“What kinds of things?” she asked him. She seemed a little dismayed by this whole conversation, and he couldn’t blame her a bit.
“Different ... things. Like when we were on our survival project, I wanted to say something. But we ended up being arrested and sent to Superintendent Vyrek’s office, and by the time I got out, you were already gone.”
“I waited for you to come out,” Felicia corrected him. “But it took so long, and the others were leaving. And then when you did come out, you went the other direction. You didn’t even try to catch up to us.”
“I thought if you wanted me around, you’d wait,” he said. “I guess maybe I was wrong.”
“Maybe,” she echoed, nodding her head.
“And then, on the moon. After that dinner, remember? I wanted to take you out under the stars and tell you then. But you went out with Estresor Fil instead. And after that, it seemed like you two were doing so well together, I didn’t want to get in the way.”
“Estresor Fil is sweet and kind and was gutsy enough to say what she felt,” Felicia told him. “Which you’re a couple of years late with. We’ve had some good times, she and I. We enjoy each other’s company. We like to be together. But what we have isn’t a romance, and it won’t ever be.”
“I thought ...”
“I know what you thought, Will. Or I think I do. I also think you’re emotionally stunted. You don’t know what you want, and once you figure that out you don’t know how to pursue it.”
“I thought we were here to talk about your qualities, not mine,” he said with a weak grin.
“There’s a time for everything, Will,” she shot back. “You’re making me miss my class, I get to tell you how I feel. Fair’s fair.”
“Okay,” Will relented. “Go ahead. Let me have it. I deserve it, I know.”
She took to her feet again, as if this would be easier standing up, and started pacing before him. “Will, you’re a nice guy. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re frequently very sweet. You’re easy to look at. I like you a lot. But you’re so dense sometimes I can’t stand it.”
Will knew he was opening himself up, but he had to ask. “Dense?”
Felicia laughed so hard she actually snorted. Will would have enjoyed it if the sound didn’t make his head hurt so much. When she had composed herself, she wiped a tear away with the back of her hand and stood in front of him. “Look at me, Will. Am I unattractive?”
“Not at all,” he answered truthfully. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known.”
“Do I have any kind of objectionable odor? Any unsanitary or unsightly habits you know of?”
“Besides the snorting thing when you laugh?” he teased. “Of course not.”
“So it’s safe to assume that if I had wanted a boyfriend or a girlfriend during my time here at the Academy, I could probably have had one.”
“I suppose.”
“Especially since I’m not too emotionally naïve to go out and look for one, if that’s what I wanted.”
“You could put it that way,” Will admitted.
“And yet I don’t,” she pointed out.
“No, you don’t seem to. Not if Estresor Fil doesn’t count.”
“She doesn’t count.”
“Then I guess the answer is that you don’t. What was the question again?”
She lowered herself to her knees, now, in front of Will, and put her hands on his knees, looking right into his eyes. “The question, Will Riker, is just how long did you expect me to wait around for you?”
“For me?”
“Did I say ‘dense’?” Felicia asked, smacking his knees with her palms. “I meant impenetrable! The planet’s crust isn’t as thick as you, Riker!”
“Wait,” he said, slowly catching up. “You were waiting for me?”
Felicia covered her face with her hands. “Just don’t ask me why!”
“But that means ... you ...”
She pushed herself up on his knees again, bringing her face level with his. “I’m crazy about you, Will. I always have been. But you kept walling yourself off, closing yourself away from me. You hid from me for, what was it, six months? I would have said something but I knew you weren’t ready. I had to wait until you could make up your own mind, or you’d spend the rest of your life wondering if I’d pushed you into something. I wonder if there’s a Starfleet medal for extreme patience in the face of idiocy.”
A sudden vision of Trinidad clinking glasses with him at the bar flashed into Will’s mind. “Oh, no,” he said. “Speaking of pushing people into things ... oh, no.”
“What is it, Will?”
He held her face between his palms. “I’ve got to find Trinidad Khalil,” he said urgently. “And then I’ve got to go to Saturn.”
“Today? You’re leaving today?”
“If they haven’t left without me,” Will said. “Oh, no.”
“Will, what is it?”
“Just another bad mistake in a whole series of them,” he told her. He pulled her face closer and pressed his lips against hers. He liked the way that felt, a lot, and he did it again. “You’ve waited this long, you can wait a few more days, right?”
“I guess so, Will, but ...”
“I need to go.” He kissed her again, twice, then twice more. “I really need to go.” He kissed her one more time. “I’m going now.”
“Will, if it’s that important,” she said, her lips caught under his, “then you should really go. I’ll be here.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
Will caught Trinidad as he was leaving his room, his duffel packed for the trip to the Saturn base. “Trinidad,” he said, breathlessly. “You can’t do this!”
Trinidad eyed him. “You look awful, Will. What happened to you?”
“I know,” Will assured him. “I slept on a floor. But I feel wonderful.”
“What do you mean, I can’t do this? Last night you were trying to make me think it was my idea. Almost worked, too.”
“Look,” Will said. “There’s a certain diabolical cleverness to the idea. But it’s doomed to fail. Everyone knows you’re not me. Someone would accidentally call you Trinidad in front of the instructors and it would all be over. Or they’d call out ‘Will’ and you’d forget to answer. Or there would be a DNA scan or a retina scan at some point. There are too many ways for it to go wrong, don’t you see? If we got caught—and we would—we’d both be in serious trouble.” Will had had enough close scrapes at the Academy. If a Starfleet officer broke the rules with a good enough reason, that was one thing. But before he actually got into Starfleet, he knew it was important to play it safe—or he might find himself out before he ever got in.
“But ... you wanted it,” Trinidad said. He sounded mournful, and Will was sorry he’d ever brought it up. Trinidad loved to fly more than anything, and this must have seemed like the adventure of a lifetime.
“I know. I would love to stay and see Spock. But I can’t, and you can’t go to Saturn. You’re just third year, though, and already a better pilot than me. You’ll go next year, for sure.”
“You think so?” Trinidad asked, brightening a little.
“Definitely,” Will said. “I know it.”
“Well, if you’re going,” Trinidad suggested, “you’d better hustle. The shuttle’s leaving in twenty minutes.”
Will groaned. He had known it was late, but he hadn’t realized it was that late. “Give me your duffel,” he said.
“What?”
“Your duffel. You don’t need it. We wear the same size uniform. I don’t have time to pack.”
“Are you sure you’ve sobered up?” Trinidad asked him.
“I’m as sober as I need to be,” Will said. “Come on, quick. I need to go.”
Trinidad shrugged and handed over his duffel. “Have a good trip,” he said. “Don’t drink the Aldorian ale.”
“Never again,” Will promised him.
Borrowed duffel in hand, Will turned and dashed toward the lift. Less than twenty minutes to make the shuttle. With every step he ran, his head pounded, like someone opening and closing a vise on it.