We sat at the table and stared at each other, just as we stared at each other every morning. Except that now, he was looking me straight in the eye, and not a fraction higher as he usually did.
"Tell me about the child. When did that happen?"
"It must have happened in August, when we went on vacation together. She told me in October."
The memory upset him and his voice grew hoarse. "I told her she must keep it. I'm from a village and when one of us gets a girl pregnant, we marry her. That's how I was brought up. But it wasn't just that. I was in love with her. I know how it is when you're only twenty-one. You fall in love at the drop of a hat. But we'd spent three weeks on our own in the islands and when we came back I couldn't bear to be apart from her for even one second. So I told her to keep it and that I'd marry her. She burst out laughing. `Are you completely mad?' was what she said. `I want a career as a journalist and you expect me to burden myself with a brat and a policeman in uniform for a husband? No way. I'm going to get rid of it. 'I begged her. I kept telling her how much I loved her and how much I wanted the child. My passion scared her and she decided that we should split up. I went off my head. From begging her, I began threatening her. And after that she disappeared. She resigned from the Armed Forces Channel, moved, changed her phone number, and I couldn't find her anywhere. I became so depressed that I left the academy."
It was then that she'd decided to keep the child and give it to her sister. But Thanassis didn't know that.
"Then, suddenly, years later, I saw her one day at the station, right there in front of me. I was stunned. She was friendly and suggested that we go for a coffee. And while we were having a coffee, out of the blue she said: `Your daughter is doing fine. She's nineteen now.' Can you imagine the shock? I'd begged her to keep it and she'd left me so that she could get rid of it. Because of her, I'd left the academy, and suddenly, all these years later, she told me she'd kept the child and that she was now nineteen years old. I told her I wanted to see the girl, but Yanna wouldn't hear of it."
He stopped, to catch his breath. He moistened his lips. Now he was talking without looking at me, as he'd covered his face with his hands. "I had an overwhelming urge to see my daughter. Don't ask me why. I don't know. Maybe it was because I had wanted the child so much. Or perhaps I simply dug in my heels because she'd deceived me. Probably both. When I saw that insisting wasn't getting me anywhere, I started to follow her. So, of course, I discovered that my daughter didn't live with her. And not only that, but no one around her seemed to be aware that she even had a daughter. The more I searched, the more my insistence turned into an obsession. I wanted to see my child."
How could she have shown her to him? She had turned her over to Antonakaki.
"One day, she came and said to me that I could meet the child if I did her a favor. She wanted me to give her all the reports that came into the department with connections to the buying and selling of children."
"And you gave them to her."
"I gave them to her because I didn't think I was doing anything criminal. All reporters get their information from somewhere. But when I asked her about the child, she kept stringing me along."
"And so you began writing letters to her and threatening her?"
"Yes."
"And why did you sign yourself N?"
"Nassos. That's what she called me. She didn't like Thanassis-she called me Nassos."
The solution is often under our noses and we can't see it.
"Until one day she asked me for another favor. She wanted to know when Pylarinos's refrigerator trucks crossed the borders and who was the customs official who checked them."
So he was the one who had been asking and had scared Hourdakis.
"I found it all out and gave her the information." He sighed again and lifted his head. "Things went downhill from there," he said.
? " Y•"
"Because I was approached by Dourou."
"By Dourou?"
"Dourou, yes. She telephoned me at home. I don't know how she found my number, but she wanted us to meet. And she proposed working together"
"And did you agree?"
"I told Yanna that things had gone far enough, that I wasn't doing any more. But she had a demon inside her. She always had a way of getting around you. She told me to pretend that I was going along with them, to gather information and to give it to her. When she'd finished her investigation, she'd say that she'd uncovered the affair thanks to my help and she'd make me famous. And then she'd let me meet my daughter, because the girl had been brought up in a different environment and she couldn't suddenly tell her that her father was a common policeman."
Why hadn't Dourou admitted before now that she'd known Thanassis? Obviously because she was still not admitting her guilt to anything particular and was keeping him as the ace up her sleeve. She would let the bombshell drop when she realized that there was no way for her to get off.
"I agreed, but on one condition. That before she went on the air with it, she'd hand over all the information to you, so that you could go ahead with the arrests at the same time. She agreed and we went on with it. Whatever information I gathered, I gave it to Dourou. Whenever any kids were delivered, I made sure I was in the area so that if a patrol car suddenly appeared, I could send it away. At the same time, I also informed Yanna. When I saw Seki during the interrogation, I recognized him right away. I'd seen him coming in the van to bring the children. I told them that we were holding him. And when he signed the confession, I gave him 200,000. I told him it was a down payment and that he'd get ten times more if he kept his mouth shut. The stupid Albanian believed it and of course they silenced him for good. And it was me who told them about Hourdakis. I had heard that Sotiris was looking for him"
"Thanassis, it's me you're talking to, Haritos. Do you really think I believe that you did all this just to see your daughter?"
"You," he said to me sharply and with envy, "you've had your daughter with you to pamper for so many years. And even so, you're in a black mood every other day because you miss her. And when she phones you, you act like a little boy."
Put a sock in it, Haritos. There's nothing you can say to him. He was shaking his head back and forth to underline his despair. "I'm telling you. She had a demon inside her. And she knew how to keep your hopes alive. From the day I agreed to play along with Dourou, she started sleeping with me again. Not regularly, just now and again. Without actually saying so, she let me believe that what hadn't happened twenty years ago might happen now. That we might all live together. Her, me, and our daughter."
"When did you get wise to her?" I said.
"After the Albanian couple died, when she came to you and dropped the hint about the kids. You knew nothing, but I understood right away where she was going with it. She wanted to make you come out and announce to the media that you were looking for kids, and then she would go on the air and reveal everything, to show the public that whereas the police were only just beginning to be suspicious and were wandering about in the dark, she had everything already sewn up. She wanted to ridicule everyone, the police and the reporters, and to become a star. To show that she was miles ahead of her male colleagues. The only thing she didn't have, and which I couldn't find out for her, was how Pylarinos was involved in all this."
Because she didn't have Zissis. I had him.
"And that's why you killed her?"
The question was going to come eventually and he was expecting it. He looked at me for a moment. The thought passed through my mind that he might deny it, but he said slowly: "In part, it was your fault that I killed her."
"My fault?"
"You sent me off with her that night. I didn't want to go, but you insisted. When I told her that I knew what she was up to and reminded her of our agreement, she just laughed at me. She told me that she would honor our agreement but with one minor alteration. She'd hand over all the information, but only when the police called her, to show the public that without her we'd never have got anywhere. I threatened to tell you everything. She laughed again and told me not to even think about it, as I was involved up to the eyes and if I ruined her scoop, she'd turn me into a news item to make up for it. Before we left, she told me that she wanted to make a phone call. Then I took her as far as her car. In my madness, I hoped that she'd change her mind even at that last minute. But she rolled down the window and told me that she'd go on the air that same night with a small part of it, just enough to whet the appetite of the public, and that the next day she'd drop the bombshell on the nine o'clock news. And off she went so I didn't have time to say anything in answer to that."