Yup, a few sessions of hot sex with Reggie and she would have been on her way, with no strings attached. But it was Jammer she’d gotten entangled with, and there wasn’t going to be anything easy about that.
Back in the cab and on the way to the Dorchester, where they were staying for a night, Callie turned to Jammer. “Are we going to have to talk about what just happened up there?”
He didn’t look at her. “Probably,” he said as the cab pulled up to the front of the hotel. Callie’s phone rang-one of her contacts telling her he couldn’t provide the surface-to-air-missiles or the planes Jammer needed. He’d been her last hope; they would have to deal with Joost.
By the time Callie hung up they were at the registration desk, and it took only a couple of minutes for them to check in and get into their suite.
Once inside, Callie settled herself on one of the plush sofas. Jammer stood by the window and looked out at the busy London traffic below. His face was pensive. Callie didn’t relish any of the coming conversation. It was imperative that he follow her lead with her contacts. His jealousy could have been disastrous for both the mission she was on and his deal with Fuentes.
She was greedy. She wanted both the Ghost and Fuentes.
She rose from the sofa and walked over to where he stood. Still he didn’t turn toward her. Was he chastising himself? Was he wishing he had taken Reggie out? Her emotions tumbled around inside her. She had known this mission would be hard. But now, standing here beside Jammer after being intimate with him on almost every level, it had gotten so damn complicated.
But her anger was mostly at herself for the position she’d put herself in. She should have told Gillian that she was compromised. That she couldn’t separate herself from her emotions and stay focused on what she had to do. Now it was too late; Callie was in too deep.
“What you did was just plain stupid.” She watched him carefully for his reaction. “And, Jammer, I know for a fact you’re not stupid.”
He looked at her, expressionless. “I’m not going to apologize for how I feel, Gina.”
“Not apologize…are you crazy? I don’t want your apology. I want you to make better choices. Reggie is an integral part of my business. I can’t afford to alienate any of my contacts.”
Jammer didn’t respond right away, but went back to gazing out the window.
“Maybe you think I’m small potatoes compared to your boss, the Ghost,” she told him. “Maybe it doesn’t matter to you, but it matters to me.”
He spun to face her, his expression still unreadable. He was so good at that, but she could recognize when his emotions were seething below the surface-Jammer became calm, much too calm. “It matters to me. Anything that concerns you matters to me. That’s the fucking problem.”
“Oh, great. Now I’m the problem. I’m not the one who shoved a gun in Reggie’s face!”
He exploded away from the window and came up to her, his eyes blazing. “Yes, Gina. You are the problem. When we were separated, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Even now that we’re together I know that as soon as this deal is done, we have to part. It messes me up. All right! Is that fine by you if I care? This situation is unbearable. If only I could let you go…”
She wanted to step back-so wanted to have the strength to step back and tell him she didn’t care, that this was nothing but good sex and business. But she couldn’t get the words past her lips.
“I shouldn’t have shoved the gun in his face,” he continued. “The way he looked at you…just pissed me off. It was irrational. Okay, is that what you wanted to hear?”
“He’s a pain in the ass, Jammer. But what you showed me up there in that hotel room was that you didn’t trust me. That pisses me off. I’ve given you no reason to believe that I couldn’t be trusted.”
“No, you haven’t,” he said sincerely.
But it didn’t assuage her anger. “Do you trust me?”
“It’s not that. I said it was irrational. I’m not proud of it, but I’ve got to tell you that I would rather have taken that guy apart with my hands instead of using something as impersonal as a handgun.”
“What am I supposed to do with that, Jammer? It’s certainly not a way I can close this deal. We can either move forward with my contacts-and do it my way-or dissolve this right now and go our separate ways. Your choice.”
She held her breath as he stood there. Without warning, he grabbed her upper arms and dragged her to him. “I want to. Part of me wants to. Then I can stop this madness. I can just get done what I need to get done. But a stronger part of me can’t be without you.”
Her heart twisted at his words and at the anguish in his voice. How deep did his feelings for her run? The agent in her rejoiced that he was so fully under her spell, but the woman in her melted. She totally understood words like madness and irrational, and what he’d meant about this being unbearable.
She also understood the word hopeless.
8
JAMMER STOOD WITH GINA’S soft flesh in his hands and cursed his inability to let this woman go. The promise of her was enough to make him want to just disappear. Just merge into the world’s mass of human population and live the rest of their lives in peace.
But he couldn’t. The dead souls that he had on his conscience wouldn’t ever let him rest until he avenged those deaths, until Fuentes was brought to justice and the world made just a bit safer.
“I need you, Gina.”
“For my contacts?”
“No,” he said huskily.
He took her mouth. Right then. No preamble, no slow lowering of his lips to hers, no choice given. Just a choice made.
The surprise of it kept her motionless, but only for a second. He mentally braced himself for her to shove at him. He’d have expected that. He would have backed away, though it would have cost him. He knew then how well and truly entangled he’d become.
It had never been like this for him. He relied on instinct, on rational thought. Not on emotion and his hard-on. Or his heart. Life wasn’t set up to be fair about those things, and he’d had enough of the unfair part of life.
Then she moaned, just a little guttural sound in the back of her throat. And her hands came up to fist in his hair as she pulled his mouth down even harder on hers. And returned his kiss with every ounce of intensity she had in her.
He realized there was no protecting himself from this. Or from her. And right now, he didn’t want there to be.
But the cold hard facts hadn’t changed. Soon Gina would be only an intense, pleasure-soaked memory.
One he would spend the rest of his days reliving.
She felt too right against him. So Jammer focused on the task at hand and ended the kiss. “Did you have any luck with your other associates? I need to wrap up this shipment.”
Her silence didn’t bode well. Fear and anger rolled through him again. He held her a bit tighter, then let her go.
“Oooh, given your expression and the set of your mouth, we’re going to have another argument.”
“Gina, this isn’t a game. You play it like it is, but it isn’t. Joost is not an option.”
“Then there is no option. You’ll have to call Fuentes and tell him you’ve failed to deliver on your promise.”
Jammer growled in frustration. He was well aware of Gina’s competency and what she was capable of. In fact, she’d be shocked and dismayed by how much he actually knew, thanks to the information he was fed about all the people he came into contact with. It made being the Ghost that much easier and so very, very successful.
But he couldn’t risk his deal with Fuentes. He’d given up too much and worked too hard to get the man on the ropes. He intended to take him down. Once again he debated just severing ties with her, but he had said she could be part of the exchange. Besides, she might be able to soften up Joost and distract him from his animosity toward the Ghost.