Tailor’s brow crinkled with concern. “You’re going to get some rest, bro,” he said. “I’m going to get the doc. Don’t worry about anything. We’ll talk later. Okay?”
I didn’t respond. I just closed my eyes again.
VALENTINE
Exodus Ship Walden
Port of Mumbai, India
May 16
0700
I was alone in my little metal room, picking at my food, when Tailor came in. “How you doing, Val?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I walked all the way to the galley and got this food,” I said. “I’m mobile again, anyway.” The wound to my left calf had gone deep, but it hadn’t shattered the bone or cut anything vital. It was slowly healing.
“That’s good,” Tailor said. “I need you mobile. We’re pulling into port right now. The crew says we should be at the pier in less than an hour.”
“So?”
“So, we’re leaving,” Tailor said. “I collected your stuff for you. It’s in a bag ready to go. Hudson’s trying to find you some fresh clothes. You’re hard to fit, you big son of a bitch.” I was five inches taller than Tailor, and that always seemed to piss him off just a little.
“Where in the hell do you think you’re going to go?” I asked. Tailor’s plan sounded ill-thought-out to me.
“Val, listen. Between me and Hudson we’ve got three hundred and seventy-five grand, okay? We have plenty of money. It’s enough for all of us to find room and board for a while, get some supplies, and lay low.”
“Lay low?”
“Right, until things calm down. Then we can start thinking about going home, if it’s safe. Now come on. You gonna be ready to go? You feel okay?”
I gave Tailor a hard look for a long moment. “Tailor, I’m not going anywhere,” I said flatly.
“What are you talking about? We know for a fact that this ship is going to dock in Mumbai. We’re getting off here. We don’t know where in the hell they’re going after this. We need to go while the going’s good.”
“Tailor, I’m not running away to India. I’m not going to go hide in a dirty safe house somewhere. I’m staying right here.”
“Goddamn it, Val,” Tailor said, anger rising in his voice. “Don’t argue with me. You’re not thinking clearly right now. Trust me. Get your shit and get ready to go.”
“Trust you?” I said. “Trust you? Tailor, trusting you is how I ended up in Zubara in the first place!”
“Well, shit happens!” Tailor said, louder still. “I didn’t force you. You wanted to go just as bad as I did, and you damn well know it. Now we need to get off this boat before these Exodus nut-jobs drag us off someplace and we disappear!”
“No, goddamn it! I’m sick of your shit! These ‘nut-jobs’ have saved our lives twice now. Maybe you didn’t notice that they didn’t charge you for getting out of Zubara? They helped us even though they’re not getting anything out of it!”
“That we know of,” Tailor interjected. “You don’t know what they’re planning. You can’t trust these people. You don’t know them. You need to listen to me. We both know I’m right.”
“Listen to you? You were ready to take Gordon up on his offer!”
“What? Val, I—”
I cut Tailor off. “Shut up! If I hadn’t been ready to shoot him, you would’ve probably signed up and left the rest of us behind! I know you, man. I know you. You just can’t pass up an opportunity like that, can you? You know what the difference between you and me is? I don’t know why the hell I do it. You, you do it because you’re addicted to it. You’re a goddamned war junkie!”
“You’re about to piss me off, Val,” Tailor warned, pointing a crooked finger at me.
“I don’t give a shit!” I shouted. “Go ahead, get mad! What the fuck are you going to do? Huh? I have nothing left, Tailor! So hit me! Shoot me! I don’t care! You’d be doing me a favor!”
Tailor’s harsh expression softened just a little. “Val . . . ,” he started.
I interrupted him again, much more quietly this time. “Tailor . . . I’m just tired. I can’t do it anymore. Hell, it’s all I can do to get out of bed. I’ve spent the last three days trying to think of reasons to bother, and I keep coming up short. I’m not going.”
“I’ve already talked to the others, Val. We’re going.”
“I know. I understand. It’s okay. If you guys want to go, then go. I know how it is, man. Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.”
“I’ve gotta go get ready,” Tailor said. He turned to leave, but paused by the door. “I’ll see you around, man,” he said, and was gone.
VALENTINE
Exodus Base
Somewhere in Southeast Asia
May 20
Strange music echoed in my ears as I pushed open a heavy wooden door. I crossed the threshold and entered the room beyond, despite the suffocating sense of apprehension that squeezed my heart. Directly across from the door was an ornate four-poster bed. A painting hung on the wall above it, but I couldn’t make it out.
Slowly I turned, looking across the room I was in. It was familiar; I’d been here before. At the far end of the room a woman hung from the ceiling, her hands bound above her head. I approached her, unsure of what was compelling me onward. The apprehension was turning into dread. My skin began to crawl.
I looked up at the girl as she hung from the ceiling, motionless. Her body had been cut open, her organs removed. Black hair hung down over her eyes, and her face was shrouded in darkness. I tried as hard as I could to focus on her, but I just couldn’t make out her face.
I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was overwhelmed by fear and confusion. I knew where I was, but I couldn’t remember where that place was or why it was important. I didn’t know how I got there. I turned to leave.
Something clamped down on my arm as I turned around, and squeezed. The girl was now standing behind me, grasping my arm with her hand. She lifted her head, the dark hair moving aside. It was Sarah. Her eyes were gone.
“You said you’d stay with me.”
My eyes snapped open as I was wrenched back to consciousness. I sat up in bed, looking around the room, trying to remember where I was. It was dark. I nearly knocked my lamp off the table trying to turn the light on. The little fluorescent bulb flickered to life, and the room was illuminated with pale light.
My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my ears. I sat in bed for a few minutes, breathing through my nose, trying to calm down. I’d had that nightmare before. I had a nightmare every time I went to sleep.
I sighed and rubbed my face with my hands. The clock on the wall told me it was just after three in the morning. There would be no getting back to sleep tonight. Resigned to that, I swung my legs off the bed and stood up.
Exodus had housed me in a small metal Quonset hut that, despite its utilitarian appearance, was actually pretty comfortable. It lacked a kitchen but had its own bathroom. (In any case, I’m a terrible cook; I was more than happy to get my meals from the nearby cafeteria.) I headed into said bathroom to take the first leak of the day.
My heart was finally slowing down as I washed my hands. I missed Sarah so much it hurt. I knew her death wasn’t my fault, but that didn’t make it any better. She died because she came back for me. Worse still, she died and I lived. That was so unfair it made me sick.
Sarah was one of the kindest people I’d ever known. I, on the other hand, had spent most of my adult life shooting people for money. I had blood on my hands, and I knew it. If anyone deserved to die, it was me. Worst of all, I’d broken my promise to her. I told her I’d stay with her until the end.