Ignoring her discomfort, Kris gazed at her companion. The pain would be there later, but whether Shelby would was something she could only hope for. Her blonde, sleep tousled hair lay splayed across the sheet, and her face was peaceful, bearing none of the worry and concern that had lined it the previous night. She stored away each and every detail as her eyes recorded them. Please let this be the beginning and not the end.
Sighing silently, Kris continued to gaze at the woman she had fallen totally in love with. She knew there was no sense in denying it any longer. What she hadn't figured out was why Shelby seemed to care so much for her, too. I tried to remain distant. She directed her internal conversation to her partner. But you wouldn't let me. You ignored the barriers I put up as if they didn't exist. Why? What did you see? Even when you found out I am an assassin, that didn't deter you. Will you hate me when I tell you who I really am? I'd understand if you do. No matter what you decide, I will always love you.
Kris knew Shelby would hold all the cards after this morning, and whatever decision she made would determine if they had any future or if they immediately parted ways. She continued to question her decision. What right do I have to involve her in this? She's already in much greater danger because of me. I don't know if I can protect her from any repercussions from the Company. Am I being fair to her? Her thoughts tormented her, causing her to vacillate between hope and despair.
Slowly sitting up, Kris doubled over in agony at the effort, her breathing quick and shallow to lessen the toll on her body. She had stiffened up overnight and the agent silently cursed, waiting for the pain to abate.
Shelby woke to see Kris sitting with her arms wrapped around her middle as she leaned forward across her legs, and she winced in sympathy. "Can I help?"
"I'm okay. Just take me a minute to get moving. But, thanks." Kris managed to get out of bed and started down the hallway.
Shelby followed Kris out of the bedroom, then went to the foyer and rummaged through Kris' clothes, pulling out a T-shirt and a pair of jogging shorts. She grabbed a clean pair of underwear and returned to the bathroom. Waiting until she heard the toilet flush, she knocked on the door.
When Kris opened the door, she said, "Here you go. Hope these are all right."
Taking the clothes from Shelby, Kris smiled. "Thanks."
"You're welcome. I'll go start the coffee."
Kris stepped out of the bathtub after a quick shower. Examining the bruises again, she cursed her bad luck. There was no doubt in her mind that Sergei had expedited the request for verification of her information. She couldn't ever remember being in a worse spot. In the past, only her life had been at risk. Now, Shelby and her mother had been drawn into this situation because of her.
Her body protesting every movement, Kris slowly dressed and then looked in the medicine cabinet for the Aleve. She took two, then made her way to the kitchen, joining Shelby at the table.
Kris studied Shelby intently, trying to decide on where to start. She looked into the warm, curious eyes and started speaking in a low, even voice.
"Some things in life we don't have any control over. Like our parents, our economic status when we're children, where we're born, stuff like that."
Shelby nodded, surprised at the comment. She'd expected Kris to just make some shocking revelation and had been prepared for that, not for hearing her share her views on life. "I hear you. I sure wouldn't have chosen Jonathan for a stepfather."
"That's exactly what I mean. As children, we don't have any control over our lives. Remember I told you I attended a boarding school for a couple of years?"
"Yeah..." Shelby smiled, wondering where this was going.
Kris looked into her coffee. It's now or never. Forgetting about her injury, she took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes momentarily until the discomfort abated. "Would you promise me something?"
"If I can. You gotta tell me what it is first."
"No matter what I tell you, will you promise to let me finish before forming any conclusions?"
Suddenly very uneasy, Shelby carefully searched Kris' face. "This is something really bad, isn't it?"
"Yeah, you could say that."
Shelby thought about the decision she'd made to stand by Kris, and that included trusting her. "Okay, I promise."
Kris took a sip of coffee, and plunged in. "That boarding school I went to – it wasn't a boarding school. It was a school for gifted Russian children who were hand selected to be inserted in the United States as moles."
Her eyes widening in shock, Shelby blurted out in disbelief. "You're a Russian agent?" She shoved her chair back, standing up, "I don't believe this!" Shelby shook her head, but the revelation lingered in her mind like a waking nightmare. She desperately needed some space and strode into the living room to harness her roiling emotions. She ran a hand through her hair as her head began throbbing. She had grown to know and love Kris – and trust her. Now she questioned whether she'd ever really known her at all, because essentially everything about the agent was a lie.
Shelby had prepared herself for almost anything, figuring that Kris was involved in something illegal, and had even allowed herself to admit the possibility that it could involve foreign agents. The idea that the operative could be just such an agent, however, was a thought she'd never allowed to see the light of day.
Kris' heart sank as Shelby turned and left the dining room. She didn't blame her. She had just dumped a load of bad news on the younger woman and put her in a very compromising situation. The operative knew Shelby's reaction could've been a lot worse and, now, Kris could only wait and see what her partner decided to do.
She could clearly see the internal battle Shelby was waging and as the silence lengthened, her thoughts became even more anguished. Far more than any worries about her course of action if Shelby refused to help, was her overwhelming fear of losing her friend. Kris could hardly bear to contemplate how empty her life would be again without her.
Shelby gazed out the balcony door for an interminable time as she examined her choices. She knew that logically she shouldn't trust the operative, but there was one truth she clung tightly to. Kris was trustworthy. She'd sensed it from the time she'd met her. Yes, she was a foreign agent, but did that fact change the basic makeup of the woman? Shelby made her decision. No it didn't, and no logic could offer an argument to dispel her belief in that. She made her way back to the kitchen.
Kris gazed at Shelby beseechingly as she returned to the kitchen, silently imploring her to hear her out. She was painfully aware of how much she was asking, and once again questioned her decision to involve Shelby.
The emotional pain in Kris' eyes was palpable, and sighing audibly, Shelby slid back down into her chair, asking rhetorically, "Why did it have to be this?"
"I've asked myself that same question for years." Her thoughts tumultuous, Kris felt the weight of the yoke she'd carried most of her life resting heavily on her shoulders.
I trust you. Now convince me I made the right decision. Trying to quell the doubts raging in her mind, Shelby asked quietly, "When did they activate you?"
"The day I arrived back in the States."
Shelby felt a flicker of hope. "You've never heard from them before now?"
Kris shook her head. "No."
"Talk to me, Kris. And don't leave anything out."
Inwardly sighing with relief, Kris began relating her past. "I was subjected to brainwashing techniques at the school to ensure complete compliance with the program. I resisted for two years, until they told me my mother had died. So I started playing the game, determined to get out of there, and within six months I was placed with two Russian spies already here with a complete set of documentation. They were the aunt and uncle I told you about."