"I asked Torres the same four questions I ask all politicians. Your biggest failure? Biggest achievement? Funniest accident? What are your dreams?
Here are his answers:
Failure: I’ve failed to convince Meganesian consortia to dramatically increase investment in fundamental science s . The increase they approved is insufficient . We need our fundamental science to be the most dynamic in the world in order to maintain our strong growth in nuclear power engineering, computer science , and robotics.
Achievements: I will name two. First is the global police surveillance system. Now, all the key settled territories and highways are monitored by terrestrial and satellite webcam s . Video streams are analyzed by computers 24/7 . In case of any suspicious event, t he police receives the alarm in a few seconds. I already mentioned the marine security system, it was created by the previous government. My second achievement is the creation of VECOM, our public system of higher education and distance training. This made it possible to double the number of students, primarily due to the fact that young women do not drop out of the educational process after giving birth.
Illustration: The screenshot of social advertising: a pretty woman with a baby at the laptop monitor. The baby stretches her fingers to the keyboard. The monitor shows the words: “Virtual Education Center Of Meganesia. Join now!”. The subscript reads : "Hey kid, do you want to have a bachelor degree before you learn to walk?”
The funnies incident: international nudist motor rally. The police stopped them for driving without helmets. To solve the problem, I asked the security department to lend them helmets from stock. What I did not realize that the helmets wore insignia of the service. Imagine that?
Illustration: screenshot of a CNN report: twenty nude bikers in colored helmets with the logo of Road Police. Subscript: «Nude police patrols in Meganesia»
What do I dream of? Upturn the travel business, damn me ! How? It's very simple! When it’s winter in Montreal, people want to go to a warm sea. Where to head ? Florida. And if you were in Europe? Egypt then . The trick in the price of the flight. A bit over 3,000 kilometers away from home — and the flight becomes more expensive than the hotel, besides , a few hours in an airplane seat is by itself no fun at all. Two years from now you will fly to Meganesia. For this, you will need to reach the seashore, and take a boat 12 miles from the shore. There, you take off from the sea, and within an hour you are on a Meganesian island. The t icket is 200 pounds round trip. The hotel is no frills, but the price is just £30 per day and it is first row to the ocean, we don’t have other options, really . Oh yes, I forgot: during the trip, you will practically travel to the outer space , cruising at 20 Mach at an altitude of 60 kilometers. It's real!
Insert : a photo of an unusual aircraft, the subscript: Meganesian Starcraft erases distances. Europe — space — Pacific atolls, within 50 minutes. Visit our website for the details .
" T urns out it's not just a publicity stunt — wr ites Jeanne — Torres shared the history of the project. Unmanned cruise missile interceptor was first transformed into a manned attack aircraft of the ocean guard. Based on it, they developed a transport aircraft for rapid deployment of paratroopers. And then Torres came up with a partner to rebrand it into a 20-seat airliner. At one point, I even forgot I’m speaking with a politician and not a businessman. Then I realized: in Meganesia there is no political elite. Not even the concept of a political career. No sacred caste of statesmen we here are so accustomed to take for granted. A man comes to work in the government for 3 years, then returns to his everyday business. For him, government role is something like a n internship for advanced training in conjunction with the chance to explore the world more widely, to see what you're worth, and to demonstrate the ability to tackle real challenges.
In Meganesia, the whole stratum of symbols associated with the government and seen as something sacred has vanished from people's consciousness. Meganesians have a special word — "Off i e" — that refers to any officials or politicians of any country. If you ask about the relationship of Meganesia with the Philippines, you will hear a lot about Filipino traditions, folk medicine , and national cuisine, and nothing on politics. You proceed to ask about the Filipinos, and find yourself in a conversation about specific ethnic Filipinos, of which there are many in Meganesia. You may ask: what about Caroline crisis over maritime boundary? They will say the crisis is not with the Philippians, but with Philippine Offies. Th ere is a huge difference. A Meganesian history textbook says, "1/9/1939 German Offies sent an army to Poland" and "20/09/1941 Japanese Offies sent aircraft to bomb Pearl Harbor." You will not find that one nation attacked another, and captured it, or that a country freed itself from colonial rule another. "In 1950 the British Offies lost control of India" — as it says. Reading this interesting tutorial, I stumbled upon a well-framed definition:
" S tate is a system of open violence against the people, exercised in the interests of oligarchic clans. Oligarchic clans are narrow group s of people which have, by force, bribery , or fraud, assumed unlimited political power and exercise it, allegedly on behalf of the people. The oligarchic clans are distinguished according to their way of assuming power:
1. aristocratic or feudal (armed seizure of power)
2. plutocratic capitalist , or (bribery of the crowd)
3. ochlocratic and theocratic (mass fraud)
P lutocratic and ochlocratic regimes often disguise as democratic. According to the law of the Confederation of Meganesia, any attempt to create a state is considered a particularly severe crime, and is punishable by the supreme measure of humanitarian self-defense."
In search of the meaning of this mysterious phrase, I flipped through the book and found:
"After the proclamation of the Magna Carta, the so-called Batak National Party (NBP) has made an attempt to seize power by force, and to establish a state. This performance was prevented by the army of Convention. 47 NBP leaders appeared before the Supreme Court and were sentenced to the highest degree of humanitarian self-defense : execution."
After that, I realized why our official press opposes Meganesia so aggressively. "The founding fathers" must be uncomfortable to realize their habit of speaking on behalf of the nation could in one day end up with "the highest humanitarian measure of self-defense". Especially as, looking at the clinging to the power of our political elite, this idea does not cause much internal protest.
Of course, I am not so naive as to believe the words of coordinator Torres and a history textbook. Some things should be checked at the face value. I now have in my pocket a ticket and a bright color booklet with photos of the atolls with the words “Welcome to Meganesia”, along with a memo from the US government: "Meganesia, as a country with an extremist political regime, is recognized as particularly unfavorable for tourism. Going there, you are putting your life in danger", Well, the risk is for a noble cause. Read my next report from the capital of Meganesia, three days from now.