“We need to play this game again,” Bell announces, and both the girls nod in agreement.
“Yes, we should. Next club BBQ.” Holly nods, even more excited to bring Bell in to the mix.
I push down the knot forming in my stomach at watching Bell sit and interact with my family. My club.
“Kelly, you ready?” Brooks calls out from the kitchen breaking up their laughter.
“I’ve been summoned. I’ll speak to you later.” Kelly stands, says her goodbyes then walks back inside.
“We should head out too. Mom and Dad probably need a break from babysitting.” Holly stands and gathers some beer bottles.
“Pretty sure your mom would adopt X if she could.” Sy stands and follows his wife around the table, picking up empty bottles with her.
“Yeah, you’re right. Okay, let’s stop for a quickie then. Night, guys.” Holly throws the bottles in the trash and takes Sy’s hand, pulling him inside.
“Night, guys.” Bell laughs, then gazes back to me. “You ready to go?”
“Yeah. You want me to take you home, or you wanna come back to the clubhouse?” I decide to give her an out. The dimple in her right cheek deepens at my question before she answers.
“Clubhouse. It’s late and I don’t have to be at work until tomorrow night.”
“Your parents okay with that?” I ask, further impressed by her attempt to step out of her parents’ hold. When I got the text earlier, I thought she was fucking with me. The last few weeks I’ve been pushing her to quit sneaking around, our opinions differing. Me not understanding her idea of protecting her parents, and she not understanding my concern with how unhealthy it seems.
It did worry me that she was allowing herself to open up more to me, when I wasn’t giving her anything in return, but I couldn’t think about that now. Now, I was just enjoying what we had. I would worry about the other stuff later.
“I already texted Mom. She was a little worried, but I told her you would take care of me.” She shrugs like it’s no big deal, but I know for her and her parents this is kind of huge.
“Good answer.” I stand and hold my hand out to her. She doesn’t hesitate, placing her hand in mine. I pull her up and crash my mouth to hers. She opens instantly and I don’t waste time. My tongue skirts along her lips, eager to taste her. Her hands move to my cut, grabbing me roughly and pulling me in so our bodies press against each other.
“Hmmm.” She releases a little moan when my hands move to her ass, my dick jumping at her whimper.
Needing more, but not wanting to take her here, I break the kiss.
“What if I chose home?” She pulls back and teases.
“Then I’d have to tie you to my bed.” Her lips part at my threat, before slowly creeping their way into a slow smile. “You like the sound of that.” I accuse, feeling my own grin grow wide, and my dick throbs even harder. Oh, the things I could do.
“I didn’t say that.” She steps back, lowering her brows.
“You didn’t have to, baby. I can tell you now, if I put my hands down your pants, you’d be wet with the thought.” The flush that creeps across her cheeks is enough to tell me I’m right. I don’t give her a chance to deny it; instead, I bend at the waist, place my shoulder to her stomach and lift her off her feet.
“Come on, or Nix might kick my ass for taking you on his back deck.” I start to move back inside, eager to get her out of here and back into my bed.
“Put me down. You can’t tie me up.” She hits me on my back.
“Shh, baby. I promise you’ll enjoy it.” She doesn’t reply, and my dick hardens.
Fuck me, the ride home just got uncomfortable, in the best kind of way.
“Fucking stay with me. I’m not going to let you die, Conner.”
I wake up to the heat of someone’s palm against my shoulder. Twisting around, my hand moves faster than my brain, and I snatch it off me.
“Jesse, it’s me, Bell,” she rushes out before I can take it any further.
“Fuck.” I release my grip on her arm and sit up, forcing myself back to the here and now.
“Did I hurt you?” I reach for her arm searching for any sign of a mark left by me.
“It’s fine. You barely touched me.” She holds her arm out letting me inspect it. I check it over one more time before releasing her and relaxing.
“You wanna talk about it?” I study her face, eyes calm, soft mouth. She’s not freaking out.
“Just some shit that visits my dreams sometimes, nothing that needs to touch you,” I reply, shocked I’m not retreating.
“I don’t mind, Jesse,” she pushes, and I almost cave. Almost.
“The last thing I want to do is talk about this shit, Bell.” She doesn’t argue or press, and I’m grateful for it. I don’t think I’d be able to keep my cool if she did.
“Come back to sleep.” She lies back down and I follow her. She doesn’t ask me any more questions, or make me feel like I need to tell her everything.
“That ever happens again, don’t wake me,” I warn. A menacing thought strikes through me picturing what could have happened if I didn’t wake in time. She’s lucky I didn’t hurt her, like the last time a woman touched me while I had a nightmare.
“You don’t always have to be so brave, Jesse.” Her hand moves to my dog tags. I don’t stop her. I’m starting to like the feeling of her hands touching them.
“Never tried to be, Bell. But talking doesn’t help me. Never has.” I think back to the time when I did try and it forced me out of control. Talking about those triggers only amplified my insecurities. When death sits afar, mocking you in the dangerous confines of your surroundings, it fucks with your head; nothing was going to change it.
Besides, my issues weren’t what I had done. They were what I had survived. My conscience wasn’t clear and my honor wasn’t clean.
“Promise me you won’t touch me.” I keep my tone even, controlled.
“I promise.” I take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips. Maybe one day I will let someone in. Let her in.
Today isn’t that day.
But today, I didn’t push her away.
That has to count for something.
Twenty-Eight BELL
“Bell, we have a glass wound. Need your help. Bay three.” Rebecca, a fellow nurse rushes past me as I finish up with cleaning a nasty graze a five-year-old earned when she fell off her bike.
“Coming,” I call out, ripping my disposable gloves off and dropping them in the nearest trash can. “Okay Mrs. Penn, the doctor will be in soon to assess that cut under Lara’s chin.” I turn my head and smile down at my little patient.
“Will I get a lollipop?” Her lip wobbles, but she doesn’t let the tears come.
Learning from past experiences, I turn back to her mom to make sure she’s allowed candy. She nods, giving me the okay. “Of course, you keep being fearless and I’ll tell Dr. Benson just how brave you are.” Her small grin grows wide and she turns to her mom in excitement.
“Sit tight.” I nod, then quickly duck out and make my way down to bay three.
Tonight’s shift in the ER has been crazy. One after another, we’ve been hit with cuts, breaks, falls, even fights. I was meant to finish my shift two hours ago, but with the way the night is going, I know there is no hope until we can clear some beds.
“Bell, I need you,” Rebecca calls again and I race the rest of the way. Pulling the curtain back, I take in the scene.
“What the fuck are you standing there for? Get this fucking thing out of me so I can get gone.” A big, burly man sitting on the bed curses. A large piece of glass is embedded into the top of his shoulder, protruding through his leather jacket.
“If you don’t calm down, sir, we’ll have to call security,” Rebecca warns, holding a pair of scissors.