“Give me a break. Go hiking.”
“I can’t leave you here alone. What if you need something?”
“I’m not a quadriplegic.” I give him a teasing look. “Look me in the eye and tell me you’d rather spend today nursing your clumsy oaf of a girlfriend.”
He laughs. “Well, okay. But the good news is, you have a big-screen TV to keep you company, and I hear that tonight the Outfitters will be playing The River Wild out on the terrace. That’s fun, right?”
“Totally,” I say, forcing myself to smile.
Angela is standing in the cabin’s foyer, in jeans and hiking boots, stuffing granola bars into her backpack. “I was just coming— Oh!” she gasps when she sees me. “Honey Bunches, you okay?”
I collapse into the nearest chair. “It’s just a little sprain. It should be fine tomorrow.”
“But, honey, we should go home, then, right?” She looks at Justin, then back at me. “I mean, this can’t be any fun for you, can it?”
“No,” I say. “All you’ve done for months is talk about this trip. And I am having a good time. Really. When you guys get back, we’ll all watch the movie together. It’ll be fun.” They’re both staring at me like I have bugs crawling out of my nose, so I say, “Where’s Hugo?”
Angela motions to the bathroom. “Remember that liter of Absolut Justin brought?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, now it’s a quarter of a liter. He’s been puking all morning. And there’s no water in that bathroom. He’ll be cleaning it up, not me.” She groans, then raises her voice: “Did you hear me, Hugo? You. Are. Cleaning. It. Up!”
“Oh.” For the first time, I hear noises coming from the downstairs bathroom. I’m kind of glad he took the Absolut off our hands, because I’m not in the mood to celebrate, and anyway, I do not need the help of anything that might further loosen my grasp on reality. “So I guess it’s just you two?”
Justin nods. “You sure you’re going to be—”
“Just go,” I command, waving them away. “Have fun.”
He gives me a peck on the top of the head, and they gather up their backpacks and head out. I smile after them until the guilt dims the brightness in my face. I sit there for a moment, massaging my ankle. It honestly doesn’t feel as bad as I might have made it out to be. And that’s a good thing. Because I have a feeling that for what I’m planning, I’m going to need it.
Chapter Fourteen
Ten minutes later, Hugo saunters out of the downstairs bathroom, scratching his backside. He looks pretty okay for someone who just spent hours worshipping at the porcelain shrine. He has a rolled-up Sports Illustrated and is whistling.
I expect to smell something disgusting coming from the open door, but I can’t make anything out. “Did you clean in there?” I ask.
He jumps sky high, like a cartoon character that has stuck its finger in an electric socket. “What the hell are you doing here?”
I don’t answer. “You can open a window, at least. And there’s some 409 under the kitchen sink.” I march over to the bathroom to inspect it, knowing it’ll be gross. I can already tell from the way Hugo threw his McDonald’s hamburger wrappers all over Monster that he isn’t the cleanest person on earth. Holding my breath, I stand in the doorway and take the quickest of peeks. Then I open my eyes wide.
It’s spotless.
I turn to him. He’s still fanning himself with the rolled-up magazine from the shock of seeing me. “What?” he says.
“You weren’t sick?”
“Yeah, I was. Of course I was. Why would I lie about that?”
“I don’t know. All I know is, this bathroom is sparkly clean, and you don’t strike me as the domestic type. Plus, you didn’t have any cleaning supplies, dirty paper towels—”
“Okay, Sherlock, you got me,” he sneers. “I just didn’t want to go on a crummy hike today. What about you? Why are you here?”
“I twisted my ankle,” I say, reaching down to massage it, though it really doesn’t hurt anymore.
“You didn’t want to go, either,” he says, collapsing on a leather couch. “Face it. You see it, too.”
I stare at him. Is it possible that Hugo, stupid, idiotic Hugo, could see some of the things I see? “See what?”
“Angela and Justin. Justin and Angela.” When my face is just as blank as before, he says, “In lurve.”
“What?” I start to laugh. Of course this wasn’t about the ghosts. But still, I know what he’s talking about. My laughter quickly dissolves. “What would make you think that?”
“You never noticed? They’re always giving each other looks.”
“Yeah, but they’re best friends. She’s not his type. Believe me,” I say, as much to convince myself as to convince him. “I mean, I can see where you would think that, because I’ve thought it, too. But really. It’s nothing.”
He shrugs.
“Really. They’ve known each other since they were three,” I say, thinking back to the time three years ago when we’d been making out in the yearbook office for the first time and Justin said, “Angela has nothing to do with this.” How many times have I repeated that to myself over the years? She’s his best friend, and that’s it.
Angela is my closest friend. She was happy when she found out Justin and I were a couple. Happy. She bounced around and giggled like she was on bath salts. “I always thought you’d make a great couple,” she said.
“Angela has nothing to do with this,” I find myself saying.
“Huh?” Hugo’s staring at me.
I grab my backpack and step over his legs, which are sprawled out on the coffee table. “I’ve got something to do.”
“Your poor, throbbing ankle all better?” he asks with a crafty grin. When I don’t reply, he gets down on his knees and raises his hands toward the heavens. “Praise God. It’s a miracle.”
I think about kicking him in the ribs, but in the end I just ignore him and walk to the door.
“Wait. Where are you go—” he begins, but by then I’ve slammed the door.
I walk on the right side of 201 until I’m directly across from the Outfitters, then cut across the highway quickly. That way, I avoid the sound of the river. If I hear those voices, I might get cold feet. And I need to do this. I need to put an end to the questions.
I know it’s completely ridiculous. I know I’m going crazy and seeing people who aren’t real. But they feel real, as real as Justin or Angela or anyone. And even though she can’t be over there, even though it’s impossible, I need to see. I need to prove to myself that all of this—Jack, Trey, my mother—is all in my head.
In the Outfitters, it’s quiet because the buses have already departed for the day. There’s a rather large older man there in red flannel and an L.L.Bean cap, reading a hunting magazine. I clear my throat. He looks up, startled. “Hi!” I say brightly. “I, um, saw an interesting graveyard on the other bank and I was wondering if there was a way I could get across to see it?”
He says yes with the first Down East Maine accent I’ve heard in a long time: “Ayuh.” Most people in southern Maine now are from away and don’t talk like that, which is a shame because I kind of like it. “You looking to rent a kayak?”
I bite my lip. “Well … if there’s any way to stay out of the water, I’d prefer that.”
All the while, his eyes are narrowed to tiny creases. Then he says, “Yeh the Ice Guhl!”
“Um, well …”
“Imagine that, the Ice Guhl wants to stay out of the riveh. What, the riveh got yeh good?” He’s all animated, suddenly. “Well, theh a footbridge ’bout sixteen miles upstream. At put-in. Yeh have to get down the logging roads. Gets hahd cause theh not mocked.”