Peter looked subdued for a moment. ‘Governments… they can move slowly sometimes. There are debates and positions to be considered and… Oh, bugger it. I don’t rightly know. But tell me again. What are you trying to prove?’
I slung the M-16 over my shoulder, where it bumped up against my knapsack. ‘Not trying to prove anything, and you know it.’
He came over to me. ‘Going to look for Miriam?’
‘Yep.’
‘You won’t find her, you know.’
‘But I might,’ I said.
‘The UN won’t like having you out here, traipsing around.’
‘Back at the hospital there’s a letter of resignation from me that no doubt is going through the proper channels. In a week or two, they’ll figure out that I’m missing. By the way, how in hell did you know I was coming out here?’
Peter smiled. ‘I didn’t. But I did spot you earlier, at the hospital parking lot, dressed up like you are, with a pretty heavy knapsack on your back. I followed you here in the same little convoy, riding with the guy pulling the bulldozer.’
‘Well, goody for you.’
‘Samuel, you know the odds are against you, and—’
‘Peter, you’re not going to change my mind, not at all,’ I said. ‘I’m going to find Miriam if it takes the rest of this month and all the way through winter. I don’t care if UN units are looking for her and the others. I don’t care if negotiations are going on. I don’t even care if the truth comes out about the bombings and the bastards who were behind them. All I know is that the woman I love is out there, scared and in danger, and I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to sit on my ass and wait for somebody else to find her. You tell me. If you’d had any proof that your Grace had still been alive, and not dumped in Site A, what would you have done?’
Peter replied without any hesitation. ‘Same thing you’re doing. No doubt about it.’
‘So there you go,’ I said.
‘That Charlie’s weapon?’
‘Yep.’
‘You know how to use it?’
‘Well enough,’ I said. ‘He gave me a little lesson this morning. Drew pictures and everything. And his buddies gave me some food, a stove, a nice bedroll, night-vision goggles, a couple of grenades and a couple hundred rounds of ammunition.’
Peter shook his head again. ‘You and a gun, all alone against—’
‘Remember Karen?’ I asked.
That seemed to startle him. ‘Karen? Of course I remember Karen. Why?’
Another helicopter roared overhead, coming in for a landing, and I waited until the noise had died down. I said, ‘A week or so ago she said that all the world’s problems were due to one thing: men with guns. She was right, you know. Most all of the world’s heartache and destruction and death are due to men with guns, not jet bombers or missiles or submarines. But she was only half right.’
‘Yeah, mate, I see where you’re going with this,’ Peter said.
‘I hope so,’ I said. ‘The thing is, the only thing that’s going to stop the men with guns is good men with guns. Trying to negotiate with the bad guys, trying to appeal to their better nature, trying to enhance their self-esteem isn’t going to work. It’s going to take good men with guns who will either overpower or destroy the bad men. Not very PC and pretty simple, but it was the best I could come up with, these past few days.’
‘Karen and others might disagree with you,’ Peter said.
Fine. And they can discuss my shortcomings all they want, but I’m going out there to start looking for Miriam.’ I started to walk past him and Peter said, ‘Wait, just one second.’
‘Why?’
He looked at me, smiled and said, ‘I’ll come along. Trust me, Samuel. I’m pretty good at what I do.’
‘I’m sure you are,’ I said. ‘But how much can you do with one arm?’
‘Plenty,’ he said.
I turned around. ‘Sorry, not good enough.’
I started into the woods, seeing an overgrown path ahead of me. Then Peter called out, ‘A week!’
‘Excuse me?’
Behind Peter the shadows along the roadway were lengthening. He said, ‘A week. The docs say in a week I’m rid of this sling. How about then?’
I thought about that for a moment or two, listening to the sound of machinery at work a little distance away, cleaning up so much debris, so much death. ‘All right. A week. If I don’t find her by then, I’ll be back here in a week to pick you up. Deal?’
‘Deal,’ Peter said. ‘My, you must love her something awful.’
‘I do,’ I said.
‘I envy you,’ he said.
I smiled and waved. ‘Peter, that’s the best thing you’ve ever said to me. Ever.’
Peter waved back. ‘OK, I’ve taken enough of your time. You go in there and find her, you bastard.’
‘I will,’ I said. ‘I will.’
So I turned and walked into the darkness, and the little eight-year-old-boy was gone. Not once was I afraid.
Not once.
Miriam, I thought. Miriam.
Biographical Notes
Brendan DuBois is the author of the Lewis Cole mysteries and numerous short stories, which have earned him a Shamus Award and three Edgar Award nominations.