Well, by and by I notice Harry the Horse examining the badge one of the New Jersey guys is wearing, and I also hear Harry asking questions about it, and it seems from what the guy says that anybody wearing such a badge and carrying a certain card can walk in and out of the convention, and no questions asked. Then I hear Harry the Horse speak to the guy as follows:
"Well," Harry says, "I am never in a convention in my life. I only wish I have such a badge," he says, "so I can see how a convention works."
"Why," the guy says, speaking out loud so the others hear him, "this is a terrible state of affairs. Here is a guy who is never in a convention," he says. "Why," he says, "you will have my seat at the morning session while I will be catching up on some sleep, although," the guy says, "the chances are you will find it all very tiresome."
With this the guy unpins the badge on his chest and pins it on Harry the Horse, and furthermore he takes a card out of his pocket and gives it to Harry, and then he calls for more beer, while the other boys commence asking Snooksy and Spanish John and me if we will care to see the convention, too.
Personally, I do not care a whoop about seeing any convention, but the guys are so cordial about the matter that I do not have the heart to say no, so pretty soon there I am wearing a New Jersey badge, while Spanish John has a Massachusetts badge and Snooksy the badge belonging to the guy from Texas.
Also, we have cards saying we are delegates, and are full of instructions how to act and what to answer in case anybody starts asking questions. And now you know how it comes that Snooksy and Harry the Horse and Spanish John and me are sitting in the convention next day, although Spanish John and Snooksy are not doing much sitting, but are wandering around, and afterwards I hear there is some complaint from delegates about losing their leathers containing their return tickets and funds.
Now of course I never have any idea of going to the convention when the guys pin the badges on us, and I have no idea Harry the Horse will even think of such a thing, but nothing will do him but we must go, and he will not listen to my argument that the other delegates from New Jersey will see that we are strictly counterfeit. So there we are, and as it turns out there is great confusion in the convention when we get in, and nobody pays any attention to anybody else, which is a break for us.
In fact, Harry the Horse and me become quite pally with some of the guys around us, especially as Harry remembers before we start for the convention about a case of good beer that Snooksy sends us, and figuring we may need a refreshing dram while sitting in the convention, he slips several of these bottles into his pockets and wraps up several more, and this beer goes very nice indeed when Harry starts passing it about.
Personally I am greatly disappointed in the convention, because it is nothing but a lot of guys and dolls in a large hall, with signs stuck up here and there on sticks, with the names of different states on the signs. A guy up on a big platform is hammering on a table and yelling very loud, and everybody else seems to be yelling, and it strikes me as most undignified, especially as some of the guys start marching up and down the aisles carrying on quite some.
Several of the signs with the names of states on them are being lugged up and down the aisles, and every now and then a new sign bobs up in the procession, and then the racket gets worse than ever. I am about to mention to Harry the Horse that we will be better off in some more quiet spot when I notice him looking toward a sign that says New York on it, and who is sitting in a chair alongside this sign but Miss Maribel Mario, looking very beautiful indeed.
Well, I know enough to know that this sign means that the New York delegates are somewhere around close, and I am wondering if any of my friends from my old hometown are present among them, because by this time I am getting more homesick than somewhat.
Then all of a sudden some of the New York bunch joins the marchers, and a tall, skinny guy reaches for the New York sign with the idea of carrying it on the march.
At this, Miss Maribel Mario stands up on her chair and grabs hold of the sign, and the skinny guy starts to pull and haul with her, trying to get the sign away from her. Personally, I will not give you two cents for a roomful of such signs, but afterward somebody explains to me that the marching up and down the aisles, and the hollering, is a demonstration in favor of some proposition before the convention, such as a candidate, or something else, and in this case it turns out to be something else.
It seems that a state sign in such a procession means that the delegates from this state like the proposition, but it also seems that sometimes the delegates from a state are all split up, and some are by no means in favor of the proposition, and they do not like to see their sign lugged around and about, as it gives a wrong impression. Well, it all sounds like a lot of foolishness to me and most unbecoming of grown guys and dolls, but there the skinny guy is, tugging one way at the New York sign, and there Miss Maribel Mario is, tugging the other way and showing a strength that is most surprising. In fact, she is even money in my book to outtug the skinny guy, when Harry the Horse arrives on the spot and lets go with a neat left hook which connects with the skinny guy's chin.
He drops to the floor all spraddled out, leaving Miss Maribel Mario still standing on the chair with the sign, and anybody can see that she is greatly pleased with Harry the Horse's hook, as she gives him a large smile and speaks as follows:
"Oh," she says, "thank you so much! I am glad to see you are on our side."
Well, just then a short chunky guy makes a reach for the sign, and Harry the Horse lets go another hook, but this one lands on the guy's noggin and only staggers him. Now the marching seems to stop, and one and all commence surging toward Harry the Horse.
Nearly everybody present, including many dolls, seems to be trying to get a pop at Harry, and he is letting punches fly right and left, and doing very well with them indeed. In fact, he has quite a number of guys down when a guy who seems to be about seven feet high and very thick through the chest, comes pushing his way through the crowd.
The big guy is wearing an Illinois badge, and as he pushes through the crowd he speaks as follows: "Let me attend to this matter," he says. Then when he finally gets close enough to Harry, he hauls off and hits the back of Harry's neck and knocks him into the chair on which Miss Maribel Mario is standing. Personally I consider the blow a rabbit punch, which is very illegal, but anybody can see that the big guy is such a guy as is not apt to pay any attention to the rules.
The chair on which Miss Maribel Mario is standing goes down as Harry the Horse hits it, and Miss Maribel Mario goes with it, still holding on to the sign, and as she gets down she lets out a loud scream. She is up at once, however, and she floes not seem to be hurt, but she is very indignant, because she realizes the public must see what kind of underwear she has on when she goes down.
She is holding the sign in both hands as she arises, and at the same time Harry the Horse also comes up, but very weak and staggering, and it is nothing but instinct that causes Harry to reach for his hip pocket, because generally Harry has the old equalizer in his pocket.
But when we arrive in town one of the first things Snooksy tells us is that we must not go around rodded up except when he tells us, as it seems that being rodded up is against the law in Chicago, especially for strangers, so instead of the old equalizer what does Harry find in his hip pocket but a bottle of good beer.
And when Harry finds this bottle of good beer in his hip pocket, he also remembers about another bottle of good beer in the side pocket of his coat, so he outs with both these bottles of good beer, holding one in each hand by the nozzle, and starts waving them around to get a good windup on them before dropping them on some nearby noggins.