is not an option! I do not need you in my life. Your place is here—in New Zealand.”
The words were physical blows. Speechless, I stood there, my heart squeezing in a vice.
But Nora wasn’t finished. “I didn’t want to get into this with you, out of respect for your mother, but with the death of my son, we have nothing in common. I appreciate we share the same name, but we are of a different ilk, my dear. I spent years building up the MacKay family name. It’s grounded on pure Scottish blood and good, clean, family lines. When Andrew married your mother, it put all that in jeopardy. She’s the daughter of an orphan—if that got out, it would ruin me! The only saving grace is that they settled here in New Zealand, far away from prying eyes. If you came back with me, that whole scandal would blow up again. And I can’t have that, Brydie—I’ve worked too hard to lose everything now.”
The words stabbed into my heart as a riot of emotions fought for supremacy—anger, denial, hurt, and, most of all, shock. Who was this woman? She wasn’t my grandmother. She wasn’t family—she was a stranger.
My voice was lifeless. “Why did you even bother to come here after they died then?”
Nora’s face shuttered closed as she replied slowly, “Because it gave me a chance to get to know my granddaughter. I also needed to know if you had potential.”
“Potential? Potential for what,” I cried. “Clean family lines?”
“I needed to be sure. There is too much riding on it.” Nora looked away, unseeing of the people on the sidewalk. “I didn’t even know you existed until Andrew died.”
I thought I’d misheard her. “That’s absurd!”
She looked up, her gray eyes so like mine. I was oblivious of the tension around the side of her mouth, too blinded by the fact that my carefully constructed world was crumbling.
“It’s complicated. There’s more going on than you understand.”
“Make me understand!” I shouted, frantically waving my arms.
“I can’t.”
I stepped backward as if she’d physically struck me, my heart breaking at the finality of her words.
“Now that Andrew and Cynthia are dead, we have no ties,” she continued firmly. “And now that you are of age, I have done any duty owed, and it’s time for me to leave.” She stepped close; her eyes narrowed intently on my face as she said slowly and succinctly with a finality that held no argument, “Do not follow me to Scotland. There is no place for you there. No one knows of your existence, either, for I went to great pains to hide it.”
She paused, and her gray eyes seared into mine. “Make no mistake, for if I catch wind that you have left the country, I will revoke every last penny you have received today.”
I felt crushed—as if she’d physically punched me in the stomach. The last vestiges of hope I’d been holding on to crumbled in to dust. The message was clear—I was already dead to her.
As the silence stretched, she leaned forward even closer. “This isn’t a punishment, Brydie,” Nora said softly. “You have a choice, far more than I ever had. It is a gift, for you have the freedom to live your life however you choose.”
My eyes burned as I stared into hers, but I couldn’t speak, my heart was splintering.
She leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on my cheek, and whispered, “Goodbye, Brydie.”
I didn’t see her as she turned and merged with the crowd. Didn’t catch a glimpse of the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. Immobile, I simply stood there, my gaze unblinking. All I could think about was the fact that I was once again all alone—orphaned, just like my mom.
I don’t know how long I stood there, rooted in place, but eventually, I wandered aimlessly. Lost and alone. When dusk finally graced the horizon, I’d convinced myself that Nora was scared, that she’d done this to protect me. That maybe she thought she was too old to look after me, or that I really didn’t want to leave New Zealand at all. I was determined to try again, to make her see that I wanted to return to Scotland with her.