That calmed her slightly. “Chance is here?”
“He came with me to rescue you.”
She scowled at me. “No offense, but this is the worst rescue ever. You waited for them to bring me to you and you seem to be in the midst of a coup.”
“I’m doing what I must,” I said.
A tense silence resulted while we waited. To his credit, Chance arrived quickly. The consort greeted her with a half hug, and she clung to him as if to convince herself that we couldn’t both be evil shape-shifters.
“You’re safe,” he said. “Greydusk said they wouldn’t dare hurt you, if they intended to use you to make amends, but it must’ve been terrifying.”
Her head jerked in a quick nod. At once, I wanted to level the Dohan compound; they were the ones who used her as bait. But I couldn’t afford to make such a drastic move until after my first court. I needed to assess how many castes would throw in with me and how many would support the Saremon. At this point I couldn’t satisfy my personal desire for retribution; it could wait until I consolidated my power. I had a long memory.
“Let’s go somewhere more comfortable to talk.” I gestured to the throne room, which had been designed to intimidate.
“Agreed.” A shiver ran through her, but she followed me toward the study, which was smaller and more intimate.
I chose a seat in the grouping of chairs away from the desk. These furnishings had been taken directly from a Saremon warehouse. Hard not to take pleasure in that. More to the point, this should help set Shannon at ease. I didn’t expect her to take the news well, but she would come around.
After we all settled, I ordered refreshments. Chance sat beside me, his knee pressed against mine. I took more comfort than I should in his presence. I’d monitor this attachment to ensure it didn’t become problematic. Once the food and drink arrived, I summarized the situation for her.
“She’s kidding.” Her gaze cut to Chance, begging another explanation.
“Unfortunately, no.” He was no more pleased about my ascension than Shannon was.
Their reactions puzzled me. Why didn’t they want a better life? “Things are unsettled at the moment, but once I get the city in hand, it will be magnificent.”
Shannon gaped at me. “So that’s it. You’re not even going to try to leave?”
“Do you know how they opened the gate to get us here?” I asked softly.
“I wasn’t exactly in a position to check out the process, no.”
“They destroyed a human soul to get you here, Shannon. And then another, when I followed. Do you know what that means?”
“Oh, shit.” She grasped the heart of the matter right away. I felt a flicker of guilt at manipulating her this way, since the destruction of a human soul was not, in fact, why I was staying. “So to go home, we’d have to do it again.”
“Yes,” I said quietly. “No afterlife. No reincarnation. Just fuel for the gate. I’m not doing that again. I didn’t know before, when I came through. I do now.”
“So you figured while you’re here, why not make the best of it?” She tried a smile, but her heart was breaking.
It had just dawned on her. No more dreams. No Jesse. Nothing but Sheol and Xibalba until the day she died.
“I’m sorry. Ultimately I’m the reason you’re here. And I wouldn’t have chosen this for you.”
“Well, you didn’t choose it either. You only came because of me—and that means a lot. Obviously I’m not okay with sacrificing some poor bastard either, just so I can go to college and have some kids someday.”
I nodded. The human half of me had understood she would feel this way. I’d used that awareness shamelessly, and by Chance’s expression, he knew. But he didn’t comment on my management of the situation. He only stared at his hands.
Shannon went on. “I only wish there was some way for me to get word to Jesse. I’m not sure if you knew this, but he’s got major emotional damage.”
She went on to tell me things I didn’t care about, like how he didn’t trust himself because he could be swayed by other people’s emotional states and how he feared he’d never fall in love for real, just spend his life in a depressing spiral of serial monogamy. But I listened because I felt I should at least pretend to be like the woman she remembered, even if that person—at best—was only able to whisper from the back of my head. Eventually, she ran out of words and then she cried. I put an arm around her and Chance stroked her hair.
Finally she said, “Thanks for letting me get that out. It’s been a really shitty few weeks.”
“For us too,” Chance murmured.
Shannon nodded. “I guess nobody sets out to get trapped in hell.”
“Do you have a moment, my queen?” Greydusk stood at the study door, bearing some papers I needed to sign.
“Of course.” I read them over before scrawling my signature where he indicated—not that I didn’t trust him, but in all honesty, I didn’t. I trusted no one. That was what it meant to rule.
Shannon talked with Chance while we did our business, and then I performed more introductions. “Greydusk, this is Shannon Cheney. You are to treat her with all royal consideration.”
At first she recoiled, but I hoped she would get used to my second and eventually not view him as a monster. Things were different in Xibalba, and the sooner she accepted it, the happier she would be. Perhaps, in time, I could arrange a marital alliance with the Luren. Shannon would certainly find one of their males physically appealing, and I could appease Sybella with the offering. I had broken our agreement, but I wished her luck in enforcing a bargain that had been made, technically speaking, with a person who no longer existed.
For the remainder of the day, I put aside all business and spent time with Shannon. She ate, bathed, changed her clothes, and then I showed her the palace and grounds. Once the tour ended, I enlisted her help in decorating private rooms that had been passed over in favor of attention to the public areas, like the throne room.
“Seriously? You’ll let me have free rein on all of this?”
“Indeed. And I will need another adviser I can trust. I’ll create a title especially for you.”
“Holy shit. Okay, so let me get with Greydusk.”
I nodded. “He’ll assist in obtaining all the materials you need.”
Because she was young, she didn’t realize I had more important matters to attend to. I couldn’t spend days entertaining her, and I had to be sure she would be gainfully occupied. It wouldn’t do for her to get homesick and cause trouble. She had to stay here, safe and protected, and out of the hands of my enemies.
At my word, Greydusk escorted Shannon to the storerooms, where we had piles of unsorted goods, fresh from the Saremon confiscations. That left Chance with me in the study, and he didn’t look pleased. In preparation for an unpleasant conversation, I shut the door and took a seat behind my desk.
“You have something to say?” My tone was dangerous.
“You lied to her about why you’re staying, and then distracted her with busywork. Even though you did try to explain, I don’t think she realizes how…different you are, and when she does, it’s going to be a problem.”
“What do you suggest?” It wasn’t sarcasm. In this setting, with no witnesses, I’d permit him to speak his mind.
He scrubbed a hand through his inky hair. “I don’t know. I’m just worried.”
“As am I. But what are my alternatives? If I renounce the throne and devote my life here to doing good works among the downtrodden, how long do you think we’ll live? Any of us?”
“You won’t convince me your decisions are driven by altruism,” he snapped. “Poor you, taking on the whole city for our benefit? Bullshit. You want this.”
I pushed to my feet, flattening my hands on the desk. Leaning forward, I whispered, “Am I supposed to apologize for wanting things, Chance? You don’t.”