Heat spread through her, catching hurtfully in her stomach. “No, Lucian. You are ignoring the danger of the curse. We can’t have a real marriage. If I came to care for you, you would die.”
His seductive mouth twisted. “I don’t believe that, love.”
“Lucian-”
His fingers pressed against her lips, hushing her. “I am willing to risk it. Curse or no curse, I’m done fighting you.”
He gave her a heart-ravaging smile, and Brynn felt herself melt inside. Her gaze dropped from his beautiful mouth to his bare chest, rippling with muscle in the candlelight. How could she resist that elegantly chiseled face, that hard, lean, graceful body? How could she resist his tenderness? How could she not resist?
She could feel herself dangerously softening toward Lucian. This tender, vulnerable side of him was so beguiling. It was too easy to care for him, too difficult to withstand his male allure. Her heart was too susceptible. If she let down her guard, she could go too far…
His thumb slowly stroked her lip, heightening her turmoil. “Don’t fight me any longer, Brynn…”
She felt his touch like flame, her senses had become so painfully acute. In desperation, Brynn glanced toward the door that separated their apartments, contemplating escape.
She heard Lucian’s quiet sigh, as if he realized he had gone too far. “You needn’t decide right now, love. I won’t press you.”
Gratefully Brynn started to sit up, intending to return to her own rooms, but Lucian put an imploring hand on her arm. “Please… don’t go. Stay with me tonight. Help me keep the nightmares at bay.”
She glanced down at him in despair, struggling with her conscience. She shouldn’t risk staying, yet she didn’t want him to suffer those terrible nightmares, either.
“I won’t assault you, I promise you.” His half smile was wistful, slightly mocking. “Although having you in my bed without touching you will likely be a torment.” When she still hesitated, his voice dropped to a rough whisper. “Stay with me, just for tonight. I need you, Brynn.”
Her heart wrenching at his plea, she lay down again. He leaned across her to snuff out the candle, and darkness instantly enveloped them. Brynn tensed when he drew the sheet up over them both, but at Lucian’s silent urging, she turned over, giving him her back. She lay there stiffly, willing her defenses to remain strong, even as his naked heat warmed her taut body.
“Sweet,” he murmured, nuzzling his face in her hair.
At length, she felt Lucian relax, felt his breathing grow soft and even. Eventually she realized he had fallen asleep holding her.
It was a long, long moment, however, before Brynn could feel the tension begin to drain from her own body. The quiet night was soothing, the darkness deeply sensual-and yet she found sleep impossible. It was painfully arousing, indulging in this closeness with Lucian, listening to his even breathing, his heat and hardness at her back. The physical intimacy only intensified her inner turmoil.
Her heart felt torn by longing. Lucian’s proposal was so tempting. He was offering her something deeper than the cold-blooded compact they had entered. A new start for their relationship. A real marriage. An end to loneliness.
But at what price? His life? How could she dare accept? She would be devastated were Lucian to die. She could never bear the heartbreak, the guilt. She had already begun to care for him too much…
Brynn shut her eyes tightly. Until now she had managed to withstand his powerful magnetism. Angered and hurt by his high-handedness and neglect, she had purposefully nursed her darker feelings to shield herself from her attraction, to protect Lucian from danger. And in truth, nothing had changed.
A sharp feeling of despair coursed through Brynn. She had no business letting herself even contemplate accepting his offer of a deeper relationship. Desires of the heart had no place in her life. She was a fool to be feverishly yearning for the elusive promise of love.
And yet how could she deny the hunger he woke in her? Just now his hand slid upward, nestling possessively on her breast, arousing her even as he slept. A small moan surfaced from deep in Brynn’s throat, and she stirred restlessly, her body craving his heat and strength.
Easing away, she turned over, watching Lucian slumber in the dim moonlight. His masculine beauty was so compelling, even more so with a shadow of stubble darkening his jaw. She longed to reach up and caress his face, to feel the rough texture, so different from her own softness. She longed to press even closer to him, to stop fighting the passion he aroused within her, to surrender to his tempting allure…
An aching sense of sadness filled her as she acknowledged the hopelessness of her longings. She had no choice but to refuse his offer of a real marriage. Perhaps they could indeed end the turbulent dance of anger and defiance that had characterized their union from the first, and she would be grateful for that. But she couldn’t allow any deeper feelings to develop. For her, love would have to remain an unfulfilled dream. She had to keep her distance from him, emotionally at least.
Yet it would be so much easier if she could keep apart physically as well. If they could live separate lives…
Brynn drew an unsteady breath, struggling to bury the tangle of unwanted emotions that knotted inside her. Lucian had promised he would leave her alone if she conceived a child. She could hold him to his word, but first she would have to produce the son he wanted so badly. Only when he gained his heir would he be satisfied enough to let her go her own way.
She could make her escape then. She could demand that he honor his promise.
And if he wanted more than she dared give? Then she would have to drive him away. No matter what her own feelings, she had to protect him.
Renewing her resolve, Brynn let her eyes close. She dozed for a time, but the strangeness of sleeping in an unfamiliar bedchamber, next to the man who was her husband, kept her sleep restless.
Fingers of dawn were filtering beneath the brocade draperies when she came fully awake. She lay there, indulging in the guilty pleasure of watching Lucian, studying the chiseled planes and angles of his beautiful face.
It was still early when he stirred awake. His eyes opened abruptly, fixing on her in startlement. Then recognizing her, he gave her a slow smile. “Are you watching over me, guardian angel?” he asked, his voice a husky rasp.
Embarrassed to be caught staring, Brynn blushed and sat up, giving him her back. This would be hard enough without having to face him directly.
“Thank you for staying with me, love. My dreams were only pleasant ones.”
She felt his hand stroke her back lightly and winced. Clutching the sheet to her breast, she drew her knees up, girding herself for what she would have to say.
“I have been thinking about your offer, Lucian,” she began in a low voice.
There was a brief silence. “And?”
“And I agree it would be good to stop fighting, but… I prefer we adhere to the original terms of our arrangement. You promised you would leave me alone if I gave you an heir.”
“I said that, yes. But I think perhaps our circumstances have changed.” His fingers were warm at her back, distracting her.
“Not really.” Brynn turned to glance down at him. “I never wanted this marriage, and nothing has occurred to convince me otherwise.”
She was watching his face and saw his disappointment before a mask fell over his eyes.
“You said it was my choice,” she reminded him.
“It is,” he replied evenly.
“Well, I would like to keep our relationship strictly business.”
“Because you fear the curse.”
“Primarily.”
Lucian studied her for a moment. “You realize that for you to conceive,” he said finally, “we will have to resume carnal relations?”