“Can I cut in?” I turn to see a fellow employee, who I’ve become close to lately. Him and his wife have become good friends of mine, in and out of work. Tragger nods and kisses my cheek. He breaks away and Benji cuts in. Benji is older; where I’m in my mid-twenties, he’s in his late-thirties. He doesn’t look it though. Not one bit.
“You look lost,” he says placing a hand on my hip. His wife’s not far behind him and she sees me and winks. She knows how I feel, and probably sent her husband to come rescue me.
“I am,” I say feeling deflated. My father taps Tragger on the shoulder and pulls him in for a hug. Benji sees where I’m looking and turns me so I can’t see them any longer.
“Do you love him? Are you crazy in love with him, Bexley?” he asks. I look into his green eyes and try to stop the tear that wants to fall. I manage a headshake, and he sighs. We stop dancing, and I notice he’s pulled me from the middle of the dance floor and now we’re at the edge.
“You need to tell him. You need to be honest with him. Don’t let this go further. It will hurt, I’m not going to lie, but it all hurts until you meet that one person who takes it all away,” he says glancing at his wife who’s now making her way over to us.
“I don’t think I can,” I manage to say, wiping my sweaty hands on my long gown that thankfully is black.
“You’re stronger than you realize, your heart is just too big. You can’t go through life pleasing everyone, Bexley. Please yourself, do something reckless; fall in love, fall out of love, have your heart broken,” he says grabbing my face kissing my head and then turning to his wife with a smile that’s just for her. Her sad eyes watch me and I know she wants to comfort me. I just can’t let her, I have to do it.
I manage to get the courage to walk over to him. He’s now in a heated conversation with my father. When they spot me, they stop talking, my father leans in and kisses my cheek and walks away. Tragger grabs my hand and pulls me to him. I stand my ground as his face scrunches up.
“We need to talk,” I manage to say in a steady voice.
“Can we talk after the party?” he asks, gesturing to the guests. I shake my head at him and look around to make sure we are by ourselves.
“I can’t do this,” I say pointing between him and myself. He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind and shakes his head.
“Don’t be drastic, Bex,” he says using my nickname.
“I don’t love you like I should. Yes, I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”
He drops my hand and his face turns to shock. I don’t have any other words. He didn’t expect me to say this, I know he didn’t.
“How much have you had to drink?” he asks me, thinking this must be why I’m talking this way.
I shake my head, telling him no. “I’m sorry,” is all I say before I run away from the night and into the cool air. When I take my first breath outside, I somehow feel lighter.
Now it’s time for me to change, to go somewhere new, be someone new. I can do this.
You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.
~Torquato Tasso~
As I walk up the stairs to Ember’s apartment, I stop to wipe the sweat off my forehead that’s slowly dripping down my face. I have a suitcase in each arm, and I’m so ready to let them drop as they’re killing my hands. I left a month after my engagement, having to see him all the time was too much, too much for me to take. I ban those thoughts from my head once I finally reach the third floor. I drop the suitcases in front of what I hope is Ember’s door and knock. There’s no answer the first time, so I knock again. Once I go for my third knock the door swings open wide and Ember stands there in just a towel. She sees me and instantly squeals wrapping her arms around me. I push her back because let’s face it, I stink from the heat and exercise workout those stairs just gave me.
“I can’t believe you’re finally here,” she squeals excitedly. I smile a weak smile and follow her when she walks inside. Looking around her apartment, I take it all in. It’s the first time I’ve been here. I’ve known Ember for quite some time; I met her when she was in college. We hung around different groups, but when we did have one class together, we often ended up being paired up for an assignment. She was so friendly and always talking, she has a vibe about her that just draws you in. You can’t help but not talk to her, listen to her. Even love her, which I do greatly. She decided once she finished her schooling, she was going to move to Los Angeles and start her career in the City of the Stars. I stayed behind and worked in the family business, and I haven’t seen her for over two years. Though we talk at least once a day, even if it’s a just a simple text message. She’s always in my life.
“I can’t believe you just up and left,” she says as we walk into her living room. My arms groan when I move them, and I let them drop back down to my side. Ember’s apartment is very chic. It has red stools at her kitchen bench. I move to the red sofa and take a seat. Her curtains are black, and her appliances are silver. The apartment is not very large, and I look around wondering where I’ll be sleeping. It doesn’t seem big enough to be a two-bedroom apartment. The only door I see is the one she came out of, the other doors are open to the bathroom.
“I had to, I had to just get away,” I say sinking back into the comfortable chair. She looks at me in thought, her head to the side and assessing me for the truth. I shake my head, telling her I don’t want to talk about it. And what I love about her is that she immediately understands.
“Okay, so what do you want to do tomorrow?” she asks changing the subject and taking a seat next to me.
“I need to find a job,” I whine. I’ve never been for a job interview in my life. When I graduated college, I was expected to go straight into the family business. Generations of my family have done the same job all their life. It was expected I would as well, even if that wasn’t my chosen career path. Hell, I could have gone to clown school and it wouldn’t have mattered.
“I’m looking for an assistant,” she says smiling at me.
“You’re kidding?” I ask her in disbelief.
It can’t be that easy, can it?
“Seriously, my workload has gone into overdrive. I need someone who understands me, and I know you know what to do.”
“Oh my God, when can I start?” I ask her with an excited voice.
“Tomorrow?” she asks, smiling brightly.
“Okay, so next question. Where do I sleep?” I ask looking around. She pulls me up by my hand and I stand while she reaches behind me and pulls the couch out into a bed. I smile at her as she walks away, coming back a second later with a blanket and pillow.
“If you plan on staying, we can look for a bigger apartment.”
“I do plan on staying.” I smile while taking my shoes off, and climbing onto the sofa bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow, my eyes shut and I’m in dreamland.
****
I’ve been working with Ember for two weeks now, some of the people I’ve met have me gobsmacked. She really does style to the stars, and the way she is with them I can see why they only come to her. She’s amazing with them and treats them like she does me. No shit and no filter, she tells them if they’re being a diva or if the dress or outfit looks crappy on them.