“You know what?” he says to his Minions. “Let’s shut it down.”
“We are officially out of the jelly business!”
That night, Tom is dressed in a French maid’s uniform as he vacuums the carpet. There is a ring at the door.
He opens it and quickly backs away as someone throws a bag over his head and abducts him.
Another Minion wearing maid’s clothes comes into the room and finds the vacuum cleaner moving by itself. He’s not sure where Tom went. But he shrugs and goes back to work. The Minion abductions have begun….
The next morning, Agnes and Margo use Gru’s laptop to create a profile for him on a dating website. Edith practices her ninja skills in the background.
Agnes asks, “Are you sure we should be doing this?”
Margo confidently replies, “Yes, it’s for his own good. Okay, we need to choose a picture.”
They go through a series of ridiculous pictures of Gru, each one more awful than the last. The final one is of him in a bathing suit. The girls scream in horror!
Just then, Gru enters the room, excited and proud to tell the girls the news about his job with the AVL. “Good morning, girls! I have an announcement to make.”
But they are more interested in the dating profile. Margo asks, “Hey, what celebrity do you look like?”
Agnes thinks for a second, then says, “Humpty Dumpty!” Gru sees Margo typing. “Wait! What are you doing?!”
Agnes parrots what Margo said earlier. “We’re signing you up for online dating! It’s for your own good!”
Margo gives her a Don’t tell him that! look.
Gru freaks out. “What??? No. No, no, no. No way.” He quickly grabs his laptop from them.
Edith pops down from the ceiling, startling Gru. “Come on, it’s fun.”
Margo continues, “And it’s time for you to get out there.”
But Gru’s not having any of it. “No! No one is getting out there! Ever!” Then he quickly changes the subject. “Okay, now for the announcement: I have a new job. I have been recruited by a top secret agency to go undercover and save the world!”
This gets the girls’ attention. Edith exclaims, “You’re going to be a spy?”
Gru proudly declares, “That’s right, baby! Gru is back in the game! With gadgets and weapons and cool cars… the whole deal.”
Agnes looks up at Gru in awe. “Are you really going to save the world?”
Gru strikes a heroic pose and puts on a pair of cool sunglasses. “Yes. Yes, I am.”
Chapter Four
Gru descends the escalator at the mall with three of his disguised Minions behind him. It doesn’t take long to locate the cupcake shop, which looks like a small fairy-tale cottage with a big, plastic, pink cupcake above the entrance. The sign reads BAKE MY DAY, which immediately makes Gru frown.
“Blech,” he says. But he knows he doesn’t have a choice. This storefront will be his cover while he spies on the other stores in order to find the master criminal lurking within the mall.
Gru unlocks the front door and enters. Once inside, he turns to his Minions and says, “All right. Here is the cupcake recipe I got off the Internet.”
The Minions excitedly grab the recipe and head for the kitchen.
“And don’t go nuts with the sprinkles!” Gru yells after them.
Gru takes a look around and sees a bunny cupcake in a glass dish. Next to it is a shark cupcake. And next to that is Lucy!
Gru screams, which startles Lucy and causes her to jump up and hit her head on one of the shelves. All the cupcakes go flying! Using incredibly complex martial arts moves, Lucy dispatches the cupcakes as they come toward her.
She successfully destroys all the cupcakes, then turns to Gru, out of breath. “Whoa! Wasn’t expecting that.” She strikes a martial arts pose. “Or was I?” she adds mysteriously.
Then she sees that Gru has a cupcake stuck to the top of his head—frosting side down.
“Oh… you got a little… here let me…,” begins Lucy. She tries to clean it up, but as she wipes away a glob of frosting, she just ends up spreading it more.
“STOP IT!” Gru finally explodes.
Lucy is surprised by his outburst. “Oh! I’ll let you get it.”
Gru wipes the frosting off his face.
“What you just saw there was a little something new I’ve been working on,” Lucy explains. “It’s a combination of jujitsu, Krav Maga, Aztec warfare, and krumping. It is not pretty, but it gets the job done.”
“Well, the next time I’m a victim of a cupcake attack, I will know who to call,” says Gru, slightly annoyed.
Lucy stares him down. “You know, I could rip your heart out of your chest and show it to you if I wanted to,” she says defiantly. “I saw it in a movie once, and it looked pretty easy.” She holds up her fist and pretends a throbbing heart is inside it.
“Okay, that’s… weird,” says Gru, then changes the subject. “Why are you here?”
“On assignment from Silas,” explains Lucy. “I’m your new partner. Yay!”
“What?! No, no ‘yay’! Ramsbottom didn’t say anything about a partner.”
Lucy shrugs. “Well, seems that because of your checkered past, everyone else refused to work with you. But not me. I stepped up. And I’m new, so I kind of have to do what they tell me, anyway.”
Gru is about to respond when Dave the Minion comes out of the kitchen. He is carrying a cupcake shaped like a Minion.
“Voilà!” he says.
With lightning-quick reflexes, Lucy smashes the cupcake, flips Dave into the air, and pins him to the counter. “Do you know this guy?” she asks Gru.
Gru stares at her in shock. “Yes, he’s one of my Minions.”
Lucy gasps. “Oh, I’m sorry! I should have known.” She releases Dave. “You’re free to go.”
Dave stares at Lucy. He is instantly smitten. A magical glow appears around Lucy as Dave falls in love and imagines their future life together.
Gru’s voice interrupts Dave’s daydream fantasy. “Earth to Dave! You can leave now.”
Dave goes back into the kitchen, never taking his eyes off Lucy.
Once he’s gone, Lucy turns excitedly to Gru. “All right! Let’s see who’s got the purple stuff,” she says. “Isn’t it great? Secret spy stuff! Don’t you love your job? Oh, this is going to be fun!”
Gru doesn’t want to work with a partner, let alone Lucy. His only response is a sarcastic “Yippee.”
Chapter Five
A little while later, Gru and Lucy stare at a video screen from a hidden monitor inside the cupcake shop. They operate a camera that telescopes out of the cherry on the giant cupcake sign in front of the shop.
“A little to the left,” Lucy instructs. Gru moves the camera to the left until he stops on an innocent-looking woman at a flower shop. “Okay, first suspect: Hedda Blumentoft, proprietor of Mum’s the Word Floral Shop.”
Gru takes one look and replies, “No, not her.”
Lucy moves the camera to the next suspect: a small, perky man holding an empty teddy-bear skin. “That’s Chuck Kinney, owner of Stuff-A-Pet.”
They watch as he shoves the teddy bear’s butt onto a metal tube. The bear inflates until it explodes into a torrent of bearskin and stuffing. Gru dismisses him. “I don’t think so.”
The camera moves again and lands on a short Asian man wearing a ridiculous blond wig. “Next, Floyd Eaglesan, owner of the Eagle Hair Club.”
She pushes a button, and the camera zooms in on Floyd. He is standing in front of his store, waving hello to passing shoppers.
Gru jokes, “His only crime is that wig, right?” Even though Floyd looks harmless, Lucy senses that he must be hiding something. “There he is! Twisted little sicko…”