Exhaling a less-than-enthusiastic sigh, I head upstairs to get ready for my night out with the Blonde Bitch. We’re going to some hoity-toity restaurant in The Hills and then to some show at the Pantages to “talk” and “get to know each other.”
I have no clue why she cares about my personality—if I’m good enough on the rink, I’m good enough to be signed—but Lawrence set this up as a favor. As much as I sometimes can’t stand my brother, he’s gone out on a limb for me, and I won’t let him down.
As such, it’s time to shower, shave, and hit the road.
And try not to think about Andi. Though she left a temporary dent in my bumper, she left a permanent impression on my mind.
CHAPTER 9
Andi
It’s been another week, and I’ve heard exactly nothing from Ryan Pierce. I suppose crashing into a man’s car will have that effect on a relationship—not that what Ryan and I have between us is a relationship. It’s nothing at all, really.
Although, I did answer the phone once this week for Angela, and I thought I heard his voice. I hung up immediately. It might not be mature, but it was for the best. Our insurance companies can work things out without me getting involved.
In fact, it is best for the city as a whole if I cut off all contact with Ryan Pierce. I nearly totaled one car after a quick glimpse of his abs; if I saw Ryan naked, all of Los Angeles would be in flames. It’s safer if we don’t have contact.
In other news, it has been a promising week for the comedy business! I’ve had gigs more nights than not. I performed at seedy clubs and dark venues where it was probably best my car lacked a bumper, but at least it was something.
I even picked up a part in a movie—a low-budget movie, but the part paid a hundred bucks for the day and offered free food. I went for the food.
“Andi, quit talking to yourself in the mirror!” My dad pounds on the bathroom door at Peretti’s. “We’ve got an order for you.”
I’m not talking to myself; I’m on the phone with the insurance company, speak of the devil. Surprisingly, they’d heard nothing about a car crash between my old clunker and an uber-fancy Ferrari.
I pestered the insurance lady so much she finally huffed off the phone and said she’d review her records. It’s not that I want to pay for an expensive fix on a Ferrari, but I’d rather go in debt over it than have my dad find out.
“I’m coming!” I yell, whispering to the insurance woman that she’ll be hearing from me soon. “One second, I’m waxing my face.”
My dad makes a disgusted noise in his throat and yells at me about improper use of company time. I nod along in the mirror and take a look at my thighs. They might be a little bit skinnier because, for the past week, I’ve been parking the car around the block and running to and from our building every time I have a delivery. I haven’t figured out what to tell my dad about the missing bumper.
My dad’s footsteps march away, and I quickly hit redial. “Hello, Amanda, it’s me again…” I pause as Amanda the insurance lady transfers me at hello.
“Ma’am, as I’ve explained every day for the past week, I will call as soon as I hear something,” Tom says. Tom is the exasperated operator I’ve talked to every other day this week. Tom and I are friends.
“Are you sure? Remember what I told you yesterday—”
“I remember, Andi. I have your name and your number memorized, unfortunately. I know that in the event of a claim, I should not call Mr. Peretti, who is listed on the account. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“Good, yes. Very good.” I nod to myself. “Thanks Tommy.”
“It’s Tom. We’re not friends, Andi. I’ve gone over this with you.”
“Got it.”
“Goodbye, Andi.”
“Bye, Tom.”
My father pounds on the door. “I don’t care if you have a mustache, I hope you clocked out for this, Andi!”
I close my phone and slide out from behind the door. “Dad, we’ve talked about this. When I’m in the bathroom, you have to leave me alone.”
My dad’s thick black hair stands up like a miniature afro. “I would, except you’re missing a very important call. Until you graduate, you’ve gotta listen to me.”
I roll my eyes to the ceiling. I am about to start my last semester of school. I’ll graduate this winter, one semester early, with my degree in accounting. My dad reminds me quite often that if I want to work for the family business and live at home while trying to get a foothold in the comedy industry, I need to be in school. Once I get my degree, I can “try that comic thing” with his blessing. If it doesn’t work, I can be an accountant.
“Delivery, Andi!” Angela saves me from this conversation. “You’re gonna love this one.”
I worm around my dad and lean my arms against the counter. “Cool, where to?”
“Los Feliz.”
I shake my head. “Oh, no. No, no, nope.”
Angela gives a fake pout, and then she lifts up a pizza. It has a smiley face. “Say hello to your new lover boy.”
“I’m sick.” I fake a cough. “Can you please, please go for me?”
My dad shakes his head. “Ryan asked for you. Put a smile on your pretty face and deliver the pizza.”
“I don’t have a pretty face,” I moan. “And how do you know his name?”
“Then find one, somewhere,” Mr. Peretti says. “Borrow Angela’s. Smiles wants his pizza.”
My dad has taken to calling Ryan “Smiles”. Earlier this week, when Ryan hadn’t called in for a few days, Papa Peretti cornered me and asked if I’d done anything to upset our number one customer. I didn’t really lie, I just…dodged the question.
“Gotta go, Dad!” I lean against the counter and try one last attempt to persuade Angela. “Please, please, can you make this one delivery for me?”
“You know I don’t do deliveries,” she said. “Plus, I’ve got three pizzas waiting in the oven. No offense, but if I leave you in charge of them, this place will be burned down by the time I get back.”
“That might be true, but at least we could collect insurance money.”
She shrugs. “It won’t be so bad. Drop it on the front steps and play ding-dong ditch. Say it’s a free pizza. He’s tipped enough for ten free pizzas.”
I nod, thinking maybe she has a point. “Yeah, all right. I think I can do that.”
“But if they’re having sex, don’t ring the doorbell. That’s a real mood killer,” Angela says with a serious expression. “That sort of ding dong ain’t welcome in the heat of the moment.”
“Lovely. Your visuals are really out of this world.”
“And if he opens the door in his undies again, take a picture.”
“No, that’s creepy.”
Angela gives me a skeptical expression. “Right, and hiding in his bushes isn’t.”
“What am I supposed to do, whip out my phone, snap a photo, and say gotcha?”
“God, you need to learn how to be sneaky.”
“I’m not a creep! I don’t need these skills.”
“Oh, you’re a creep, you’re just a bad one.” Angela shoves the pizza toward my chest. “Now go before your dad has an aneurysm.”
I grumble and slink out of the store, beginning my half-mile jaunt to the car. I look longingly at the empty company parking space. Maybe I should talk to Ryan about the car. Maybe we could make some sort of deal where I could clean his toilet or rake his leaves for the next three years in order to work off the damage.
There could be worse things in life. I might catch another glimpse of his abs.
Silver lining, folks.
CHAPTER 10
Andi
“What are you doing?” Ryan opens the door to his brother’s home.
I’m bent over, ass in the air as I arrange the perfect smiley face on the pizza, just how Ryan likes it. I was also preparing to ding-dong ditch my dad’s star client, but I’ve been caught in the act, which defeats the whole ditching part.