“Pretty serious,” I admitted. “I’m not sure where we’re going, but I won’t give her up without a fight.”
Silence fell between us. I held his eyes steadily, refusing to soften what I’d just said or back down.
“I’ll need you to talk to the others,” he said finally. “Explain your relationship with her, including your plans and how they differ from the original arrangement. I won’t have this used against me. Of course, that kills any hope you have for leadership, at least for now.”
“I understand.”
Yeah, I understood. But it hurt.
“There’s some good that can come of this, though,” Burke said thoughtfully. “I’ll have you talk about Hayes’s reaction, explain why it reinforces the cartel theory. We’ve got hotheads pushing for retaliation against the Reapers. They don’t want to believe the cartel has the reach to pull off an attack like this.”
“So you think it was the cartel?”
“I’m certain of it,” he said, his voice grim. “I’ve met the Reapers’ president, Shade. He’s a good man. This isn’t his style. The others don’t want to accept that, though. They’d rather blame another MC than admit we’re really at war with the cartel.”
I nodded, because he was right. Fighting the Reapers was weirdly safe, almost comfortable in a strange way. We all knew the rules and what to expect from each other.
“Like I said, this pretty much kills any chance you have to go higher in the Jacks,” Burke continued. “So you’ll stay in Portland. At some point I’d like to see a true chapter started there, assuming we can get the Reapers to sign off on it. Deke’s still pretty pissed at us over his niece, and I’m sure the Toke situation didn’t help things. That happens, you’ll have another shot at leadership. Until then, I’ll still expect you to be available for delicate assignments. You’ll have to get a regular job, though. I’ll make sure you still get a bounty when it’s warranted, but the others won’t tolerate a man on payroll who’s sleeping with the enemy. And they’re still the enemy, at least in most minds. We clear?”
I thought about Em and nodded. She was worth the sacrifice—assuming things worked out. Shit … This was happening too fast. Something must have crossed my face, because Burke paused.
“How sure are you of this girl?” he asked.
I considered the question, reluctant to answer. Would’ve been nice to pin Em down, spend a little more time together first …
“Not as sure as I’d like,” I admitted finally. “I mean, we don’t have anything arranged formally, and her dad hates me. All her people do. But she stood up for me last night, so that’s something—even told her father we were together. That means I’ve got a shot, and God hates a coward.”
Burke snorted.
“You’re an idiot,” he said flatly. “Believe it or not, I can understand giving things up for a woman. I really can. But giving away everything for a girl you barely know? I’m saying this as someone who cares about you—you’re a fuckwit. You’re lucky I need you to convince the others the Reapers aren’t behind this attack. We don’t save this truce, the cartel’s already won.”
“Hope they listen,” I murmured.
“Won’t hurt that you’re throwing everything away to tell them,” Burke said offhandedly. “Of course, your judgment is obviously fucked, so it balances out.”
I shrugged.
“Can I ask a question?” I said. Burke was the closest thing I had to a father, but I was all too aware that I didn’t really know him at all.
“You can ask,” he said.
“If it wasn’t for what happened last night—if you didn’t need me to convince the club it wasn’t the Reapers—would you still let me have her?”
Burke laughed, but there wasn’t any humor in his voice.
“Romeo and Juliet died, son. Consider that all the answer you need.”
Chapter Fourteen
EM
Kit finally called at four in the morning.
“What the hell is going on?” she demanded, and for once there wasn’t a hint of playfulness or laughter in her voice. “I just saw my phone—there’s about a hundred messages here. I want to know what I’m getting into before I get hold of Dad. Do you think I should wait a couple hours to make the call, when he’s awake?”
“Definitely don’t wait until later,” I told her, keeping my voice low. The house was crawling with people, and I didn’t want to wake anyone up if I didn’t have to. We were all exhausted. “Someone tried to shoot Shade last night in Boise. Swinger is dead. Not only that, they shot up some of the clubhouses, including Portland. Everyone’s been scared you were kidnapped or murdered or something.”
“Oh my God. I’m calling Dad right now.”
She hung up on me, and I flopped back down on my bed, throwing an arm over my eyes. What a clusterfuck. Ten minutes later my phone rang again.
“You were with Hunter last night!?” Kit demanded, her voice incredulous. “Dad says he brought you home. What the hell is going on? It’s like the world turned upside down while I was getting laid.”
“Yeah, I was with Hunter.”
“You want to give me the details on that?”
“I’m not sure even I know the details. We had sex, but before we could talk about anything our phones blew up and everything fell apart. He took me home and then left. Hopefully I’ll hear from him today.”
“I hate to say this, but have you considered he might be playing you again?” she asked quietly. “I know I’m the one who dragged you over to his place last weekend … But I didn’t think there was any danger then. Now people are dying. This is bad shit, Em, and Dad says the Devil’s Jacks could be behind it. He wants us to come home.”
“Hunter’s not playing me,” I said firmly. “You didn’t see how he reacted last night—totally shocked. Someone tried to kill their president, too. He’s dead now, along with another Jack. They got hit worse than we did.”
“Sweet baby Jesus on a stick. That’s fucked up.”
Hard to argue.
“Where are you?” I asked. “I’m assuming Dad told you to come to Cookie’s place? I guess this is where we’re holing up for now. The Portland clubhouse had some water damage. Nobody got hurt, but one of the bullets burst a pipe, of all things. Weird.”
“Deke’s sending someone for me right now. Not sure whether I’ll make it back up to school tomorrow or not. Dad wants to arrange some kind of family emergency leave or something. Next week is Thanksgiving break, so that’ll give me a little breathing room. I was planning on driving over on the Wednesday before, but even if I head back to school, I’ll leave the minute classes end. I know it isn’t like me, but I want to be with Dad, Em. This is scary shit, and I don’t like the idea of him alone.”
I snorted.
“Dad is never alone.”
“You know what I mean,” she replied. “He’s always had you to keep an eye on him. I know he’s a big bad MC president, but we both know how lonely he gets. Why do you think he drags home all those losers to sleep with?”
“Because he’s horny,” I said, my tone flat. Sometimes the truth isn’t pretty. “I’m not going back. I just got away from him for the first time in years, and he’ll use this as an excuse to try and keep us there. You know he will.”
“You’re not a slave, you know. You can leave whenever you want.”
“Or I can just stay here. They weren’t shooting at women, and if it’s safe enough for Cookie, it’s safe enough for me. I’d rather stay in Portland and keep moving forward. I’m not going to take stupid risks, but I’m not getting locked away forever, either.”
“You’re letting hormones cloud your brain,” she said bluntly. “This is about Hunter. But he’s just a guy, Em, and there are millions more all over the country. A dick is a dick.”
“It isn’t just about Hunter, Kit. Okay, I’ll admit, maybe it’s a little about him. But I also fought hard to get out. I’m not like you—I’m not independent and strong … If I go home, I might just stay, and I don’t want that.”