He had been staring at the stair carpet without seeing it; now its pattern came into focus, an abstract arrangement of reds, greens and dulled yellows that coalesced into a sharp goatee-chinned devil’s face, repeated over and over. Magnus closed his eyes and opened them again, forcing himself to unsee the image. It was a trick of the mind, like the faces he had conjured in the woodchip that papered his bedroom walls as a child.
He leaned against the banister for support as he climbed the stairs to his room. How could Father Wingate and Jacob Powe hold on to their faith in the face of so much death? What kind of god was it they worshipped? He pushed open the door to the room. The candle cast a thin pool of light over the worn carpet, the rose-sprigged wallpaper, the rumpled counterpane. The bedcovers shifted and Magnus saw the woman who had hidden in the ditch beside Belle at the sound of their motorbikes. Her long hair was spread across her shoulders, her expression was grave.
He said stupidly, ‘Are you Melody?’
‘No,’ the woman said. ‘Melody’s dead.’
She drew back the sheets making space for him and he saw the curve of her breasts, her dark nipples.
Magnus whispered, ‘I don’t know you,’ and thought what a ridiculous thing it was to say.
She said, ‘I need to be with someone tonight. My thoughts are too loud in my head.’
Magnus could feel himself hardening, all his thoughts beginning to flee. He touched the doorjamb with his fingertips.
‘You’re grieving.’
‘We’re all grieving. The least we can do is comfort each other.’
Magnus stepped into the room and set the candle on the bedside table. His body threw dark shadows against the bedroom walls as he started to pull off his clothes.
Twenty-Four
Her name was Raisha and she had been a pharmacist in a large branch of Boots. She had also been married with two small boys. Her husband had died first, followed by her younger son, then the elder. She had had a mother, two brothers and a sister, none of whom survived. Those of her husband’s relatives she had been able to seek out were also victims of the sweats.
Raisha told him all this as dawn stretched golden into the small bedroom. The birds were chorusing the arrival of the new day. Their songs seemed to stretch further and higher, as if there were more space for them in the new, unpeopled world.
Raisha said, ‘I waited for the sweats to take me too, and when it didn’t I went to one of the quarantine centres where I was sure to catch it. I worked there until there was no one left to help and then I started to walk. I didn’t have the courage to kill myself, but I was sure that if I kept on walking I would die eventually. Every meal I took, every drink of water was a betrayal of my family. I knew I should die, but I kept on going.’
‘And now?’ Magnus asked. He had not told her about his own family and his hopes that they might still be alive.
Raisha was curled in the crook of his arm. The tears that had slid down her face as she recounted her story had dried.
‘I keep on going. Father Wingate says that God has saved me for a purpose.’
‘Do you believe that?’
‘No, because that would mean He had a purpose in killing so many people. But Father Wingate is a nice old man who believes we can make a better world and so I keep my thoughts to myself.’
They had made love twice in the night. Magnus had put his arms around her by the glow of the candle, but Raisha had leaned over and blown out the flame before she allowed him to kiss her. Magnus wondered if she had been thinking of her husband and imagining that he was him.
‘I think about them all the time,’ she said, as if she had read his mind. ‘Thinking about them keeps them alive. But sometimes it hurts too much and I need to shut out the memories. Her hand slipped beneath the covers and her smooth fingers began caressing his body. Raisha put her face to his and kissed him. He kissed her back and when she drew him to her, Magnus tried not to mind that she closed her eyes.
It was afternoon by the time they got out of bed. Raisha slid from beneath the sheets and dressed quickly with her back to him. She gave Magnus a smile before she left the room, but did not say where she was going or if they would see each other again. Magnus lay there for a while staring at the ceiling. The plaster was old and crisscrossed with thread lines. He saw a man’s face in the cracks, a disjointed dog, a shape that might have been the outline of Australia. He had never been there. Never would now. Were there still people left alive on the other side of the world? Perhaps there was a man like him, way down under, lying somewhere in bed, his limbs heavy from sex, wondering about the future.
Magnus heard the sound of activity in the kitchen and hesitated before he entered. The man at the stove was tall and young with thick blond hair and a profile that would guarantee him an audition for a Boris Karloff biopic. It was an ugly, dignified face not made for smiles. The man took a pot of coffee from the burner, poured two cups and handed one to Magnus without asking.
‘Your friend’s awake.’ His voice was a surprise. It was soft with a faint accent Magnus could not place: Scandinavian or perhaps German.
‘Thanks.’ He took the cup and held out his free hand. ‘I’m Magnus.’ He wondered where the man had been while he and Jacob had struggled to carry Jeb into the house.
‘I know. Father Wingate told me.’ The man was dressed in muddy jeans and a soiled sweater and Magnus guessed he had been working outside. He looked at Magnus’s hand as if he were uncertain of what he was meant to do and then shook it. ‘I’m Will.’
‘Been here long?’ Magnus asked.
Will shrugged as if to say, what did it matter, and raised his cup to his mouth.
‘He was asking for you.’
‘Who?’
‘Your friend. Father Wingate said to tell you that your friend wanted to see you.’
Will topped up his own cup with coffee from the pot. He turned off the stove and went out into the garden, closing the door softly behind him.
At first he thought that Jeb was sleeping, but then his eyes opened and Magnus saw the weighing stare he had grown to know.
‘I thought you’d be on your way.’ He was back to the man Magnus had met in prison, the solitary inmate, bitter and self-reliant.
The room they had put Jeb in faced on to a kitchen garden. Magnus could see Will in the garden below, digging one of the beds. He was putting his back into the task, shifting soil as if his life depended on it. It was harvest, not sowing time. Magnus wondered if the task was therapeutic, or if Will knew nothing about the order of the seasons. There was a chair by the edge of the bed. Magnus sat on it.
‘I will be soon. Someone said you wanted to see me.’
‘They were lying.’
‘It was the priest.’
‘They’re the biggest liars of all.’ Jeb straightened himself awkwardly in the bed, grimacing against the pain. ‘The old one or the killer?’
There was a slurred edge to his speech and Magnus guessed Jeb was still medicated. ‘The old one.’