But it was Alyce’s face that haunted me. Stealing into her thoughts felt like a betrayal of our friendship. Had she known I was there? Would she hate me for it later? I’d found out shocking things that I did need to know … but at what cost? Would I ever be able to tell her the truth, or was I now the one destined to lie about secrets?
Worry was a fish hook yanking me backwards, and I returned to Alyce’s current body with a shock as soul smacked flesh. My breath caught. I felt stunned, unable to move, and only faintly aware of the electronic noise from aquariums bubbling around me.
Blinking, I stared into Gabe’s face — the borrowed face that had once frightened me but now comforted me with a reassuring smile. There was no curiosity in his gaze, only approval.
“You did it,” he said, with a nod of satisfaction.
But I couldn’t talk, only sag against a counter stacked with bags of fish food. I had no idea how disturbing sinking into Alyce’s memories would be, and worse yet was discovering that she carried this memory inside her yet had never told me. There had been hints, though, like when she got angry at the card I gave her on her eighth birthday. It had said, “You’re like a sister to me.” She’d ripped it up, saying that being best friends was better than sisters. She’d also said her reason for going to cemeteries was to take photographs for her Morbidity Collection. But was that really why? Or was she searching for her baby sister Samantha?
Sam.
The signature Alyce gave to her painting wasn’t a random pseudonym. But why hadn’t Alyce confided in me? She could have trusted me to keep her secret. While losing a baby wasn’t unusual, hiding the death was illegal … and suspicious. Why did Alyce’s mother do such crazy things?
Maybe because she was crazy.
And I’d left her home alone.
“I need to go back,” I told Gabe, jumping up, the half-eaten candy bar falling from my lap to the chair.
“Not yet!” He shook his head, the golden brown hair beneath his sailor’s cap falling loosely out of its ponytail.
“Alyce’s mother may need me.”
“But we’ve only just started here — there’s so much more to show you.”
“I’ve seen enough … too much.” I started for the door; my head pounding like it would burst and spill out all my emotions.
“Wait!” He moved to block me from the door, tilting his head curiously. “I don’t know what happened with your friend, but obviously it was disturbing. Your energy is in distress mode — which can be dangerous to you and your friend.”
“Leaving Alyce’s mother alone for too long is a bigger danger. I can’t believe I never guessed what Alyce was going through. I have to be the worst best friend in the world.”
“You can be the best at everything if you let me teach you more powers. That was only the beginning of what you can do.”
“The beginning and end,” I said, overwhelmed with emotions. “I’m going to tell my grandmother to switch me back so someone experienced can help Alyce. And I’ll ask her to meet you, too, Gabe. I haven’t forgotten my promise.”
I reached for the door but as my hand touched the knob, the floor seemed to rise and sway. My mind spun like I’d been racing on a roller coaster for days and my knees buckled.
Gabe caught me before I hit the ground, my head so dizzy that I hardly noticed the electricity from his touch. I opened my mouth to warn him about touching me but there was no sound, only a feeble sigh.
“I was afraid this would happen,” Gabe said as he led me over to a chair and gently sat me down.
“What?” I rasped out, sagging against the hard wood.
“You overstimulated your psyche.”
“Huh?” I rubbed my head.
“Doing too much too quickly. The energy you tapped into is still pulsing through you, and if you don’t detoxify immediately you’ll risk soul burnout.”
I sucked in a shaky breath and stared at him with incredulously. “Detoxify my soul? That sounds painful. Why didn’t you warn me there were risks?”
“There are always risks,” he said, frowning down at me. “But I can help you through this if you trust me. I may need to touch your hand so I can share some of my energy with you. Otherwise, there may be serious damage from what you’ve just experienced. I had no idea your connection would be so intense.”
His voice, with its gentle lilt and deep caring tone, touched me with a similar tingle as the feel of his hand on mine. And I calmed down instantly, my mind and body seeming to merge together in the steady beat of Alyce’s heart. I thought of her mother, miles away and sleeping safely. I’d overreacted, worrying about her when I needed to take care of this body first.
“You landed too quickly,” he continued, “bringing back the same anxiety that caused your friend’s crisis, and your body is reacting as if pumped full of toxins. That’s why you should always separate your own emotions from those of your Host Body.”
“How do I fix it?” I sucked in a deep breath, struggling for energy.
“Rise out of the physical and cleanse away the trauma.”
“Leave Alyce’s body again?” I asked uneasily.
“Not completely. Otherwise the trauma will attack your temporary body — like a virus infecting a computer.”
“You’re scaring me,” I whispered, closing my eyes and focusing on his voice. For a bad guy, he wasn’t so bad.
“Don’t worry, I can fix everything. Take this.” His strong callused fingers intertwined with my own, tingling with familiar warmth that felt friendly, not frightening. I heard the rustling paper and smelled the sweet cocoa aroma of chocolate. He pressed a square of candy against my mouth, his fingers sizzling heat as they brushed my lips.
A cool breeze of energy swept through me, and I wondered if it had more to do with Gabe than with the chocolate. He guided me like he had before, asking me to focus inwardly and gather strength. It happened quicker — the lift and pull of my soul rising, and the awareness of separating. I saw Alyce’s body slumped in a chair below me. She looked so pale and lifeless, and I had to fight the urge to sink back inside her skin.
Before I could panic, I sensed Gabe’s presence beside me. And then a euphoric blanket of warmth wrapped around me like a comforting hug. I again saw him in his true form: his blue cap newer-looking and his black ponytail hanging over his muscled shoulder. I even smelled the salty spray of sea. And his gray-green eyes found me, too.
Although I knew our bodies weren’t flesh and blood in this surreal plane, more like holographs, when I reached out, I met his steady grasp. Shared warmth heated me like lava spilling from a mountain, and I felt strangely close to this dead guy who was supposed to be my enemy. He’d gone a long distance to find me, risked his own safety, and was sharing himself in a way that went beyond casual friendship. It was hard to remember that I’d ever feared him.
Wild excitement surged through me. I found myself leaning toward him, longing for more … for a closeness that wasn’t physically possible in a human body. But we weren’t human anymore. We were two souls sharing an amazing experience, which was both freeing and terrifying.
“What’s happening to me?” I asked in thoughts.
“You’re detoxifying. I’m using my power to free you of negative energy.” I heard his answer although his mouth didn’t move, and I wondered if I was really seeing him or merely a projection he wanted me to see. It was all so confusing … but not unpleasant. It was as if we were both whiffs of wind floating peacefully on a summer breeze.
“Am I myself or Alyce?”
“You’re uniquely Amber and completely beautiful.” If he’d said this in a normal voice while in a physical body, I might have been embarrassed and worried that Gabe was hitting on me, but we were beyond all that, in our purest form.