"I'm glad to hear it."
"Yes. Bear in mind, however, anything I suggest is qualified by the assumption that we are, well, where we were, for lack of any better way to phrase it."
"I think you may safely assume that, Mr. Bradford," said Matt. "Our charts of this area are pathetic. Some actually date from the eighteenth century. Depths were all wrong even before . . . Anyway, I don't think there's ever been a proper survey unless the Dutch did one. That being said, there's enough agreement over landmarks and positions that we know to be accurate that I don't think there's any question we are, as you put it, where we were."
Sandra set the brush on the table and ran her fingers through her stilldamp hair. She spoke for the first time and her lip quivered slightly. "That still leaves the question we've all been avoiding." There was a trace of bitterness in her voice. "What happened? I wish someone would think of something, even if it's wrong. It's driving me nuts, and I'm coping well compared to some. Ensign Theimer won't even come out of the cabin. Nobody wants to talk about it! I know everyone's afraid"—she looked at Matt with eyes reflecting a strange mix of accusation, respect . . . and something else—"even you, Captain. But everyone just keeps going as if nothing unusual's happened at all."
Matt smiled a sad, gentle smile. "Thank God they do, Lieutenant Tucker. You're right. We are scared. And between the three of us in this room," he confessed woodenly, "I'm more scared than anybody. But we'll continue to do our duty because we have to. It's all we've got to hang on to and it's our only hope to survive."
Bradford shifted uncomfortably and Sandra covered her face with her hands for a moment, but nodded. "Of course, Captain. I'm sorry. I'm just . . . tired." She looked up and her eyes were rimmed with red. "This crew—everyone—is exhausted, but I've just about emptied the dispensary of sleeping pills."
Matt's eyes narrowed, but she quickly dispelled his concern with a flick of her wrist, and the corner of her mouth quirked upward. "Oh, don't worry. There weren't many on board to start with and it's not an epidemic. I made it sound worse than it is. If the truth were known, half these guys would conk out if you gave them a chair to sit on in front of a firing squad." She shook her head with genuine admiration. "It beats me how most stay so calm." She frowned. "Not all have, though, and some you'd think have dealt with it really haven't." She sighed. "Like me, I guess. It's like a nightmare, or some H. G. Wells or Sir Arthur Conan Doyle novel."
"Well," said Matt, "since the charts are correct, that eliminates The Time Machine, according to you, Mr. Bradford. Also, there's the matter of furry people with tails on ships bigger than the Hornet. That leaves The Lost World our most likely scenario." Sandra looked at him, surprised that he'd read those works.
"Actually," said Courtney Bradford, "I think you're both wrong."
"So what do you think?" asked Matt with a half smile.
Bradford looked solemn. "I don't know yet. I expect an epiphany once we've done more than just sail about. The water looks quite the same as before, you know." There was a hint of accusation in his tone.
"Quite the same except for the fish," said Sandra dryly.
Bradford bowed his head to her, conceding the point. "Indeed." He paused and looked down at the table, then glanced at them both. "Have you ever considered how your life might have been if you'd done something different? What a monumental impact some choice or deed can have on the rest of your life? Captain, what if you hadn't joined the Navy? What would you be like today? Would you even be the same person? Some people think, if they think about it at all, that they'd be the same, just doing something different. I disagree. I believe it's our actions, as well as the context and environment in which those actions take place, that make us what we are. But what if? What if your mother had never met your father? Your grandmother, your grandfather? What if the United States had lost its revolutionary war? What if the Roman Empire had never fallen—or never existed? What would the world be like today? Would it be much the same, except for that one small thing?"
Neither Matt nor Sandra answered. Matt just looked at him with a tired, speculative expression. Sandra's face wore no expression at all, but the clenching muscles in her jaw betrayed a growing tension.
"I think the world would be entirely different," Bradford continued quietly, "and the more distance between the moment of change and the present, the more profound the differences would be."
"I've . . . studied history a little," Matt said self-consciously. "I've often wondered `what if ' about a lot of things. I suppose every historian does, whether they admit it or not. What if the South had won the Battle of Gettysburg, for example, or that Serb hadn't shot the archduke of Austria? Things might've been different. Maybe a lot different." He looked at the Australian. "What's that got to do with anything?"
"Maybe nothing," said Courtney Bradford in a cryptic, falsely cheerful tone. "Maybe everything."
The sun rose sharp and fierce in a cloudless sky. The storm, if it could be called that, was over, leaving only a slight chop as Walker eased back into the gap between Bali and Menjangan Island. All through the night they'd searched but found no sign of Mahan, and everyone harbored a forlorn hope they'd find her where they left her. Matt considered it possible, even likely, that if Jim couldn't nurse his ship all the way to their rendezvous, he'd bring her back here, thinking it the first place Matt would look. Unfortunately, when they cleared the shoals and nosed into their previous anchorage, they were disappointed.
Bali remained a clear reminder that they were lost to the world they knew, its shores still teeming with unlikely creatures and its unterraced coastline a vast, panoramic plain broken by copses of unfamiliar palmlike trees. Again the crew lined the rails to stare. Unlike the sea—normally a destroyerman's natural element, but now one that inspired dread—the land seemed populated by comparatively pastoral creatures. They all remembered the lizard that bit Leo Davis and made him so sick, but that was on Menjangan Island. Maybe they weren't on Bali. The pygmy "brontosauruses" and other apparent herbivores browsed, cowlike, in full view and in broad daylight, seemingly content and unafraid of predators.
They crept closer. The outdated charts showed plenty of water, but Matt figured two hundred yards was close enough, and they dropped the hook once more. He peered at the shore and Courtney Bradford already had his "own" binoculars up. Matt wasn't sure whose they'd originally been, but possession being what it was, he doubted the owner would get them back. He shook his head with a little grin.
"Lieutenant Dowden, you have the deck. We'll remain here for the day and hopefully Mahan'll show up. Double lookouts at all times. I'm not really worried about Japs anymore, but anchored, we can't maneuver. I think we've had enough surprises for a while. In the meantime, you'll plot a course for Surabaya. If Mahan doesn't show by dusk, we'll proceed there." He looked at Bradford and saw the desolate expression. His grin returned. "Mr. Bradford, Mr. Letts, and a small party will accompany me ashore. Have Campeti break out Springfields, sidearms, and ammunition for a party of eight. Hmm, better make that ten pistols, and throw in a tommy gun and one of the BARs. We'll leave two men and the Thompson with the boat."
He studied the contrast between Bradford's excited happiness and Lieutenant Dowden's horror. He chuckled. "Don't worry, Larry, we won't wander off. In fact, I don't intend to leave sight of the ship. It's time we saw face-to-face what we're up against. But if we get in over our heads, be ready to blow the hell out of anything we can't handle. Understood?"