At my own face.
2
“Hurry! Get in!”
I hesitated, but only for the micro-second it took me to glance back and see the gardener barely a leap away. Grabbing onto the door handle, I swung myself inside the Toyota (my mother’s car) and slammed the door. My rescuer punched the accelerator and we were out of there. The side mirror flashed a glimpse of the gardener as he flipped me off.
Turning slowly, I studied my rescuer. Me … yet not me. I had a good idea who was temporarily residing in my body — but still, it was a shock to come face-to-face with myself and realize that she wasn’t me. Like being trapped in a crazy dream where shards of reality swirled into kaleidoscope fragments.
First thought: No way! I can’t be both the passenger and the driver of this car.
Second thought: Why is my body wearing a dress and (horrors!) nylons?
Third thought: Is that a zit growing on my chin?
Insanity squared by Impossibility = Belief.
The last time I’d seen my real body had been a lifetime ago. Well … actually only yesterday, but it felt longer. After living other lives for a few weeks, I’d finally, happily reunited with my own less-than-perfect-but-100-percent-wonderful body. Being myself — Amber Borden — was seriously heaven. I’d hugged my parents, played with my little triplet sisters, and cuddled my cat Snowy. It was like a Hallmark Channel homecoming, complete with tears, kisses, and laughter — except that an important person was missing from the happy reunion equation.
My BFF, Alyce.
She’d refused to even speak to me — which I deserved. While I had been body-switching my way through solving problems for other people, my best friend was going through a crisis. She wouldn’t say what was wrong, only that she needed to talk. She’d begged me to come over but I’d let her down. So when Grammy Greta asked me to become my best friend (literally), how could I refuse? It was my chance to fix things with Alyce. Besides, if someone had to temporarily live my best friend’s life, who better for the job than me?
So Alyce was off taking a soul vacation, and I was residing in her body.
This left my real body minus one resident.
Guess who’d stepped up for the job?
“Grammy?” I asked uncertainly as I clicked the seat belt into place.
She nodded. “Surprise, sweetie.”
My voice. My face. My grandmother.
“Yes,” she said cheerfully. “It really is me.”
“Oh. My. God.”
“My sentiments exactly. We have a lot to be thankful for,” Grammy Greta said with a reverent glance upward. “This is an amazing opportunity for both of us.”
“Amazing. Definitely,” I said, feeling dizzy as I stared at myself. I should have expected this, especially since I’d agreed to the plan, but up close and in person it blew my mind. I could hardly believe it was happening. “You really are in my body.”
“I promise to take good care of it until you return. Our assignments shouldn’t last for more than a few days, so relax and make the best of this experience.”
“I don’t even know how to start my assignment.”
“You’ve already started.”
“I have? How?” I shook my head, even more confused. “By being chased out of a mortuary? I don’t know what’s going on with Alyce. Is there any way of contacting her? Where exactly is she?”
“You know better than to ask those sorts of questions.” Grammy’s clipped tone slammed the door on my curiosity. “There isn’t much time. I need to get you home.”
“Home would be great! I can’t wait to see everybody.” My relief was huge — mostly because I’d been dreading facing Alyce’s disagreeable mother. Mrs. Perfetti had this way of looking at me like I was a puddle of pee the cat left on her floor.
“Sorry, sweetie, but you misunderstood.”
“Can’t I go back home with you?”
Grammy shook her curly head (well, my curly head actually, but if I started getting picky about pronouns I’d go crazy). “Don’t you remember the Nine Divine Rules for Temp Lifers?” she asked.
I bit my lip, nodding.
“Then you know the first rule: Follow through on your Host Body’s obligations and plans. You’re Alyce now, not Amber. While you’re in Alyce’s body, her house is your home.”
“But what if her house sucks? She doesn’t stay there much and would rather hang at my place. Bending the rules won’t hurt anything. We could tell everyone I’m … I mean, Alyce … is sleeping over with Amber.”
“Did she make plans to sleep over tonight?”
“Um … no.”
“Well, then. You know what you have to do — the sooner the better.” Grammy glanced in the rearview mirror, furrowing her brow. “Delay could be dangerous.”
“Dangerous?” I asked uneasily, still a little out of breath from all that running.
“There are always risks.”
“You mean … Dark Lifers?” I shivered, remembering my recent encounters with dark souls who refused to stay dead and hijacked living bodies. Except for a glowing grayness around their hands, they appeared like ordinary humans … until they reached out with predatory fingers and stole your energy.
“I have no evidence for concern.” Grammy glanced over her shoulder. “Still, we must remain cautious.”
“But you’re in charge of the Temp Lifer program — you should know everything.”
“Not for this assignment. I can’t tell you much,” she added with a shrug, momentarily lifting her hands from the wheel — which spun wildly and sent the car careening toward a telephone pole.
“Grammy!” I cried, clutching my seat. “Hands on the wheel!”
“Relax. I have it completely under control.”
She grabbed the wheel and jerked back into the right lane, giving me a determined smile. I had this flashback of myself showing similar confidence when I’d gotten lost driving, exaggerating how I had everything “under control” when inside my fears flapped like birds spinning blindly in a wind tunnel.
Was Grammy nervous, too, and hiding it?
“As I was saying … ” With only one hand on the wheel, she turned back to me. “Someone else is handling my job while I’m Earthbound, so I don’t have any upside information.”
“Then how did you know I was in trouble?”
“I received a short message with a map and a voice relay.”
“What’s a voice relay?”
“Unexplainable in Earth terms, but what matters is that I’ve been warned to hurry because of possible danger.”
My heart jumped. “Danger?”
“I’m sure it’s nothing more than a routine cautionary message.” She glanced in the rearview mirror then back at me. “I haven’t seen anything unusual although I’ve had this prickly feeling, like I’m being watched. But my perceptions are clouded while I’m in a physical form. Until our assignments end, I’m human just like you.”
Her words seemed like a bad pun considering that she was speaking through my voice. She wasn’t “just like me,” she was me. And I doubted I’d ever get used to the weirdness of body-swapping.
We’d gone far enough now that Green Briar Mortuary was rapidly fading to a bad memory. We passed under a Spanish stucco archway into a subdivision where all the homes were mission-styled: stucco siding, square and rectangular, a few even rising up to bell towers. My grandmother made a sudden left, turning so sharply I banged my elbow on the door. After “ouch” and “sorry,” we didn’t say anything for blocks. I was lost in thoughts about my assignment, trying to guess why Alyce had broken into the mortuary. Was she looking for something? Hiding from someone? Checking sale prices on caskets?