“Missed me, Pixie?” he asks into my ear. A shiver breaks out over my body and I know I’m instantly covered in goose bumps.
“No,” I tell him.
“Well, I can tell your body has,” he says letting his hands slide lower so they go over my ass. I try to pull away, but he has a hold on me and pulls me back so we’re flush once again.
“I’ve thought of nothing but you, the way you grab my ass, the way your mouth wraps around my cock, the way your pussy loves my dick. Just like you love me. But I’ve also thought of bad things, Bexley, things I would do to you, ways I could make you pay. Ways I could make you scream,” he says that last part so harshly that I try to pull away once again needing some distance from him, but he doesn’t allow it.
“You need a new hobby,” I tell him, bringing my face up so I can see him clearly. His cheekbones are strong, his lips are full. His eyelashes are long over his gorgeous gray eyes.
“Maybe I have found one,” he says anger in his voice.
“She looked great,” I say rolling my eyes at him.
“What? You don’t approve of my date, Bexley? You don’t think she can fuck as good as you?” he says raising an eyebrow in question.
“I don’t care who you fuck, Zeke. Fuck the entire guest list here tonight if you like. I don’t care.”
“You do, though, I know you, Bexley. And you fucking care, no matter how hard you try to put on your I don’t care attitude. I’ve actually wondered how you were a cop when your face shows all your emotions,” he says smiling darkly now.
“Well, I fooled you once before, didn’t I? Had you right where I needed you,” I say smiling devilishly back to him. His smile drops, his lips turn straight.
“Don’t think of me as a fool, Bexley, I’m no fool.”
“Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice…” Before I can finish my sarcastic sentence, he shuts me up with his lips on mine. I don’t kiss him back. I’m no fool, but he doesn’t stop, his lips press harder, and his body becomes harder when he pulls me so there’s no air between us. I manage to yank my mouth free and see him looking at me, with an odd look on his face.
“If you fuck Mika, I’ll kill him,” he says before releasing me and stepping back. He walks off before I can say another word, leaving me standing there watching him as he walks back to his date, who eagerly awaits him like a little puppy. I wonder if I looked that bad when I used to wait for him, when I needed him. Were my eyes dull until he walked back in, did they light up when I saw him? Did my body go from disappointed to excited? I think I know the answer to that, I just don’t want to admit it.
Because no matter how hard I try to tell myself that he was bad for me, that he could not give me what I needed or deserved, he was what I wanted. What my heart craved, what made my body tingle with such delight when a single hand would touch me. What his lips felt like when they finally made contact, and how my body sang for more. But none of it was the same for him, not at first, I don’t think. And that’s when it counted, that’s when I needed that ray of hope. That hope came too late, and even then, I don’t know even to this day if it was real.
I watch as he sits at the table, his eyes trained on me, but his hand crawling up his date’s dress as he watches me watch. The girl tries to act normal, but her eyes and expression give her away. His hand starts moving, and I know what he’s doing, and when I look back up to his eyes on me, I pull a look of disgust before turning around and heading for my table. I walk past Mika on the way and smile politely, which he returns before I take my seat with the bride and groom. They start with the parents doing speeches, then the groomsman follows, the whole time I don’t hear a word that’s being said until Ember kicks me from under the table.
“What’s wrong”? she asks leaning over to whisper in my ear. I shake my head not wanting to put a damper on her day when she gives that look that says ‘tell me or I’ll hurt you.’
“Just Zeke.”
“Sorry, I forgot to warn you that Lance invited him, but I thought you may not care since you broke up with him and all,” she says shrugging her shoulders.
“It’s fine, really,” I tell her forcing a smile. She smiles back and raises her glass of champagne to me indicating I should do the same.
“May you find someone that loves that heart of yours as much as you love theirs, ‘cause baby, that will be a shit load,” she says, then leans over to kiss my cheek before we take a drink. I smile at her and try my hardest not to look at Zeke for the rest of the evening.
Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition.
~Alexander Smith~
I want to hurt her, I want to fuck her, I want to do so many things that are running rampant in my head right now, but I can’t. Now is not the time or the place, the blonde next to me tries grabbing my hand, but I shake her lose. She’s bad, and I didn’t think when I needed a date she’d be this horrific. She hasn’t let go of me the entire night, hasn’t stopped touching me, whispering things to me, dirty things. And with everything she’s said and done, I want nothing more than to get away from her. She’s annoying the living shit out of me. This is why I don’t date, this is why I have a rule, and this is why I fuck them then leave them. None of them are like her, like Bexley. The Bexley I want to hurt then love. The Bexley who’s sitting down drinking and laughing with the men that surround her.
I shouldn’t be looking, shouldn’t engage though it’s too late. Even though I wish I fucking hadn’t, I don’t regret feeling her body that close to mine, or the smell of her, or the taste of her.
I want to destroy her for making me this weak man that pines for a woman who I don’t need nor want, but something I must have. I wonder if I broke her? If I’ve made her less of a woman than she is, would I still want her? Would I be able to finally get her out of my system? To stop fucking my life up?
She laughs loudly from the table she’s sitting at, and I can see four empty glasses in front of her. She’s had quite a bit to drink, more than her usual.
“Why must you stare at her the whole night?” the woman who’s my date for the evening whines in my ear. I look at her and see her bottom lip pucker out. Trying to look cute, but it doesn’t. Just makes her look needy.
“Why don’t you go and get another drink,” I tell her waving her off. She doesn’t listen, I didn’t expect her to either, just hoped that she would.
“You can call me her name if you fuck me right now. There’s a bathroom not far from here,” she purrs in my ear.
“How about you find some man that wants that, go and fuck someone other than me,” I dismiss her, not looking back. I walk straight to where I want to be, against my better judgment. She doesn’t look up when I reach her, she’s talking to Ember, but Ember sees me and smiles and walks away leaving her by herself.
“Come to annoy me some more,” she says then turns to me.