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“Really? Wouldn’t I have heard about that?”

“You’re hearing about it now. Listen. They’re giving you a ‘story by’ credit — which is a good thing. You’ll even get paid for it, which is a very good thing. Not a lot, but it’s WGA minimum. For shared story credit.”

“Wow. Cool!”

“You know what this means, don’t you?”

“Tell me.”

“Remember how he called The Wire a novel?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, David’s calling the new series a novel too.”

“Okay.”

Bud wasn’t following.

“David said that his staff is engaged in writing another novel that just so happens to be in the form of a TV series.”

“So?”

“So you don’t have to finish your book.”

“What do you mean?”

“Because it’s already happened.”

What has?”

“Bud, you are now a published novelist! Or will be, once your episode airs.”

“For real?” he answered.

He couldn’t figure out if Michael was joking. He felt dizzy, and his breath was shallow; he’d need to do a round with the nebulizer once he was off the phone.

“Well, by the Simon definition you are — which I suppose is as valid as anyone else’s. So, pour yourself a glass of champagne and give yourself a toast. To Bud Wiggins, on the occasion of the publication of his first novel….

“May there be many more to come!”

CLEAN [Rikki]

Hard Time

He

got 36 months, but would do half that if he kept his nose clean. When Tom-squared got busted for distribution, it was her 3rd strike. She gave him up & pled out. He didn’t hold it against her.

The scam was simple. They targeted widows in affluent neighborhoods. T2 found em on the internet, starting with the hubby obits & working her way back to the wife. She even got their phone numbers & called em up, bogusly wrestling her way into their geriatr. semi-infarcted s. It blew his mind what she could do. The onlys she had trouble with were old ladies who’d already been tapped by the internet-crying Nigger-ians who pretended they were royalty in need.

T would put on a pantsuit & tap on the door and thank them so much for being friend & patron of The Coalition to Stop the Use of Child Soldiers. Of course they’d say you must be mistaken but Rikki would be standing there in one of those purposefully ill-fitting Salv Army — looking sport jackets. When the grieving geezers protested, a bewildered Tom-Tom whipped out proof in the form of a doctored letter signed by them in which they had agreed to house Rikki during his peacemaking trip to America. He came all the way from Sudan! Tom-Tom’s bewilderment would become exasperation & then anger at the ineptness of her organization’s volunteeers. “I hate to do it, but some people are going to be fired over this,” she’d say, and by the sad old confused cunt’s reaction, she’d know pretty much how well they were going to score.

At this point they’d usually invite them in, it being impolite to keep them afoot on the porch like that. Once settled and properly provided with food & drink, the Double T show-and-tell’d photoshop pics of Rikki with Nelson Mandela; with Jimmy Carter; with Barack & Hillbillary. She even had huge War Child International decals on her attaché, o shit she was tight. They took turns raiding the house, at 1st excusing themselves to use the bathroom but over time one of em would simply disappear while the other kept the mourning whore engaged. Before the bust, they fenced about 225K in jewels/gold. Tom-Tom couldn’t prove it but was fairly certain it was Cherokee who dropped the dime. She was looking at 7 years; reduced to 3 for ratting out Rikki.

. .

His father was a jailbird who left when he was a baby, and now Rikki had done the same to his own. The irony wasn’t lost on him. His parents visited and it pained him to see the look of anguish on Dawn’s face. He thought long&hard about it and told Jim he would understand if they wanted to sever parental rights. “No,” said Jim. “I appreciate your sensitivity in the matter, but there’s not a child on Earth who deserves that to happen to him once, let alone twice.”

They brought Nikki to see him. It was just like some of the A&E docs where the family brings babies or toddlers to visit the incarcerated dad. He felt something in him shift. Maybe he’d go to school & become a drug counselor when he got out. (That was what Reeyonna wanted to be, if she couldn’t make it as a medical examiner.) He’d talk to Dr Phil about that when he got out. The bottomline was, he wanted to step up to the plate, like the judge said. Handle himself like a man, not a punk. He remembered everything that judge told him. Being arrested like that made an amazing day into one of the worst in his life. Second to ReeRee dying of course.

He was determined. He would change.

Fake it til you make it.

. .

Rikki had a cellphone in his cell. A cell in the cell hahahaha. They were easy to get from trustees or guards if you had the money. His parents always kept his account topped off at $200. For snacks & cigs & shampoo and shit.

The reception was shitty but sometimes you could actually go online. He got a Lana Del Rey youtube & jacked but didn’t want to come. He’d jack a while then try to get a pornsite then fail and go back to his Lana jack. After 5 or 6 tries, he got on & pulled down his pants & put his hand on the gluegun. He was in the lower bunk but his cellie was out exercising or whatever.

One of his faves, http://behindthecastingcouch.com… it was hard to hear the dialogue but they were pretty much all the same. He never saw one with a pregnant girl before, & he jacked a few minutes before realizing with a shock that it was Reeyonna.

He hit PAUSE.

Reeyonna was so freaked about money, much more than him, probably he thought because of the grudge deal she had going with her mom for cheating her out of her shit. Ree was more practical than him too, & ahead in the nesting dept. Rikki knew how much she wanted to be independent, & the motherfucking casting motherfucker played on that. It was irrational, but he suddenly got angry with himself for never having told her about the shammy site; if he had, she’d never have fallen for it. But why would he? He never even thought about it. She probably went down there around the time Tom-Tom the cuntsnitch was pressuring them to pay rent. He remembered her coming home one day looking fucked up, & how she stayed in bed a bunch of days & wouldn’t tell him what was wrong. He thought he remembered her being worried she was bleeding a little from her pussy too, not a heavy flow, not too worried, but still. But then it stopped. That would have been right around then.

He hit PAUSE again and watched Reeyonna blow the piece of shit motherfucker. Man, this shit was sad. Rikki closed his eyes and shook his head. If a year ago someone told him he’d be in jail looking at porn on a contraband cellphone & the porn would be his dead pregnant fiancée giving some sorry-lookin motherfucker head, he’d have fucking laughed. Now he was cryin.