I frown, and let her down to stand before me. “Why the sad smile, then?”
“Being with you is so nice that I’d forgotten for a while about Tommy. I miss our banter. I wish was still with us.” She squeezes her eyes shut and fans her face with frantic hands. “I’m okay,” she murmurs to herself. “You can do this, Ryan.”
Her eyes open as I place my palm to her cheek. “Darlin’, you need to let it out, then do it.”
“Not now.” She shakes her head. “I’ve got my whole life to grieve.” She lets out a short laugh. “I’ve spent most of my life grieving something or another: a person, an idea, or a dream of what I could have had. No more. I want to finally enjoy being happy.”
I move my hand to the back of her head and pull her in so I can kiss the top of her head. “I don’t think you’re quite there yet, but okay.”
She might be relieved or content, but she sure as hell ain’t happy. Until I can say with a hand to my heart that I can get this woman to wake up every day with a smile on her face, and until I can promise that the only sound filling our house—because there’s no way she’s living anywhere but with me after this—is laughter, she ain’t happy. Not really.
I fidget with her matted strands of hair as she looks up at me, cracking the dried blood to get them apart. “How about we get this shower done, yeah?”
Her hand covers mine, stilling it, and she brings it down to her mouth to kiss my knuckles. “Okay.”
I follow her to the end of the landing and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me and locking us in. Ryan’s on autopilot, leaning in to turn the water on and methodically unwinding her hair from the knot she put it in. I step in behind her, holding her gaze in the mirror as I help unravel the mess that is her long black locks.
“I can’t believe I sat in a diner with somebody’s gore in my hair,” she mumbles.
“The way you had it up, darlin’, nobody could see a thing.”
“It’s still gross.”
“It is,” I agree. “But that’s just how life is when you take another.” I fan the ends out over her shoulders, watching her reaction in the mirror when I run my fingers down the tips sitting over her chest and slide my palms off the end to cup her breasts.
She leans into me, letting me take her weight as I run my hands lower over her stomach. Her eyes slip closed, and she lets out a low moan as I run my fingertips teasingly along the waistline of her jeans. The button pops free under my deft touch, and I ease the teeth of her zipper down, slipping my flattened hands inside the open denim and under her panties.
The material between her legs is fucking soaked. I rock my hips into her at the discovery, and bend my head to kiss behind her ear. “You want this, huh?” I taunt, running my index fingers along the soft flesh either side of her wet cunt.
“They’ve been drenched since I had to sit for hours with you pressed between my legs on your bike.”
“Jesus,” I breathe, slipping a finger between her folds, teasing, coaxing, and touching just outside of her core.
She squirms against me, seeking pleasure from my fingers, but I’ve got other plans. I pull my hands out and turn her around, blood rushing to my already strained cock when I catch sight of her hooded eyes watching me.
I grab a hold of my T-shirt and ease it off over her head. “As much as I’d love to fuck you in that, you can’t shower with it on.” I praise the fact she left everything else off after Gloria stitched and bandaged her.
She stares down at the puddled fabric on the floor as I let my eyes roam her naked torso. “I could put it on again later.”
“You will put it on again later,” I correct, lifting both hands to flick her hair over her shoulders.
She smiles, gripping the basin behind her and peeking out from under her lashes in a way that has me as hard as fucking granite. I lean down and suckle each nipple in turn, getting more moans in response, her hands moving to grip in my hair.
“We’re wasting water,” she complains feebly.
“We’re about to waste a fuckload more.” I strip her jeans off, tossing them aside and repeating the process with her panties.
She stands before me naked, bared, and as perfect as I’d imagined. Every curve, tattoo, scar, and mark is a stroke on her canvas. The resulting art is fucking mesmerizing.
“Get in the shower,” I order, kicking off my boots and moving to pull off my tank, jeans, and briefs.
She steps under the water, careful to keep her bandaged shoulder out of the flow, and watches me strip. The hunger in her eyes matches what I’m feeling in my gut. I get in behind her, my dick standing rigid between us as I run my hands over her back and down to her ass, committing the way she feels to memory. A groan falls from her lips as I slide a hand between her legs and rub my palm over her, bringing her nerves to life again. Coaxing her to turn around, I angle the nozzle toward the wall and slip my foot between hers, kicking her legs apart.
Her eyes go wide, her jaw slack as I drop to my knees and place my palms on her thighs, spreading her lower lips apart with my thumbs. “Jesus, that’s beautiful.” I give her clit a few circles with my thumb before leaning in and sucking the hood into my mouth.
“Shit . . . Bronx.” Her fingers grab hold of my hair, pulling hard.
Say my name again. I spread her again, lapping her with my tongue in long, flat strokes. She pants and squirms, but still, I don’t manage to get her to echo it. My tongue works faster, and I move my right hand to circle her soaked hole before slipping a digit deep inside of her. She begs me to work her harder, pushing off the wall to get more from me, but still—no name. I reach up and plant a firm hand between her heaving tits and push her against the wall, pinning her in place. Sucking her hood again, I slip another finger in, pumping her to the point where she’s begging for release.
And then I get it—the sweetest sound in the world.
“Bronx, I’m going to come.” She places two of her fingers over her clit and circles madly as I lick around where I’m working her pussy into a swollen mess. “Fuck, I need it harder.”
I suck her flesh, releasing it with a pop to ask, “You take the pill or somethin’?”
“Mmm,” she answers, her bottom lip turning white from the pressure of her teeth. “Yeah.”
“Good.” I drop my hand from between her legs and stand abruptly, hoisting her up the wall, taking care not to give her shoulder grief. She cries out, her eyes shut tight, and I worry that I’ve still hurt her until she opens those crisp blues on me and smiles. Her soft expression fades pretty damn fast when I line myself up with her and push inside, turning that smile to an open mouthed ‘oh’.
“Oh my God.”
“He ain’t here,” I grunt between thrusts.
“Bronx,” she moans, her tits bouncing as her body jolts against the wall. That’s better.
I lean in to her, shifting the angle I’m hitting as I lean down and suck one of her nipples into my mouth. She cries out as I flick my tongue around the tight bud, repeating the attention and care with the other. I pull back, repositioning my hands beneath her as I step us away from the wall and twist a quarter turn to the left so she’s got her back to the glass door.
“Grab the top of the frame with your good hand.”
Her head tilts back, and she watches what she’s doing as she reaches over her head and twists her left wrist to get a hold of the top of the door frame. She tucks her right arm across her front, wincing a little.
“You okay?”
“Fine,” she says. “I’ll let you know if it’s too much.”
“Try to hang on, darlin’.” Taking a step back, I angle her hips upward and loop my arm farther around so I can keep her up with just the one. Holding on beside her hand with the other, I brace myself and resume giving it to her, hard and punishing.
I fuck her for leaving.