“Peter, she’s a fighter. She wouldn’t want me to take the money and run.”
“That may very well be. But I don’t think you can effectively solicit her opinion at this time.”
“And they get a billion dollars. To fuck up more kids.”
“You could look at it that way. Or you could look at it as maybe saving a thousand kids—5,000 kids — for every one they get wrong.” He sucked on his electric cigarette. “If we go that route, you need to be prepared to go to trial. It’s unlikely that would happen, Gwen, but you’d have to be prepared.”
“How much did the boy who Michael Jackson molested get? The dentist’s kid.”
“Twenty million. In 1993 dollars.”
“So: 20 years ago, a boy — how old was he?”
“13.”
“Ha! A boy Telma’s age gets $20 million for an alleged molestation. And my baby has a radical mastectomy for no medical reason. If you take inflation into account, it’s probably the same amount.”
“That’s a pretty fair representation.”
Long pause. The lawyer speaks up again.
“Why don’t you go home, Gwen. Let me see how serious they are. I’ll ask for a 5 % penalty if word gets out. Let’s see what they counter with.”
“I don’t want this going on and on, Peter. I’ve lost 20 pounds, and I’m losing hunks of hair.”
“Let me talk to them.”
. .
Phoebe what did I do what did I do what did I do I made a terrible mistake! I made another mistake! He just called and said “its up to you but if it were me I/d take it,” they always say its up to you but if it was them theyd take it, they just say it so you dont think theyre coercing, the man gets millions, Peter gets millions his percentage but now I/m blaming him! O Phoebe I/m so selfish I told him I just couldn’t take it anymore I just said do it you know how I/ve been since we found out but what difference does it make how I/ve been what difference does it make I cant take it anymore? of course I can of course I can take anything they throw if I was any kind of mother can you imagine my baby suffering, how she suffered, the surgeries the pain the crying herself to sleep compared with my little problems my big problem! Ha, my little bullshit depressions or whatever Phoebe its so sick my saying to him even to you that I cant take it anymore just do it I cant take it anymore & thinking knowing what shes been through! Phoebe all I have in life is my daughter my relationship with/to my daughter, when she got diagnosed I said I swore before that horrible god because He was the only one I knew I cursed Him and said nothing will ever come between my daughter and me nothing & now they’ve bought me off thats what theyve done they bought & sold my relationship with my daughter my sacred relationship o my god my god my god they didn’t buy it off I did I bought & sold my daughters trust I cant put that on them I can’t blame them or anyone for anything anymore O Phoebe what do I do what do I do what do I say how can I look at her how do I even ever explain all the money, the mastectomoney Phoebe Phoebe what if something happens to me, what if I die of cancer wouldnt that just be so perfect? We need to make sure that youre the guardian should something happen to me you not my mother, & when Im dead and gone they say O & by the way sweetheart you have like 50 million dollars, we just dont know where it came from O Phoebe I want to die its too late I think its too late I tried to call & Peter said it was too late he said I made the right decision of course he would say that because he just got $10 million fucking or whatever dollars, he said to calm down, he used that phrase buyers remorse Phoebe why would he use such a detestable phrase? Im the golden calf so of course he said Id done a noble thing ugh he used that word, noble, he said that I provided for her I assured my daughters future her education her security o these guys are so slick you know all I did Phoebe all I did was assure HIS daughters future, thats what I assured, HIS daughters education, he said I assured her grandchildrens future too Telmas grandchildren thank god she didnt get chemo or there wouldnt BE any grandchildren Phoebe Phoebe yes yes please come over I think this is one of those things people kill themselves over no yes no I promise no I don’t feel like harming myself not yet Im just saying, I took all the mirrors down I just cant look at myself Telmas with her grandma Phoebe how do I explain to Telma why Mommy took down the mirrors because she couldnt look at herself anymore because instead of telling you the truth Mama took the money Mama ran with the money & now your whole life is going to be built on a lie a terrible dark cheap soap opera secret, I know what happens when families keep secrets Phoebe I know you know I know it isn’t good no good can come of it O Telma Telma I am so sorry I was so selfish and so weak okay OK yes Phoebe yes come but dont you think I should just tell her whatever the consequences? Theres a legal penalty, they engineered it that way fucking brilliant like they already knew me, like they had insider information like they already knew Id go for the money! Shes a whore she/ll go for the money, just watch and see… Phoebe I don’t care anymore we dont need that money, not all of it, its an obscene amount, I dont really care I/ll show them I dont care maybe thats the way I can fix it okay now I feel a little better but still come over no I wont make any calls I promise, & if I dont want to do it all I probably need to do is call the attorney, I dont care what Peter said, I/ll get another lawyer, you cant tell me, you cant tell me they can say no because no money has exchanged hands and even if it had I could just give it back, thats what tells me somethings wrong, thats what tells me I fucked up that Im thinking about how to no I wont make that call not until you get here Im so greedy Im just a greedy bullshitter Im a whore isnt that what I am? Im a whore who wants the money maybe I/ll just tell her maybe I/ll just talk to Telma & ask what she thinks we should do maybe she/ll say just let them just let them pay Mama or maybe she won’t, maybe she wouldnt maybe she/d just say Mama you sold my breasts why did you sell my breasts you sold them to the highest bidder! oh Phoebe hurry hurry no I wont I wont do anything I promise, I/ll just sit here no I wont just come just hurry please just come
CLEAN [Telma]
Wanderlust
She
brushes her mother’s hair. Not a real brushing, really just a way of caressing. Gwen’s been in bed for a number of days.
“Mama, are you still sick?”
“I’m sad. I’m just sad.”
“Why are you sad?”
“Sometimes it just happens. Sometimes people get sad, & then they have to take care of themselves. That’s what Mama’s doing — taking care.”
“You’re not sad about something that happened?”
“No, sweetheart. Not at all. Darling, would you like to do some traveling?”
“Like where?”
“I was watching Eat, Pray, Love, and thought it might be wonderful to go to Italy.”
“Sure.”
“Or maybe Bora Bora or the south of France. Or China. We could go to China. Is there anyplace you’d like to go?”
“I want to go to St. Petersburg in Russia!”