“Be safe, sweetheart,” Dad says over Mom’s head.
“I will,” I promise, taking one last look at Mom before I turn and head for the door. I love my family more than anything. Even though I just pushed my mom, I won’t allow myself to feel guilty. I need to live my life even if there’s a risk. I’m doing everything I can to find Paige. If they knew my reason, they would understand.
“Bell.” Jesse stands from the booth in Fireside Bar and waves me over. He wanted to pick me up, but I shot him down very quickly, telling him I would meet him. He didn’t push, but I could tell he wasn’t happy. I thought I’d risk an annoyed Jesse over my mother having a fit.
Taking a steady breath, I navigate myself through the dance floor, pushing past sweaty bodies, and make my way to Jesse. Wiping my hands down my jeans, I pray that my racing heart settles. I don’t know why Jesse makes me so nervous, but I do know there’s something about his bad-boy attitude and happy demeanor that draws me to him. Thinking about it, it’s the way he doesn’t care how people perceive him, or the way he takes any situation and sees everything as a joke. Like he can see the funny side in everything. I wish I could see it like him.
“You made it.” A crooked smile forms and my pulse quickens. It’s the same look he gave me when he pushed his fingers inside of me last week.
Raw.
Wild.
Free.
He’s wearing his Rebels’ cut and a pair of dark-washed jeans, completing his signature look. So simple, but he looks good, too good.
“You think I would’ve stood you up?” I lose my jacket and slide into the booth seat.
“It was fifty-fifty.” He laughs before sliding in next to me. I wasn’t expecting him to follow me in to this side, and all of a sudden, I feel trapped.
“Well, I want to find my sister.”
“Yes, your sister.” He clears his throat, and turns his body back to the table. His change in demeanor confuses me for a second. Did he really expect me to forget about Paige?
“Did you find anything out?” I ask, wondering if this is all for nothing.
“Spoke to my brother. He was a detective on your sister’s case up until last year.”
“Detective Carter?” I ask, shocked for a second. Wow, I didn’t pick up on the connection until now.
“Yeah.” He nods, not looking happy about it.
“You don’t look anything alike.” I compare Jesse’s blond hair and blue eyes to Detective Carter’s dark hair and brown eyes.
“Thank fuck too.” He runs a hand through his messy hair. “He’s an ugly fucker.” I don’t know if he really believes it, but Detective Carter is anything but ugly. “Why are you looking like you don’t agree?” he questions and I almost choke on my answer.
“Well, I wouldn’t call Jackson ugly.” I keep the truth in my answer.
“Jackson? You on a first name basis with all the detectives on your sister’s case or just my brother?” Jesse’s tone changes and his eyes darken while he waits for my answer.
“Well, he was working Paige’s case the first five years. We came to know each other. I was disappointed when he transferred out. Since then, I’ve had nothing. I think if I didn’t go in there once a month and remind them who she is, they’d forget.” I feel myself getting worked up.
“Should I be concerned you’re on first name basis with my brother?”
“I don’t know why it would concern you, Jesse.”
“Because if there’s more to whatever is happening here, then I need to know.”
“What is happening here?” I ask, but he doesn’t respond. “Jesse, the only thing happening here is I’m trying to find my sister.” He keeps quiet, watching me closely. I don’t know what he wants me to say. It’s almost like he’s jealous I know Jackson. Shaking the thought away I hold his stare. “Say something, Jesse.” The silence is too much.
“I want to fuck you, Bell. I’m not going to lie. There’s something about you.” He throws it out there, and just like every time he says something inappropriate to me, my stomach dips in excitement. How can words make me ache for something I have no business wanting?
“Jesse, I want to find my sister. Don’t make me do something I’m not ready for,” I reply, revealing my insecurities.
“I know. Which is why I can’t do this. I shouldn’t have used this against you. I’m sorry for putting this on you, Bell.” He slides out of the booth and stands.
“What? Where are you going?” I ask, panicked when my last chance of finding Paige is slipping away.
“I’m leaving. I shouldn’t have come. I’ll do what I can to help you find Paige. We don’t have to do this.”
“Wait.” The word falls over my lips before I know what I’m saying. He stops when my hand reaches up to his. “I don’t understand,” I stumble a little. What is it with him? I feel like he’s so hot and cold and I’m left dealing with the after effects and can’t catch up.
“You’re a good girl, Bell. I shouldn’t have asked you here.” He shakes his head. “You should go.”
“What if I don’t want to go?” Why I’m asking I don’t know, but my body refuses to get up and leave. Jesse has just given me an out, but the thought of cutting the date short disappoints me.
“You should want to go,” he whispers and I know he’s right, but tonight has been a night of firsts. This is the first time I’m listening to my heart, not my head.
“Why?” I ask, not understanding why he went through all this trouble to get me on a date and not even ten minutes into said date, he’s ready to leave.
“Believe me when I tell you I don’t want to leave, but I should,” he continues, not making sense to me.
“I’d very much like you to stay.” He doesn’t say anything nor does he move to come back to the booth, so I push a little more.
“Please.”
“If you insist, sweetheart.” He slides back in and the butterflies that have been swarming since I agreed to this date flutter and take flight again. I know a man like Jesse Carter is bad news, but I’ve come this far. Why give up so soon?
Nine JESSE
“Oh, my God.” Bell laughs at my stupid joke and I can’t help but laugh along with her. I’ve never wanted to make anyone laugh as much as I do with Bell. It’s been a few hours; we’ve eaten, talked, laughed and I even shared a few stories of my past.
“Do you take anything seriously?” she asks and I stop smiling to weigh her question.
“I spent a long time being serious, Bell.” She stops smiling this time and sits a little straighter.
“I can imagine it must have been hard for you, Jesse,” she says, looking up at me, and for a minute, I worry she can see past it all—the façade I put on for the world—but I know I’m over thinking it. Fuck, I’m not that person anymore. Some might say it would be impossible to call me serious. My father would say I’ve never taken anything seriously in my life, but it’s not the truth. When you’ve lived a life like mine, serious becomes you. I, for one, know what it’s like to stare death in the face, all those past disappointments, past pains, past losses, it all becomes meaningless. You become thankful for the goodness around, you become grateful for the second chances and you see everything in a different light.
“There’s a time and a place for serious, sweetheart,” I say, not prepared to get into it with her tonight. Our date, if you would call it that, has been anything but serious, and now is not the time to head down that path.
“You’re a puzzle, Jesse. You really are.” She takes a sip of her soda and I hold back my smile. When we ordered, I expected her to order some fancy chick drink, but she informed me she doesn’t drink alcohol. I don’t know why it pleases me, but it does. Maybe because she is just different from what I’m used to. It might make me a hypocrite but I don’t give a fuck. Dealing with someone who drinks and changes under the influence gets under my skin.