The hardest thing was that I didn’t know where to turn. It helped to read novels about teenagers with different lives and hope that someday I would escape my conservative small town. I had my best friend, though she was a grade younger and didn’t know how bad it was for me at school. I told my parents, who talked about it with the principal. But nothing got better. My teachers didn’t even make the boys remove their swastikas on Halloween!
This was twenty-five years ago. Maybe things have changed in the schools. Hopefully they have. Hopefully, Elizabeth, you have an adult you can confide in, someone at school who can help you. I know it’s tricky. I know that to tell someone risks calling further attention to yourself. I’m glad you were inspired by The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things. That was an important story for me to write, particularly when Virginia starts embracing herself as she is, not changing to please other people.
And this brings me to my inspiring last paragraph. The teasing subsided by the end of junior high. I went to high school and made new friends and had boyfriends and fell in love for the first time. I went to college and then became a novelist (my grown-up version of playing dolls!) and met my husband and got married and we now have two beautiful boys. No one teases me anymore. I feel safe in my life. Those hellish years are over.
Okay, one more paragraph. Because even though those years are over, they’re not. Being bullied is part of who I am today—in the way I think, the way I treat people, the way I raise my children. It was scarring. Now and then I have to take a deep breath and fend off the inner voice that says I’m, well, a hoser. But it also made me a deeper, more sympathetic, more compassionate person. It’s allowed me to write novels about teen characters and really feel what they are going through. Which, in turn, has resulted in letters from readers like you! Yes, I wish I’d never been bullied (enter magic wand here). But I’m writing to say that there’s hope on the other side. Hang in there.
Love,
Carolyn
Resources for Teens
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE
A twenty-four-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis.
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
THE BOYS TOWN NATIONAL HOTLINE
A toll-free number available to kids, teens, and young adults at any time—if you’re depressed, contemplating suicide, being physically or sexually abused, on the run, addicted, threatened by gang violence, fighting with a friend or parent, or if you are faced with an overwhelming challenge.
1-800-448-3000
www.boystown.org/national-hotline
www.yourlifeyourvoice.org
NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT HOTLINE AND NATIONAL SEXUAL ASSAULT ONLINE HOTLINE
A free, confidential, secure service that provides live help operated by RAINN via their telephone hotline or website.
1-800-656-HOPE
www.rainn.org/get-help
TREVOR PROJECT
The Trevor Project is determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources including their nationwide, twenty-four/seven crisis intervention lifeline, digital community, and advocacy/educational programs that create a safe, supportive, and positive environment for everyone.
www.thetrevorproject.org
REACH OUT
Reach Out is an information and support service that uses evidence-based principles and technology to help teens facing tough times and struggling with mental health issues. All content is written by teens, for teens.
http://us.reachout.com
THE JED FOUNDATION
The Jed Foundation works nationally to reduce the rate of suicide and the prevalence of emotional distress among college and university students.
www.jedfoundation.org
IT GETS BETTER PROJECT
The suicide of fifteen-year-old Billy Lucas inspired “Savage Love” columnist Dan Savage’s website, where musicians, politicians, artists, and many, many more talk openly about growing up gay—and sharing how life got better.
www.itgetsbetter.org
RAVEN DAYS
“For surviving middle school, junior high school, and high school as a hunted outsider.” An organization for outsiders who are being bullied at school, for adults who remember what it was like to be bullied, and for those who want to help.
www.ravendays.org
Resources for Educators and Parents
STOMP OUT BULLYING
Stomp Out Bullying, a national antibullying and anti-cyberbullying program for kids and teens, is a program of Love Our Children USA.
www.stompoutbullying.org
TEACHING TOLERANCE
Teaching Tolerance, a program of the Southern Poverty Law Center, aims to reduce prejudice and improve intergroup relations in the nation’s classrooms and communities. Teaching Tolerance’s Mix It Up program is a national campaign that helps K–12 teachers develop inclusive school communities.
www.tolerance.org
INTERNATIONAL BULLYING PREVENTION ASSOCIATION
The mission of the International Bullying Prevention Association is to support and enhance quality research-based bullying prevention principles and practices in order to achieve safe school climates, healthy work environments, good citizenship, and civic responsibility.
www.stopbullyingworld.org
GLSEN
The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network, the leading national education organization focused on ensuring safe schools for all students, envisions a world in which every child learns to respect and accept all people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.
www.glsen.org
MASSACHUSETTS AGGRESSION REDUCTION CENTER
The MARC website offers free resources on bullying prevention, cyberbullying education and prevention, and violence prevention.
www.bridgew.edu/marc
STOP BULLYING NOW!
A campaign that presents practical, research-based strategies to reduce bullying in schools.
www.stopbullyingnow.com
NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR PEOPLE OF COLOR AGAINST SUICIDE
NOPCAS was formed to stop the tragic epidemic of suicide in minority communities.
www.nopcas.com
THE OPHELIA PROJECT
The Ophelia Project serves youth and adults who are affected by relational and other nonphysical forms of aggression by providing them with a unique combination of tools, strategies, and solutions.
www.opheliaproject.org
Acknowledgments
Thanks to all of the brilliant, generous, and talented contributors in this book. When we started the Young Adult Authors Against Bullying group on Facebook, we had no idea how quickly it would take off. So, not only do I want to thank the anthology contributors for their time, patience, and creativity, I’d like to thank the hundreds of authors who submitted essays for inclusion in this book (and who will be featured at www.dearbully.com), as well as the thousands who joined our fight against bullying online.