From what I have heard of his wretched poetry, he cannot depend upon his skill with a harp to make his way in the world."
Clare heard the grim conviction in Gareth's voice. It effectively forestalled the remainder of her angry tirade. "You know whereof you speak, do you not, my lord?"
"Aye. Tis true that unlike young Dalian, I had the advantage of being raised in my father's household.
But I am still a bastard, for all of that, and nothing can change the fact. A man bom into this world without a name must make his own."
The chill in his words told Clare a great deal. Gareth may indeed have been raised in his father's house, but he had never felt welcome there.
At least she had always had Desire, she thought. Even through the worst of times she had always had a home. She had had a place where people wanted her and needed her, a place where she knew she belonged.
She resisted an odd, almost overpowering urge to touch Gareth's fierce jaw and tell him that he now had a home, too. She knew he would not welcome the sympathy.
"I appreciate your concern for my minstrel, but Dalian is safe enough here on Desire." she said briskly.
"Is he?"
"Of course he is. And so is William. There has never been any violence on this isle. No one has ever had to defend the hall or the village. The only reason we need a company of armed men at all is to protect the shipments we send elsewhere."
Gareth's mouth tightened. "I am well aware that you view my role here as a very limited one. But as it is my task to protect this isle, you must allow me to make the decisions that deal with such matters."
Clare slanted him an uncertain glance. She wondered if she had somehow offended him. "Surely you do not need William's or Dalian's assistance for the defense of Desire."
"As to that, who can say? I believe in being prepared for all eventualities."
"Aye, but?"
"Come, Clare. Be reasonable. Young William needs exercise. He is in immediate danger of either being smothered to death by his well-meaning mother or of turning into a stuffed pork pie."
Clare knew he was right, but she could hardly admit it. To do so would be to abandon her present battle. "I do not dispute that William needs more physical activity," she managed austerely. "However?"
"He also craves a man's guidance. So does Dalian."
That was too much. "I am aware that young William has become Sir Ulrich's shadow of late, but Dalian has been quite content in this household."
"Too much so." Gareth looked thoughtful. "I believe your minstrel clings to your skirts and starts at every small sound because he has been badly frightened by his previous master. To combat that fear, he must gain confidence in his own ability to defend himself."
Clare gave Gareth a disgruntled look. He had assessed the situation accurately, confirming some of her own conclusions.
But there was another, much more significant issue involved here, Clare knew. It had to do with the question of who gave the orders on the manor.
"I will not deny that William and Dalian could do with a man's guidance," Clare said cautiously. "And I agree that exercise is of great benefit in restoring balance to the body's humors. But there is no need for either boy to undergo the dangerous and rigorous training of a knight in order to accomplish that."
"They will be safe enough under Ulrich's supervision."
"Joanna will fret."
"She will soon adjust to the situation. That is not the real issue here, is it?"
"Nay." Clare came to a halt and swung around to confront him. "Let us be clear on something here, my lord. I will make the decisions that affect the members of this household."
Gareth's gaze was as fathomless as the crystal in his sword. "I comprehend that you have had the sole responsibility for this household and this manor for a long time, Clare."
"Aye." She eyed him with frosty challenge.
"You are obviously accustomed to bearing the burden alone."
"Precisely."
"But you are no longer alone."
"There is no need to remind me of that fact," she retorted. "I am only too well aware of it."
Gareth's brows rose. "You were the one who wrote to Thurston of Landry to request a husband who could provide protection for your manor."
"What of it? I had little choice in the matter."
"My point is that you have got what you asked for, madam."
"Not quite."
"Aye, that is true enough, is it not? You have made it plain that I do not meet all the requirements of your damned recipe."
Clare badly wished she had not let her tongue run away with her. "I did not mean that the way it sounded, sir."
"Aye, you did mean it. But it matters not. Few of us get exactly what we want." Gareth rested his hand on the hilt of his sword. "We must all make the most of whatever the winds of fortune blow our way."
Likely she was not the sort of wife he had dreamed of marrying, Clare thought. "My lord, I am trying to make another point entirely here."
"As am I, madam. To be blunt, I may not be what you ordered, but I am the only husband you have got. Allow me to perform my tasks without interference."
"What has training Dalian or William got to do with the defense of this manor?"
"Clare," Joanna called.
Clare glanced toward the workrooms. Joanna left the doorway of the drying shed and hurried across the courtyard.
"You must stop them," Joanna said urgently. "William is still playing with that dangerous sword."
"I will deal with this," Gareth said quietly.
"She is my friend," Clare said. "I shall deal with it."
"As your husband and as the lord of this manor, I must ask that you stand with me on this, madam." Gareth's gaze was suddenly very cold and very unyielding. "I warn you, for the sake of all concerned, do not gainsay me in front of Joanna."
"By Saint Hermione's hair, this is too much."
"If you and do not appear united in our decisions, we will cause confusion and discontent among our people. Do you want that?"
Our people.
The words brought Clare up short. She had to accept that the people of Desire were linked to Gareth now. She knew he was right when he insisted that as lord and lady of the manor, the two of them must stand together.
"You have caught me in yet another of your crafty snares, my lord," she muttered a few seconds before Joanna reached them. "Beware. One day I shall have my revenge."
"You have already had your revenge. And a most telling vengeance it is.
I am a husband who has not yet had a wedding night."
She threw him a quelling glance as Joanna fluttered anxiously to a halt in front of them.
"Clare, why did you not instruct Ulrich to cease the training?" Joanna asked. "William could be hurt at any moment. Just look at the way he is swinging that great wooden sword about."
Clare steeled herself. "Lord Gareth feels that such training will be good for both William and Dalian.
My lord and I have discussed the matter and I have concluded that he is right. I agree with his decision."
"You agree with him?" Joanna's eyes widened in shock.
Clare did not dare look at Gareth. If he smiled in triumph at that moment, she was not at all certain that she would be able to keep from throttling him.
"Rest assured that I have given my approval for William and Dalian to be taught knightly skills," Clare said. "As a form of healthful exercise," she added quickly.
"But you have never approved of such activities, not even for the sake of health," Joanna said. "After Edmund was killed, you told me that you never wanted to hear the sound of a lance striking a quintain again as long as you lived."
Clare winced. "I was distraught at the time."
"The grief my lady wife must have experienced at the time of her brother's death no doubt prevented her taking an objective view of the benefits of exercise," Gareth said easily.