I hate skirts, Macho thought, wondering if this was Ensign Shane Duncan. As she drew closer, Macho could read, with her 20/17 vision, the black nametag over the right uniform pocket above the ensign’s full bosom: DUNCAN.
Oh, no, Macho thought, before she walked up and extended her hand. “Ensign Duncan, hi, I’m Lieutenant Jay Gee Tiffany Roark. Welcome to the Firebirds of VFA-16.”
Startled by Macho’s informal appearance, Duncan stopped and returned her handshake. “Hi! I’m Shane Duncan! Nice to meet you, ma’am!”
Macho cringed, and quickly corrected her. “Look, it’s Tiffany—Macho—and cut the ma’am thing. Lieutenants and below are all JOs, all first-name basis. Even the hinge-heads go by call signs, but it’s smart to throw a sir or a ma’am in there once in a while.”
“I’m sorry, please forgive me… and I’m sorry but what is a hinge-head?” Shane asked, looking crushed as if she had blown her only chance for a good first impression.
“Relax, for crying out loud. You’re the Fung, and you have a lot to learn. Six months ago I was the Fung, and someone showed me the ropes. Hinge-heads are the department head lieutenant commanders who nod up and down enthusiastically at anything the CO says.”
“Fung?” Shane asked.
Macho realized this “kid” really was wet behind the ears. However, she looked like an Amazon goddess, and should have exuded confidence, but she was more like little Bambi than Wonder Woman. That’s it, she thought, we have Wonder Woman!
“F-N-G. Frickin’ New Guy. That’s you until we get you a call sign.”
“Oh,” Shane replied uncomfortably, not sure she liked the F in FNG.
They got her luggage off the carousel, and Macho was impressed Shane could lug her sea bag as well as any guy. Hell, she was bigger than her fellow pilot, Ghost. Walking to the car, Macho asked, “Where you from?”
“Pocatello, Idaho. Graduated from the University of Idaho last spring with my commission, and I came here straight from Intel School. I’m really excited to be in a strike squadron!”
“Strike Fighter squadron, dearie.” Does this chick know anything? Macho wondered.
Macho pulled onto the main road while Shane sat in the passenger seat. Fascinated by the flora and fauna of St. Thomas, she commented with excitement about everything she saw. As they climbed the narrow switchback roads above the city, Macho stole glances at her new squadronmate. Shane sat demurely with hands folded on her lap, a faint smile on her lips as she marveled at the sights. The understated makeup on her peaches-and-cream complexion highlighted her deep blue eyes, almost hidden by big glasses. Her brunette hair was professionally pinned in place according to uniform regulation. Shane was a big girl, and she was built. Simply put, the newest addition to VFA-16 was a bombshell, even in her summer white uniform. And Macho didn’t see any rings on her fingers.
Macho did not fear female competition from Shane. After six months in the squadron, Trench and his sidekick, Coach, had established themselves as near mortal enemies, but her fellow nuggets were like kid brothers. None of the junior officers in Carrier Air Wing SIX was of interest to her, but she instinctively knew any attention she had hoped to receive from them would now be superseded by the arrival of Wonder Woman. Then it dawned on her — the squadron thinks Ensign Shane Duncan is a guy, a geeky intel guy they can abuse. Were they ever in for a surprise.
“Look!” Shane exclaimed as they drove along the summit, which offered a magnificent view of the harbor roadstead. “Is that the carrier?”
Macho glanced at the ship and answered her. “Yep. Coral Maru, all 100,000 tons of her. And I think she is the only carrier around here.”
“Goodness! A real carrier! I’ve never seen one except in pictures! Oh, Tiffany, this is so exciting!” Shane was almost beside herself in excitement, sharing this moment with her new-found sister. Macho, giving in to a dark impulse, decided to have some fun at the FNG’s expense.
“Yes! And wait till you meet the guys! You’ll love them! True officers and gentlemen who open doors for us and pull out chairs for us in the wardroom! Our XO is a woman. And one of the hinge-heads, I mean department heads, is a woman, too. She goes by Olive. The guys absolutely adore us, and we have so much fun together! And they are all McDreamy!”
Shane squealed and hunched her shoulders together. “Ohhh, I can’t wait to meet everyone!”
“Yes, and they treat us like the ladies we are. Now, mind you, we are a working squadron. The pilots are going to depend on you to teach us about the enemy order of battle and what the bad guys are up to. The Firebirds are a team, and we need you to be a contributing part of it.”
Shane’s big eyes became serious, and she nodded emphatically. “Oh, I will! You can depend on me!”
They pulled into the resort parking lot, and Macho led Shane to the admin as she lugged her sea bag up the steps. Mercifully, her CO was up and dressed in shorts and a polo shirt. Wilson stood as they entered, and Macho introduced him to his newest officer.
“Skipper, allow me to present Ensign Shane Duncan.”
“Welcome aboard, Shane. Jim Wilson,” Wilson extended his hand.
“Thank you, sir!” Shane gushed. “I’m honored to be here!” Wilson immediately noted her height and the fact that he had to look up to her. Because the others were lounging at the pool or sunning on the beach, they were the only three people in the condo
Wilson led them to the sitting area and motioned both women to have a seat. Macho relaxed and crossed her ankle over her knee like a man. Shane sat up straight with her back off the chair, eyes locked on her new CO.
“Please tell me about yourself,” Wilson began.
“Well… I’m from Pocatello, Idaho, and I was in Navy ROTC at the University of Idaho. My grandfather served in Vietnam on a cruiser, and I loved his stories of exotic ports and the romance of the sea. Here in St. Thomas, I now see what he meant!” she giggled. Macho rolled her eyes. Wilson nodded and smiled, waiting for her to continue.
“Soo… I went into ROTC and was drawn to the Intelligence field. I hope to be able to serve you well and to help the pilots learn about ships and aircraft and air defense systems.”
“I’m sure you will. Do you have other work experience, or is this your first job?”
“Well, I’m Mormon, so I was on a mission trip a few years ago that split up my college studies.”
“Family?” Wilson asked.
“I’m single. My family lives in Pocatello, and we have some relatives in Oregon. I’m the oldest of six: four girls, and the two youngest are twin boys. We dote on those boys!”
Wilson smiled, impressed with Shane’s positive energy. He could also see she was stunningly beautiful. The combination of her striking good looks and innocent naiveté could pose a challenge for her — and his command.
“Again, welcome aboard. You are joining a fleet Hornet squadron, the Firebirds of VFA-16, and we’ve been a winning team since the Vietnam War. Our job is to be ready to deliver credible combat power with no-notice as part of the Carrier Air Wing SIX/Coral Sea team. We fly the FA-18C Hornet strike-fighter, and we employ all manner of weapons against all manner of threats. We deploy anywhere in the world Washington sends us, and we live with strict rules of engagement. And we need you to learn how we employ our aircraft and to prepare our pilots with the latest intelligence and capabilities of any potential adversary, and that includes me.”