His soul takes charge of kneading my breasts like they’re the most beautiful things he’s ever seen. It’s invigorating, never knowing the soul’s next move and whether he’ll bring me pleasure or pain.
His soul places a firm hand on my hip, lowering me further down. I fall forward onto the shadow’s chest, bewildered by the fact that I can’t see the soul at all and just the blankets beneath him.
Letum’s strokes on my clit become more precise, shorter. Sharper. My impending orgasm shatters through me, and I spasm around him. Just as he planned, the muscles in my core relax, letting me drop further down.
Inch by blissful and painful inch, I moan as I stretch more than I thought was humanly possible.
The world around me disappears, and all I can focus on is the fact that he’s finally taking me. Slowly, I ride back up his length just to drop back down as low as I can take him. With every descent, I take more of him. Just when I think that I’ve done all the stretching I can possibly do, the tip of Letum’s cock pushes against my other opening.
“I’m claiming every inch of your mortal body. Next, I’m claiming your soul,” Letum growls before taking my ass just as he promised he would.
Blood rushes from my head. His intrusion stings, but I’ve never felt so full. My eyes close and the feeling of being stretched and filled intensifies.
At once, they start their slow movements that will make me unravel completely. I can’t even bring myself to moan, too lost in the feeling of them to know which way is up and which is down.
Clearly, my silence wasn’t a good enough response because a thick finger rubs against my sensitive flesh, skyrocketing my desire. I scream out Letum’s name as an onslaught of pleasure rips through my body, and I keep screaming as they fuck me ruthlessly, completely forgetting about the fact that I have neighbors.
“You’re so beautiful,” Letum purrs as they slam into me, increasing their speed. “Your body is mine.” With a vicious thrust, Letum roars, spilling his seed into me. I try to focus on his soul and whether he spilled into me as well. While Letum softens inside of me, his soul remains completely hard.
Exhaustion weighs my limbs as I try to keep upright and stop my body from spasming as my orgasm fades away.
Letum and the soul pull out of me slowly, and I whimper at the profound emptiness. All the lights in my apartment turn off, blanketing the room in complete darkness so that I can only make out Letum’s silhouette.
His soul’s monstrous hands wrap around my hips and ease me onto the bed next to him, and the blankets immediately become damp with my sweat and wet hair.
The bed tips for a second, and I can only assume that Letum’s soul is returning to his body. A wet cloth appears out of nowhere, and he wipes me down with it, taking extra care between my legs and my backside, then pats me dry with another towel.
Without really thinking anything through, I let him move me around like a puppet. Pulling my underwear up my legs because he seems to know that I hate being without it. Then he gets me to sit up so he can pull my arms through the holes of a fluffy robe that I’m certain I don’t own. A comb seems to appear in his hand, and he brushes the wet hair off my face like I do after every shower.
Everything he’s done from the shower to tucking me into bed with him pressed against my back made me forget about the pain of the last three weeks. The loneliness. The abandonment. Now it hits me like lightning, and I can think of nothing else.
“You left me,” I whisper when the silence becomes as heavy as the weight on my chest.
“It destroyed me to do so, my love,” he says against my hair. My heart aches for him, just as it does for me. I know that it was a necessary evil. “You still need more time.”
My eyes burn, and a single tear falls onto the pillow. Being so emotional is much more taxing than being a medicated zombie.
“You’re leaving me again?” My words come out stuttered and weak. I don’t want him to know how much I missed him—how much I miss him even though he’s right there—but the fact that he returns the sentiment and suffers like I am makes me feel slightly better.
“Not tonight.” He hugs me tighter, and I wrap my hands around his arm reassuring myself that he’s real. “Tonight, it’s just you and me. I’m so proud of you, my love. You have come so far.”
For once, I can’t help thinking that I’m proud of myself too.
Chapter twelve
Lilith
I was hoping that Letum lied to me and he wouldn’t leave me like he said he would. It was wishful thinking, but as far as I can tell, he has never told me a single lie.
It has been three months since I’ve seen him. However, I wake up every day and find a flower lying on the pillow next to me. It’s a different type of the same flower each time: Asiatic lily, oriental lily, calla lily, daylily, madonna lily, tiger lily. I must say I’ve become an expert on all things lilies now, and I try to keep each flower alive as long as possible. I would much rather find him next to me or at least a note. I miss seeing his cursive writing and the combination of fear and excitement that hits me whenever I’d see one of his letters.
He’s letting me travel this path alone, but he’s constantly reminding me that he’s a step behind me to stop me from falling over the edge of the cliff. Only now, his form of support isn’t just solely emotional.
He may be death, but he’s doing a lot to keep me alive.
A month ago, one of the floorboards lifted, and I kept tripping over it. Then, one day it was like it never even happened. Two weeks ago, I had some kind of infection, so Letum left antibiotics. Three days ago, I drove to work on a flat tire because I couldn’t afford to miss my shift. After work, I found the wheel as good as new. The kitchen stool with the missing screw can now be safely sat on without risk of injury. Not to mention that the damage caused to my bathroom was repaired when I woke up in an empty bed the next day.
I’ve been back to see Dahlia and my parents almost every day. It’s rather depressing that my closest friend is a corpse that can’t talk back. Still, I like to imagine she’s there sitting next to me, judging me, but loving me all the same.
I even visited Evan’s gravesite. Though I didn’t have many words for him, except the three that mattered: I forgive you.
I used to think that I was sorry, that I should have apologized to him for the situation we ended up in.
If Letum taught me anything, it is that there are two people in almost every relationship. Even if they’re polar opposites, it’ll work if they truly want it to work.
Maybe Evan did want it to work. Maybe I did too. We were so caught up in trying to pick up our own broken pieces that we didn’t realize some of our shards were in the other person’s hands. But everytime we shatter, we’re bound to lose pieces. We forgot that we’d worked faster if we put the pieces back together as a team. Instead, Letum has been the one nudging me whenever a piece has gone astray. He’s the one keeping me afloat on a sinking ship.
This time, I’ll do what’s right and put in the effort.
I pull my phone out of my bag—my new bag from Letum—then close my locker behind me and begin to type.
Me: I had a thought today (surprising, I know). If I had to guess, you’d order a short black coffee. And every few weeks you’ll add sugar just to keep things interesting.
Me: Also, I’m not sure if you saw it this morning. I drove past a border collie that looked exactly like the puppy I had as a teenager. He had two different colored eyes, one black, and one blue. Rafe never listened to any order unless you had a treat.