My blood ran cold at the thought. I sat petrified, an animal scenting danger and too terrified to move. I pictured her creeping up the stairs, one of Thomas’s wicked-looking kitchen knives poised and ready… What a crass fool I was! If I had not let Abel and Thomas see so plainly that I had changed my mind about moving on tomorrow morning, I should most likely have escaped unharmed.
Without having any recollection of moving, I found myself on my feet, trying to lace up my tunic with unsteady fingers. I must go now, at once, while Master Parsons — whose pockets were so to let that he was not worth killing — was still up and about. I must make any excuse and leave. Perhaps if I went to St Paul’s I could find Philip Lamprey and a makeshift bed in the cloisters. I had my cloak around me, my pack and stick in one hand, the other on the door latch, when I knew with a flash of blinding certainty that I could not do it. I could not leave Thomas Prynne and Abel Sampson to their murderous pursuits; I could not let other unsuspecting flies walk into their evil web. I had to find proof of what they were up to. And when better than now? The night after Master Farmer had, according to them, failed to arrive.
And I knew then, with complete certainty, that of course he had arrived while I, and no doubt Master Parsons, too, lay upstairs in a drugged sleep. He had been killed and his body disposed of sometime during the small hours before Matins and Lauds, when force of habit had dragged me awake. But surely they could not have rid themselves of everything so soon. Some trace of the unfortunate man must remain somewhere. But where? And there again, I did not have to seek far for an answer. The cellar was the only safe place for the murders; and undoubtedly the opening to the conduit, spoken of by the ragwoman, Doll, could be found there. It made far more sense than looking for it at the Crossed Hands inn: the Baptist’s Head was so much closer to the wharfside and river.
Another question posed itself. If my theory were right and Master Farmer had arrived, what had happened to his horse? Then I remembered. I was sure I had heard two horses while I was in the privy last night. Later, Thomas Prynne had convinced me that I had heard only one, and at the time I had had no reason to disbelieve him. It explained, too, why the back door to the inn had been unbolted. Matilda Ford had been let in that way and it had been left unlocked until after her departure. Abel, too, had possibly been out of doors, in which case I had locked him out. The thought gave me a grim satisfaction.
My elation, however, was brief and immediately replaced by a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. What was I doing, contemplating, even for a moment, staying on at the Baptist’s Head? I was deliberately putting myself in untold danger. For I had no doubt that the wine was drugged, nor that Thomas and Abel intended to dispose of me while I slept. I had become too much of a threat to their peace of mind. Only my immediate departure could save me now.
Besides, putting my own life in jeopardy had never been part of my bargain with God, and I told him so in no uncertain terms. Unfortunately, He did not seem to be listening.
‘I won’t do it,’ I muttered fiercely. ‘You have no right to ask it of me. You’re omnipotent. You find a way of dealing with Thomas and Abel.’
God remained silent, but I could tell that He wasn’t pleased. Words like ‘coward’ and ‘lily-livered’ floated in and out of my mind. I thought of Alfred Weaver and Lady Mallory and my promises to them to find out the truth. Well, I had found out the truth, but unless I did something about it, I could never tell them. My knees were shaking, my mouth was dry and I gripped my pack and stick more firmly. My hand tightened on the latch… But I couldn’t lift it. Bitterly I recognized the fact that, as always, God was going to get His own way.
I replaced pack and stick on the floor and took off my cloak, forcing my reluctant body to lie down on the bed again. There was an hour or two yet before everyone retired to bed and the inn was quiet. Until then, I could not carry out my purpose. I blew out the candle and lay there in the darkness, wondering how I was going to while away the time. I supposed I could always pray…
Against all expectations, I slept.
I awoke from a deep, dreamless sleep, the sweat pouring down my body. How could I possibly have dozed off when I knew my life to be in danger? I had heard stories of condemned men sleeping soundly the night before their execution, but had never believed them. Now I knew that exhaustion of body can sometimes overcome even fear.
I sat up, straining my ears. I had no idea how long I had been asleep, but the inn was very quiet. I slid off the bed, went over to the door and opened it a crack. All was silent, except for the noise of a stertorous, rhythmic snoring. I judged this to be coming from Master Parsons’s room, and knew with a sudden, horrible certainty that his supper wine had been drugged. Nothing would rouse him to come to my assistance. Moreover, he was expecting me to leave in the morning. Abel and Thomas would simply tell him that I had gone earlier than expected.
Softly I closed the door and leaned against the wall, trying to stop my teeth chattering. I reminded God tersely that He had got me into this mess and that it was up to Him to get me out of it. He reminded me that he had given me strength, health and a thinking brain and that it was up to me to use these precious assets. I abandoned the argument. Why could I never learn that it was useless trying to burden God with my responsibilities?
After a moment or two, when I was more in control of my body, I began to edge towards the door again. I must get out of the room before Abel or Thomas or Matilda Ford came to complete their handiwork. I didn’t think they would hurry. They thought me drugged, and would wait until they were certain that Master Parsons was soundly sleeping. I had one advantage: neither Thomas nor Abel were aware that I knew the truth. They still thought that my suspicions were centred on the Crossed Hands inn. I stooped and picked up the stout, thick stick which had supported me across so many miles. Now, I needed it for a different purpose. As silently as possible, I again lifted the latch.
The landing was in darkness except for the light which filtered through the window shutters. Cautiously I stepped across and opened them a fraction, peering down into the street. Tonight, however, there was no sign of life; no cloaked and hooded figure making her way along Crooked Lane. Closing the shutters once more, I returned to the head of the stairs and listened intently for any sound of voices from below. I could hear nothing and proceeded to tiptoe downstairs in my stockinged feet, stepping carefully so as to avoid any tell-tale creaking. Each moment I expected to be challenged by one or the other of the villainous trio.
At the bottom of the flight I waited, my back pressed against the wall, my ears straining for the slightest sound, my cudgel gripped securely in my right hand, ready for instant action. Still there was only silence and a complete absence of light. Had Thomas and Abel gone upstairs to bed, keeping vigil in their respective chambers until such time as they were sure the drugged wine had taken effect? Or were they still down here, ready to waylay me in the darkness? My heart was pounding so fast, I felt as if I must choke. I took a deep breath, trying to stop its frantic beating.
‘Put yourself in their place, ‘ said a voice inside my head, and I obeyed it. Why should they wait downstairs for me, when they had no idea that I was likely to leave my room? When they believed me safely tucked up in the four-poster, fast asleep, drugged by the wine? I must force myself to remember that they had no reason to know that I had tumbled to their murderous little game. If they were still up, they would be working in the kitchen, preparing the bread for tomorrow’s early morning baking. But there was no light and no noise from that quarter.