She turned back to the bloody neck. Elaine couldn't see the injuries anymore. The blood covered them, but she could still feel the bite marks under her hands. Randwulf lay very still under her touch. She turned her invisible touch deeper into his body. She found his life fluttering. He was dying. Why?
She stared at the blood spreading into the snow. "I'm killing him," she said softly.
"Yes," Silvanus said.
EIGHTEEN
"You must close the wounds, now," repeated Sil-vanus.
Elaine pulled her fingers together almost like making a fist. The skin smoothed behind her movement. She drew her thumbs over the flesh, leveling the last few imperfections.
"Let me see what you've done, Elaine." Silvanus's voice was careful, gentle, the way you'd talk to a frightened child.
"He's fine," she said.
Thordin encircled her wrists and lifted her hands from the man's neck. The blood ran onto his hands. He knelt, holding Elaine's hands.
"You can let go of me, Thordin."
He looked at Silvanus. The elf had wiped away the blood and was examining Randwulf's neck. "It's perfect." He looked up as if just realizing that Thordin was holding on. "Release her, it is her first major healing. She got carried away. It happens."
Thordin released her. He wiped the blood onto clean snow until his hands were clean.
Elaine knelt, holding her bloody hands in front of her. Blood trickled down her wrists into her sleeves and cooled quickly in the cold air. She rubbed her fingertips together. The sensation of congealing blood squeezing between her fingers was. . interesting. She rubbed her hands together, slowly, studying the feel of it.
"Stop it, stop it!"
She looked up, startled. Jonathan was standing over her, face mottled with anger.
"You are corrupt."
"Jonathan, it is often difficult to control such powers at first. She will do better with practice."
"Practice? She nearly killed the boy."
Silvanus nodded. "But she didn't kill him."
"I saw her face. We all did. She enjoyed it. Look at her, smearing blood on her hands." His face mirrored the disgust in his voice.
Elaine lowered her bloody hands to her lap. Tears tightened her throat. It was hard after all these years. Once, only days ago, Jonathan's opinion had meant more to her than anyone's, even Blaine's. Her brother could be foolish, leading with his heart rather than his head. She'd depended on Jonathan to help her think clearly, to see all sides of a subject. Now she knew there were some sides the great mage-finder didn't want to understand. And one of them, sadly, was her own.
"She has done nothing wrong, Master Ambrose," the wizard said. He was still kneeling on the ground near the elf. The smile was gone from his face. His blue eyes looked harsh and distant as a winter sky.
"I did not say she had."
"Your face said more than your words."
Jonathan turned away, anger making his movements abrupt. Tereza had come up sometime during the healing. Elaine hadn't seen her come. Tereza touched his shoulder, but he pulled away from her. "I cannot change what I am. I cannot."
"Jonathan, please …"
Elaine stood up, leaving both the wizard and her brother's comforting touches behind. "Why do you protest, Tereza? You fear me, too. I saw it in your eyes."
"Elaine, we love you," Tereza said.
"But you still fear me." Tears threatened to close her throat tight. No, no more crying. Blast it all, she was an adult. She didn't need their approval. She wanted it, but didn't need it.
"I know you would never hurt us," Tereza said.
"Do you? Do you really?" She searched the older woman's face, trying to judge the words. Elaine couldn't read her thoughts at that moment and didn't try to. Not out of fear of what she would find out, but out of politeness. If it was rude to eavesdrop, it had to be doubly rude to read another's thoughts without permission.
"The evil is not in the girl," the elf said.
Tereza looked down at him. "We don't think she's evil."
"That's a lie," Elaine said. The tears trailed silently down her cheeks. Tereza's mind had opened to her like a window. She thought that Elaine's burgeoning powers had harmed the man. Tereza knew Elaine hadn't meant to do it, but she had so little control. Images swam in Tereza's mind of the night in the shed over the corpse of the murdered man.
Elaine looked at Jonathan. She riffled his mind like the pages of a book. Distrust, hatred, fear, prejudice. He loved Elaine, but his loathing of all things magic was deeply ingrained. How could he just abandon a lifetime of habit? A habit that had kept him alive and whole.
"I did not harm Randwulf, not on purpose. I have never harmed anyone. I would never harm anyone. I don't even know how to use magic to harm someone." With each word she spoke, she felt the hopelessness of it. They did not believe her. They no longer trusted her. They thought she had tried to kill Randwulf, deliberately. Both of them, it had been their first thought.
"When we go … back," she had almost said home, "from Cortton, I'll leave."
"Mo," Tereza said. She stepped forward, reaching for Elaine.
Elaine held up her hands as if to ward off a blow. "I can read your thoughts. I know what you think of me."
Tereza grabbed her into a fierce hug. "I cannot control my thoughts, Elaine, but do not leave, not like this. Jonathan and I will learn to … It will be all right."
Elaine pushed her to arm's length. "Jonathan and you will learn to what? Tolerate me? Not hate what I'm becoming? Not fear me?" She shook her head and stepped back, out of reach. She turned to the wizard. "If it's all right with you, Gersalius, we could go back to your home. I could live there while you teach me. If that's all right."
She realized for the first time that she should have asked the wizard in private. What if he said no? What if he didn't want her either? She shook her head, fighting not to cry again.
Gersalius stood up, taking her hand in his. "You are most welcome in my house, Elaine Claim, always."
Blaine gripped her shoulder. "Will you have me, as well, Gersalius?"
The wizard raised an eyebrow. "You have some natural calling to animals and plants, but you are no mage."
"I don't come to learn magic. I come to keep you company."
"You are welcome in my home." He glanced at Jonathan and Tereza. "Remember this, that it was not magic that drove them away, but prejudice."
Tereza turned away and walked very fast toward the tents. Jonathan just stood there. He didn't seem to know what to say or even what to do. Elaine had never seen him at such a loss.
"You have commitments, Blaine," Jonathan said at last. Elaine knew what he meant. The brotherhood. She had asked to join, but Jonathan had talked her out of it. She had no knowledge of weaponry, no real way of defending herself. Her visions, though useful, left her sick and bedridden for hours or days. But that had changed.
"If Thordin wants another partner, he can pair with Konrad," Blaine said.
"Konrad's all right, but I don't want another partner," Thordin said. The fighter stood up, half between the three of them, as if he could stop what was about to happen.
"I'm sorry, Thordin," Blaine said.
"And who will be your new partner?" Jonathan asked.
"I will be," Elaine said.
Jonathan turned to her, frowning. "We've discussed this before, Elaine. You are not suited …"
"I had a vision yesterday. I was not bedridden. Gersalius is teaching me to control my powers."
"You still have no way to defend yourself. What if Blaine is not with you? Who will protect you?"