Maddie had fallen asleep again, her face waxy and her eyelids translucent. She lay arms flung wide, leg hanging off the sofa. I stopped the tape and went to make myself more tea. I sat in the lounge and watched her while I drank it. I could just hear her breath, regular and shallow. I shook my head to drive away the fears that perched on my shoulders. I wanted to savour this peace. I was continually surprised at how this child enchanted me, and the endless breathtaking love she drew from me. For all our strife, and we certainly had our moments, she had transformed my world and my memories of life before I shared it with her were faded, shot in the half-light.
She stirred as I gazed at her and opened her eyes. ‘Mummy?’ She frowned, raised herself on her elbows. I knew what was coming from her expression but there was no time to act. She pitched forward over the edge of the sofa and threw up exhaustively all over the carpet.
Buckets and cloths, bicarb and disinfectant. A shower and shampoo for Maddie, clean clothes. I still had to finish my phone calls. Denise came round to say she could collect Tom when she went for Jade. Great. I thanked her and got back to work.
I tried Mrs Deason, but there was still no reply.
I started with Victor Wallace.
‘Mr Pitt has all the information now,’ I said. ‘I met with Joey Deason yesterday. He gave me a clear account of what happened. He was an eye-witness.’
‘Go on.’
‘Two men attacked Ahktar; they started to rough him up and Joey protested. He pulled his knife and one of the men, who fits the description of Rashid Siddiq, took it from him. Ahktar lashed out, kicked Siddiq in the face. Siddiq promptly retaliated by stabbing Ahktar. Joey was threatened; they broke his fingers as a memento.’
‘And Luke?’ His voice was thick with emotion.
‘Nowhere near. I still don’t know how he got to Ahktar, and no one’s got a clue why they set upon Ahktar in the first place. It was some sort of warning apparently but Luke wasn’t there.’
‘Thank God. Oh, thank God.’ He sniffed loudly.
‘Mr Pitt says he’ll make an application for bail and in the course of that he’ll reveal the new evidence. But it’s not clear whether they’ll drop the charges against Luke and discontinue the case, or take it to trial and argue it all out there.’
‘But surely they need to go after Siddiq, for God’s sake!’ he shouted. ‘Luke’s innocent – this proves it.’
‘Yes, I agree. But it’s up to the CPS.’
‘Yes, sorry,’ he apologised for his outburst. ‘Thank you,’ he managed.
‘I’ll send you a final report with my invoice. You need to speak to Mr Pitt now about procedures and so on.’
‘When will he…how soon?’
‘I don’t know, I got the impression it would be days not weeks.’
‘Thank you,’ he said huskily, ‘for all you’ve done.’ Naw! Now I was starting to fill up.
‘Give Luke my best wishes,’ I said. ‘I hope they do discontinue. They’d be mad to press ahead, they really would.’
We said our goodbyes.
I imagined him looking out at that lovely garden, the boulder by the pond, the phone in his hand, tears on his cheeks. His faith in his son vindicated. The end in sight after all the months of fighting. Though he would still need to be strong for Luke, who, no matter how soon he was released, would need much love and support to get back to the business of living.
I kept checking outside. The van hadn’t come back but I felt stretched with tension. Would they leave it now – wait and see if I paid attention to their intimidation?
Tom was dropped off and I made some baked potatoes with a cheese and broccoli sauce. Maddie was still sleeping; I let her be. There was plenty of food left and Sheila was back in time to share it.
‘Are you sure?’
‘There’s loads, get a plate.’
Ray was talking about his course to Sheila; the need to upgrade his computer here at home. Tom was enjoying the novelty of being the only child at the tea table, chipping into the conversation. I found it hard to concentrate. My mind kept creeping back to the white transit and Siddiq’s quiet voice with its ugly message.
I waited until Tom had gone off to play, to alert the others.
‘I was threatened today,’ I said baldly as Ray handed coffee round, ‘by a witness on the case I’m covering.’
‘Sal!’ exclaimed Sheila. ‘What happened?’
‘I was told to forget what I’d heard.’ I knew I had to tell them about his allusion to Maddie too, but I dare not say it. It was as though I’d give life to the danger if I spoke the words again. Denial, they call it.
‘Where was this?’ Ray’s face had gone peaky, concerned.
‘Here, in the drive.’
‘Shit. Tell the police.’
‘I have told the police, and the lawyer involved.’
‘What are you going to do?’ asked Sheila.
‘I don’t think anything will come of it,’ I said, ‘but I’d feel safer if we used the chain on the door and checked on visitors. Keep a close eye on the children-’
‘The children?’ Ray’s mouth tightened. He stared at me.
I swallowed. ‘He, the man, he mentioned Maddie.’
‘Christ!’ Ray hit the table. Hardly a useful contribution to the discussion. It made me jump. I knew what he was thinking. My job was too dangerous. I’d brought that danger home, into our lives, into our children’s lives.
‘It’s just words,’ I insisted. I wobbled, guilt and fear see-sawing inside.
‘Oh, Sal,’ Sheila put her hand on my arm.
‘Who is this guy?’ Ray demanded.
I shook my head. ‘You don’t want to know. I’ve reported it to the police.’
‘Yeah? And where are they? What are they doing about it?’ He was furious, his eyes hard and bright. ‘Sweet fuck all.’
‘It’ll be over soon,’ I tried to speak calmly, ‘it’s more than likely this bloke will be picked up by the police.’
‘And in the meantime, we worry ourselves sick about the children, yeah?’ He paced round the kitchen, his hands balled into fists. ‘Wait here like sitting ducks to see if anyone gets beaten up or-’
‘Ray!’ I shouted. ‘I need your support, not a bloody lecture. Don’t you think I haven’t been frantic with worry, you stupid…’ I broke down then, hot tears that made me crosser.
‘Perhaps the children could stay somewhere else for a while,’ Sheila suggested. ‘You said it would soon be over.’
Debbie and her children, packing up, moving out. They’d soon be able to go back home. Had her children known what was going on; had they learned to be fearful or vigilant as a result?
I wiped my eyes with my hands. ‘It should be. The lawyer will be meeting the prosecution and trying to get my client out on bail. They’ll probably drop the charges too. And they’ll decide whether to charge the man who’s been intimidating me.’
‘Why should the threats stop then?’ Ray asked.
‘Because either there’ll be no case to answer, so what I know is irrelevant, or there’ll be a new case and this guy will be behind bars,’ I said nothing about what might happen if the case against Luke Wallace continued to trial.
‘I really don’t think we need to send the kids away. There’s no point in blowing it out of proportion.’ I avoided looking at Ray. ‘I’ve been warned. Presumably they’ll want to see if the warning has worked. What they don’t realise is that I’ve already passed on the information that they want hushed up, and the rug’s going to be pulled out from underneath them.’ No response from Ray. ‘And I promise if there's anything else, any more approaches, anything, I’ll tell you and we’ll decide what to do then.’
‘I think you should tell us what this man looks like,’ said Sheila.
I described Rashid Siddiq and the white van. And I repeated the fact that all this was me taking precautions and that it wouldn’t go on for long.