"It is surprising to me," Stepan Trofimovich, deeply embarrassed, preached to us then. "Petrusha
c'est une si pauvre tête!
[xxix]
Petrusha, by the way, very soon sent his exact address from Switzerland, so that his money could be sent as usuaclass="underline" therefore he was not entirely an émigré. And now, after spending about four years abroad, he suddenly reappeared in his fatherland and sent word of his imminent arrivaclass="underline" therefore he had not been accused of anything. Moreover, someone had supposedly even taken an interest in him and become his patron. He wrote now from the south of Russia, where he was on a private but important mission for someone and was making arrangements for something. This was all wonderful, but still, how get hold of the remaining seven or eight thousand to make up a decent maximum of the price for the estate? And what if there were an outcry, and instead of that majestic picture it should all wind up in court? Something told Stepan Trofimovich that the sensitive Petrusha would not relinquish his interests. "Why is it, as I've noticed," Stepan Trofimovich once whispered to me at the time, "why is it that all these desperate socialists and communists are at the same time such incredible misers, acquirers, property-lovers, so much so that the more socialist a man is, the further he goes, the more he loves property... why is it? Can that, too, come from sentimentality?" I do not know what truth there is in Stepan Trofimovich's observation; I only know that Petrusha had obtained some information about the sale of the timber and the rest of it, and that Stepan Trofimovich knew he had obtained this information. I also happened to read Petrusha's letters to his father; he wrote extremely rarely, once a year or even less often. But just recently he had sent two letters, almost one after the other, giving notice of his imminent arrival. All his letters were short, dry, consisting only of directives, and as the father and son, ever since Petersburg, had been addressing each other on familiar terms, according to the fashion, Petrusha's letters looked decidedly like those letters of instruction that old-time landowners used to send from the capital to the house-serfs appointed to manage their estates. And now suddenly the eight thousand that would resolve the situation came flying out of Varvara Petrovna's proposal, and with that she let him understand clearly that it could not come flying from anywhere else. Naturally, Stepan Trofimovich accepted.
As soon as she left he sent for me, and locked the door to everyone else for the whole day. Of course, he wept a little; he spoke much and well, got much and badly mixed up, accidentally made a pun and remained pleased with it; then came a slight cholerine—in short, everything took place in due order. After which he brought out a portrait of his little German wife, now twenty years deceased, and began calling to her plaintively: "Will you forgive me?" Generally, he was somehow befuddled. And we had a bit to drink in our grief. Soon, however, he fell fast asleep. Next morning he expertly knotted his tie, dressed with care, and went frequently to look at himself in the mirror. He sprayed perfume on his handkerchief—just a tiny bit, by the way— and then, as soon as he caught sight of Varvara Petrovna through the window, he quickly took another handkerchief and hid the perfumed one under the pillow.
"That's splendid!" Varvara Petrovna praised, after hearing his consent. "A noble determination, first of all, and, second, you've heeded the voice of reason, which you so rarely heed in your private affairs. However, there's no need to rush things," she added, examining the knot of his white tie, "say nothing for the time being, and I will say nothing. It will soon be your birthday; I will come to see you with her. Prepare an evening tea and, please, no wine or appetizers; however, I'll see to everything myself. Invite your friends—you and I will make the selection, however. You may have a talk with her the day before if need be; and during your evening we will not really make an announcement or some sort of betrothal, but simply hint or let it be known without any solemnity. And then in two weeks or so you'll be married, with as little noise as possible ... You both might even go away for a while, right after the ceremony, let's say to Moscow, for instance. Perhaps I'll go with you as well... And, above all, say nothing till then."
Stepan Trofimovich was surprised. He tried to murmur that it was impossible that way, that he must have a talk with the fiancée, but Varvara Petrovna fell upon him irritably:
"And what for? First, it's still possible that nothing will happen..."
"What? Nothing?" the fiancé muttered, now totally flabbergasted.
"Just so. I still have to see... However, everything will be as I've said, and don't worry, I'll prepare her myself. There's no need for you at all. Everything necessary will be said and done, and there's no need of you for that. Why? In what role? Do not come yourself and do not write letters. Not a breath, not a whisper, I beg you. I, too, will say nothing."
She was decidedly unwilling to explain herself and left visibly upset. It seemed she was struck by Stepan Trofimovich's excessive readiness. Alas, he decidedly did not understand his position, and the question had not yet presented itself to him from any other point of view. On the contrary, some new tone emerged, something triumphant and frivolous. He swaggered.
"I like that!" he exclaimed, standing before me and spreading his arms. "Did you hear? She wants to push me so far that I finally will stop wanting it. Because I, too, can lose my patience and... stop wanting it! 'Sit still, there's no need for you to go there'—but why, finally, must I get married? Just because of her ridiculous fantasy? But I am a serious man and may not want to submit to the idle fantasies of a whimsical woman! I have duties towards my son and... towards myself! I am making a sacrifice—does she understand that? Perhaps I agreed because I'm tired of life and it makes no difference to me. But she may provoke me, and then it will make a difference; I will get offended and refuse.
Et enfin, le ridicule
[xxxi]
...What will they say at the club? What will... what will Liputin say? 'It's still possible that nothing will happen'—fancy that! But that's the limit! That's ... I don't know what!
fe suis un forçat, un Badinguet, un
[45]
[xxxii]
And at the same time a certain capricious smugness, something frivolously playful, peeped out through all these plaintive exclamations. In the evening we drank some more.
3: Someone Else's Sins
I
About a week went by, and the affair began to expand itself somewhat.
I will observe in passing that I endured much anguish during this unfortunate week, staying almost constantly at the side of my poor matchmade friend in the quality of his closest confidant. It was mainly shame that oppressed him, though during this week we did not see anyone and sat by ourselves all the time; but he was ashamed even before me, and to such an extent that the more he revealed to me, the more vexed he was with me for it. In his insecurity he suspected that everyone already knew everything, all over town, and was afraid to show himself not only at the club but in his own circle as well. Even for a stroll, to get the necessary exercise, he would go out only at full dusk, when it was already quite dark.