Bebe nodded.
“And Bucky Buckwalter is the father?”
Instinctively, as if to protect her unborn child from Joanna’s prying question, Bebe’s hand went to her belly. “What if he is?” she asked. “Terry can’t take it away from me, and neither can you.”
“You’re planning on keeping the baby?”
“Yes,” Bebe whispered. “Of course. I want this baby. So did Bucky.”
“He knew about it then?”
Bebe hesitated. “He was happy about it. Glad.”
“Wasn’t that awkward for him, having you turn up pregnant with his baby while he was still married to Terry?”
Bebe’s chin jutted out determinedly. “They were married, but he didn’t love her anymore. And she didn’t care about him, either. Ask her. She’ll tell you. She was always busy with other stuff, like golf every afternoon. Even when she was there at the clinic, she was mean to him. Sometimes she said such ugly things to him, I was surprised he didn’t hit her. And she wouldn’t have kids. He wanted to, but she wouldn’t. Did you know that?”
And there it was. As simple as that. Bucky Buckwalter had lied to this young woman, betraying her as well. “Terry Buckwalter couldn’t have children,” Joanna said softly. “She had a complete hysterectomy several years ago. I know because I helped handle the insurance claim.”
Dismay washed across Bebe’s face. “But…”
“That’s not what he told you, is it,” Joanna said.
Bebe considered for a moment, then seemed to gather her resources. “It doesn’t matter what he said. Bucky wanted a baby, and now he’s going to have one.”
Expecting contrition, Joanna wasn’t quite sure how to proceed. “Maybe,” she suggested. “Are you sure?”
“You mean, am I sure I’m pregnant? Yes. I haven’t been to a doctor, but I know.”
“No,” Joanna said. “Are you sure he wanted it?”
Bebe’s tough facade crumpled. “No, I don’t know,” she wailed. “I was going to tell him, but I never got a chance. My appointment to see the doctor isn’t until next week. I was sure, but I wanted it to be official. But I know Bucky would have wanted it.”
“And you thought he’d divorce Terry to marry you?”
“Yes. He would have, too.”
“How many other people know about this?” Joanna asked.
“Other people? Terry and you, I guess.”
“No one else?” Joanna asked. “No old boyfriends who might be jealous? No male relatives who might take exception to Bucky Buckwalter for taking advantage of you?”
Joanna waited a moment to let those words register. Bebe’s lower lip trembled. Her eyes filled with tears once more. “I never had any other boyfriends,” she said. “Bucky was it. For me, he was the only one. I loved him, and I’m sure he loved nee, too.”
No, he didn’t, Joanna thought. But she didn’t say it. Didn’t contradict. Instead she sat back on the chair. “Tell me about him,” she said.
And Bebe Noonan did.
FOURTEEN
In the course of the next hour and a half, as Joanna talked Bebe Noonan, she learned something else about the stark realities of being a police officer. Yes, she had signed up to catch bad guys and do paperwork and do battle with the board of supervisors. But she had also signed up to share other people’s pain. Bebe Noonan was in pain.
Her tidy little camper was totally at odds with the rest of the Noonan place. The trailer may have been small and cramped and hot, but it was also spotlessly clean. The chrome faucet gleamed. Covers on the neatly made bed were absolutely straight. No hint of dust or dirt marred the cracked linoleum floor. The room’s sole decoration was a hand-painted ceramic wall plaque that announced, “Jesus loves you.”
Bebe’s trailer constituted a small, pitiful piece of order bravely wrested from the utter chaos around her. Listening lo Bebe talk, Joanna realized that Bebe’s sense of desolation went far beyond the physical ugliness and apparent poverty of her surroundings. Her isolation was emotional as well as physical.
Bianca Noonan lived on her parents’ place, but she lived separate from them as well. As she told her story, it was plain to see that she lived there out of necessity rather than choice or out of some sense of warmth and family togetherness. As Janna listened to Bebe talk, she was surprised to notice, for the first time, that this plain young woman-with a wiry frame, dishwater-blond hair, and almost total lack of self-confidence-bore an eerie resemblance to a much younger Terry Buckwalter. A pre-Helen-Barco Terry Buckwalter.
No wonder Bucky had hired Bebe to work for him. No wonder she had been so susceptible to his charms and empty promises. No wonder, either, that she so desperately wanted keep Bucky Buckwalter’s baby. With or without the presence of a father, Bebe wanted this child. A baby would give her someone to love. Someone who, unlike her own family, might love her in return.
The more Joanna heard, the more she realized how sad the whole situation was. She knew, too, that it would continue to be so far into the future. It was difficult for her to keep from saying some of the things that were on her mind-lessons she had already learned the hard way-about how demanding it was to be left to raise a child alone. Finally, exhausted by the telling of it, Bebe Noonan simply ran out of team.
“How old are you?” Joanna asked after a long pause.
“Twenty-three,” Bebe sniffed.
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Tell your parents?”
“I can’t,” Bebe whispered.
“You’ll have to tell them sooner or Liter,” Joanna insisted.
“My dad’ll kill me when he finds out.”
Joanna shook her head. “He won’t be happy, but he’ll cope,” she interjected. “That’s what parents do.”
“But he’ll say I’m no good,” Bebe continued. “He’ll throw me out. I’ll have to find someplace else to live.”
“Then you’ll find an apartment of your own,” Joanna told her.
Bebe’s eyes filled with tears once more. “How? I’ve been living here for free. Even so, I can barely afford my car payments. That’s why I went to see Terry. I wanted to ask her for help with the baby. And she told me to… to…”
“I heard what she told you,” Joanna said. “And you can’t very well blame her.”
“No,” Bebe said. “I suppose not, but I thought maybe…”
“You thought what?”
Bebe shrugged. “That since it’s Bucky’s baby, that maybe she’d give me something. You know, that she’d offer to help out with money. She’ll have insurance and stuff. She’ll be able to afford it.”
Joanna thought of Terry Buckwalter, suddenly unencumbered and liquidating assets as fast as she could so she could get on with her own life. In the meantime, here was Bebe expecting to put a very compelling, living and breathing wrench in the works. Joanna felt sorry for both women. She fell even sorrier for the baby.
“I lave you seen a lawyer?” she asked.
“No,” Bebe said. “I haven’t even seen the doctor yet. Why would I need a lawyer?”
“Because if you’re expecting to collect money from Bucky’s estate or from his Social Security account, you’ll have to file a paternity suit. You’ll have to prove Bucky is the baby’s father. In order to do that, you’ll need a lawyer. It’s not all that hard to establish paternity these days, but you’ll need to collect some DNA evidence. The only way to do that is with court order. You’ll be better off doing it before Bucky is buried rather than afterward.”
“But do I have to?” Bebe asked miserably. “Do I have to go through all that-get a lawyer and go to court and all like that? If I do, my parents will know, and so will everybody else.”
“I told you before, Bebe. People-your parents included-are bound to find out eventually,” Joanna pointed out. “And if what you say is true, if your parents really are going to throw you out, then you’d better start acting like a grown-up right now and making some arrangements to protect not only yourself but also the baby. Social Security isn’t going to pay survivors’ benefits to a child based on your unsubstantiated claim as to who the father might be. You’re going to have to prove the baby is Bucky’s. If I were you, I’d get on the telephone right now.”