We both opted not to wear green wellies, not least because we would have had to buy them first. The weather forecast for the day had improved as the weekend had progressed and the promised rain was not now due to arrive from the west until the following day, so I wore my usual slip-on black brogues while Caroline picked a pair of sensible knee-length black patent leather boots with low heels.
Having been brought up in the world of horse racing, where any physical contact between the competitors was frowned upon and where even the slightest bump between participants could result in the loss of a race in the stewards’ room, I was unprepared for the roughness, almost violence, perpetrated on the polo field.
Players were permitted to “ride off” an opponent even when he was not in possession of the ball. Riding off involved crashing one’s pony into the flank of an opponent’s mount and pushing with the knee and the elbow to change the direction of travel. The players all wore big thick kneepads for that very purpose, along with spurs, which, I was reliably informed, were not actually permitted to be dug into an opponent’s leg, although, it appeared to me, that they were.
I knew that the aim of the game was to hit the little white ball with the mallet between the goalposts to score. But that is to simplify what seemed to me to be a hybrid cross between hockey, croquet and American football, all played at high speed on horseback.
It was clearly hugely exhilarating both for the players and for the spectators. There was lots of shouting between the team members, and appeals to the umpire for some penalty or other to be awarded. I knew from my brush with the fifty-page rule book that the game would be more complicated than just riding down the field and slotting the ball between the goalposts. However, in play, it had a simplicity I had not expected, and both Caroline and I were soon caught up in the excitement on the members’ grandstand.
We had arrived at the grounds, as they were referred to, to find that there was a members’ area for those who are, and the remaining space for those who aren’t. The “members” was where I wanted to be. There was no point in being there at all unless I was able to ask my questions of those in the know.
We had hung around a bit in the members’ parking lot until a group of five others had arrived in a Range Rover. Caroline and I had simply attached ourselves to the rear of the party as they were waved through past the gateman. I decided not to push my luck by trying to bluff my way into the holy of holies, the two-story Royal Box, with its colonial-style verandas and red tile roof, together with neatly tended window boxes and a white-picket-fenced lawn in front.
Since I had no idea of what to expect, I didn’t know whether the “crowd” of just two or three hundred was considered a good turnout or not. Many of the spectators had parked their vehicles on the far side of the field and simply sat on the roofs to watch the action. A chorus of car horns rather than applause tended to greet each goal.
Fortunately, the day was fine, with even some watery sunshine helping to warm us as Caroline and I sat in the open, on green plastic seats, along with about a hundred or so others, most of whom appeared to either know or be related to the players, exchanging waves and shouts, as the teams milled around in front of us before the start.
Polo matches are divided into periods known as chukkas, each chukka lasting about seven minutes. Matches can be four, five or six chukkas long, with gaps in between. In this particular event, each match was four chukkas, with approximately a five-minute gap between each, and a little longer at halftime.
Caroline asked a middle-aged man who was sitting close to her what the score was. Now, this was not as stupid as it may have sounded, since the game can be very confusing. For a start, it was not always clear if a goal had been scored because, unlike soccer, there was no net for the ball to end up in. Second, the teams changed the direction of play after each goal, and, for a beginner’s eye, it was not always easy to decide which team was playing in which direction.
“That depends,” said the man. “Do you mean with or without handicap goals?”
“What are ‘handicap goals’?” Caroline asked him.
The man resisted the temptation to roll his eyes, not least because they were firmly fixed on the alluring crossover at the front of Caroline’s dress. “Each player is assigned a handicap at the beginning of the season,” he said. “In matches, you have to add the handicaps of each player in the team, and subtract one team’s handicap from the other’s. That gives you how many goals’ start the lower-handicapped team gets.” He smiled, but he wasn’t finished. “But, of course, in this match, which is only four chukkas, you only get two-thirds of those goals.”
“So what is the score?” asked Caroline again rather desperately.
“The Mad Dogs are beating Ocho Rios by three and a half goals to two.” He pointed to the scoreboard at the left-hand end of the field, where the score was clearly displayed in large white numbers on a blue background for all to see.
We wished we had never asked. We didn’t even know which team were the Mad Dogs and which weren’t, but it didn’t matter. We were having fun, and we giggled to prove it.
At halftime, many of those in the stands went forward to meet the players as they dismounted from and changed their ponies. There were about thirty animals tied to the pony lines alongside the field, and some players had all their spare mounts saddled and bridled, ready for quick changes during a chukka if a pony tired, the game not being stopped for such a substitution. They each appeared to have a groom or two to look after their mounts and to assist with the quick transfer of rider and equipment from one pony to another. Playing polo was clearly not a poor man’s sport.
During the halftime break, I asked our friend on the stands if he had ever come across Rolf Schumann or Gus Witney from a polo club in Wisconsin, in the United States. He thought for a bit but shook his head.
“Sorry,” he said. “But it’s unlikely. U.S. polo is somewhat different than this. They mostly play arena polo.” I must have looked somewhat quizzical as he went on. “It’s played indoors or on small board-bounded areas, like a ménage. You know, like they use for dressage.” I nodded. “They play just three players to a team, and…” He tailed off. “Well, let’s just say it’s different to what we enjoy.” He didn’t actually say that he thought it was inferior, but he meant it.
“How about someone called Pyotr Komarov?” I asked.
“Oh yes,” he said. “Everyone’s heard of Peter Komarov.”
“Peter?” I said.
“Peter, Pyotr, it’s the same thing. Pyotr is Peter in Russian.”
“How come everyone knows him?” I asked.
“I didn’t say everyone knows him. I said everyone’s heard of him,” he corrected. “He is the biggest importer of polo ponies in Britain. Probably in the world.”
“Where does he import them from?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
“Anywhere,” he said. “But mostly from South America. Flies them in by the jumbo jet full. I should think at least half the ponies here were bought from Peter Komarov.”
“Is he based in England?” I asked.
“No, I don’t think so,” he said. “I know he spends quite a lot of time here, but I think he lives in Russia. He runs a polo club over there, and apparently he’s done wonderful things for Russian polo. He’s often brought teams over to play here.”