“That was the idea. Late this afternoon.”
“Well, Mrs. Greve came and said she would like to give Wolfe a real Montana trout deal if she had some trout, and they collected some tackle and grub and took off for the river.”
“Including Mr. Wolfe?”
“No, Lily and Diana and Mimi. And Mrs. Greve. Wolfe, I don’t know. I was in my room, but I heard him in the kitchen and the storeroom around ten o’clock, so wherever he is he’s not starving. Beer or coffee?”
I said neither one, thanks, I’d have milk.
We ate our snacks in the kitchen, and he probably thought my mind was wandering, because it was. It wasn’t likely that Wolfe had hiked the three miles to Farnham’s, to harass DuBois and others, but where was he? Worthy said there had been no phone call that he knew of, but he had been in his room. In addition to the Wolfe problem there was the Worthy problem. I had been floundering around for two full weeks and hadn’t got a smell, and now Gil Haight’s alibi was tight as a drum, and there I was having a bite and chatting with a man who had had both means and opportunity. Instead of a sociable chat, what I wanted to say to him was this:
“Since we’re fellow guests I ought to tell you that at my request a man named Saul Panzer, who is better at almost anything than anyone else I know, is working on you in New York. If you ever had any contact there with Philip Brodell, he’ll get it, so you might as well tell me now. I’m going to phone him between six and seven today and every day.”
I had to use will power to keep from saying it. I wanted and needed some action, and I might get some by saying that to him. Of course if I did and there really was something that Saul could find, something good enough, it was more than possible that Worthy would no longer be around when six o’clock came, but then it would be just a chase, and that would suit me fine. But I used will power and vetoed it. Wolfe was paying me, and I was supposed to act on intelligence guided by experience only when he couldn’t be consulted. So Worthy probably thought my mind was wandering.
After doing the dishes, the few we had used, he went to his room and I went outdoors. The question was how well did I know Nero Wolfe? and in two minutes I had answered it. If he had decided to do something desperate like phoning to Lame Horse or Timberburg for a car, or starting off on foot for Farnham’s, he would have left a note for me and he hadn’t. But he hadn’t known when to expect me back from Timberburg, and he would want to know how I had made out with Gil Haight, so he wouldn’t want me to roam around looking for him. Therefore I knew where he was. I went in and changed my shoes and slacks, left by the creek terrace, and started the climb. For the first few hundred yards I went right along, but when I got near the picnic spot I took it easy — not quiet enough to stalk a deer, but easy. The creek was only some thirty feet away from that rock, and along there it was fairly noisy.
He wasn’t on the rock, but his coat and vest were, and a book, and a knapsack. He wasn’t in sight. I advanced to the edge of the creek bank, which sloped down a little steep ten or twelve rocky feet in August, and there he was, perched on a boulder surrounded by water dancing along, his pants rolled up above his knees, his feet in the water, and the sleeves of his yellow shirt rolled up.
I said, raising my voice above the creek’s noise, “You’ll freeze your toes.”
His head turned. “When did you get back?”
“Half an hour ago. I ate something and came straight here. Where are your cuff links?”
“In my coat pocket.”
I went to the rock, lifted the coat, and found them in the right-hand pocket. Those two Muso emeralds, bigger than robin eggs, had once been in the earrings of a female who had later died and left them to Wolfe in her will. Only a year ago a man had offered him thirty-five grand for them, and I didn’t want that to be added to the cost of his getting me back to New York. I put them in my pocket, and as I put his coat down I noticed that the book was The First Circle, by Alexander Solzhenitsyn. Not the one about Indians. I went back to the rim of the bank and said, “I met a woman who could tell you all about red men, especially the tribes west of the Mississippi River. Incidentally, she gave Gil Haight’s alibi two good legs and a coat of feathers.”
“Meaning?”
“Forget him.”
He slid his feet around under eight inches of fast water, moved them right and left and out and back, feeling for a good spot, got upright, and faced the bank. Knowing how easy it was to take a tumble walking those loose rocks of all sizes, not only in the fast water where you couldn’t see them but even on the dry bank where you could, I made it five to one that he would go down. But he didn’t. He made it to a big flat slab of granite halfway up the bank, where he had left his shoes and socks, sat, and said, “Report.”
“When you’re up here out of danger.”
“I can’t put my socks on until the sun dries and warms my feet.”
“You should have brought a towel.” I sat, on the lip of the bank. “Verbatim?”
“If you still have the knack.”
I reported. First the brief exchanges with the Haights, including Gil’s signed statement, which I read, and then Bessie Boughton. I was a little rusty on word-for-word recall, having had no practice since June, and it was a pleasure to get back into the swing of it. By the time I got to the tar and feathers it was coming as smooth as a tape recorder, though the conditions were unprecedented. I had never before reported with him sitting on a slab of granite barefooted, wiggling his toes.
“So,” I said, “if we get a replacement for Harvey it won’t be Gilbert Haight. She has covered him good to half past four. It’s possible, better than possible, that she tells it like it was — I beg your pardon, as it was — but even if she’s a damn liar she’s a good one, and any jury would take it hook, line, and feathers. But that’s not the point because no jury will ever hear it. The point is Jessup. You said he’s an ass, but is he a double-breasted ass?”
“No.”
“Then we forget Gil.”
“Confound it, yes.”
He reached for his socks and shoes, put them on, kept a hand on the granite slab while he got erect with a solid footing, and came on up. I didn’t offer a hand because he wouldn’t have taken it, and anyway the more exercise he got the better. As he rolled his pants and sleeves down I got the cuff links from my pocket, and of course I had to put them in; he couldn’t very well show at the cabin with his cuffs flapping. Not him. Then he went to the rock and got his vest and put it on, and his coat, sat, and said, “What is a real Montana trout deal?”
“That’s a good question,” I said, “and I’m sorry you asked it.” I went and sat on the other rock. “It depends on who’s cooking it, and when and where. The first real Montana trout deal — that is, the first one cooked by a paleface — was probably at the time of the Lewis and Clark Expedition, fried on a campfire in a rusty pan in buffalo grease, with salt if they had any left. Since then there have been hundreds of versions, depending on what was handy. There’s an old-timer in a hardware store in Timberburg who says that for the real thing you rub bacon grease on a piece of brown wrapping paper, wrap it around the trout, with the head and tail on and plenty of salt and pepper, and put it in the oven of a camp stove as hot as you can get it. The time depends on the size of the trout. Mrs. Greve got her version from an uncle of hers who was probably inspired by what he had left at the tail end of a packing-in trip. She has changed two details: she uses aluminum foil instead of wrapping paper, and the oven of her electric range instead of a camp stove. It’s very simple. Put a thin slice of ham about three inches wide on a piece of foil, sprinkle some brown sugar on it and a few little scraps of onion, and a few drops of Worcestershire sauce. Lay the trout on it, scraped and gutted but with the head and tail on, and salt it. Repeat the brown sugar and onion and Worcestershire, wrap the foil around it close, and put it in a hot oven. If some of the trout are eight or nine inches and others are fourteen or so, the timing is a problem. Serve them in the foil.”