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‘Mr. Brunel, you are truly remarkable!’

There was that very slight inkling of a smile again which was becoming disconcerting. Dick smiled back.

‘You haven’t shared these thoughts with anyone else I hope?’ Vera asked.

‘Of course not’, Dick replied with a shake of his head.

‘And everyone still thinks you’re working on that education project?’. Dick nodded.

‘Good, good. Just checking. You will of course receive full credit for your solution but if it is adopted and effective, we will both bask in the glory of its success’.

Dick was pleased that his proposal, while inventive and definitely a long shot, would be championed by Vera. He saw a ticker tape parade in his honour; being carried shoulder high and having a shiny medal pinned on his chest by the Leader himself. His imagination was running away with him again — but this time in a good way.

‘Stay here. I won’t be a moment’, Vera said retrieving the meeting room key from the depths of her bosom and getting up. ‘There’s something I need’.

She returned minutes later not holding yet more papers or files as Dick had expected, but a large bottle of brandy and two glasses. She locked the door once more, set the bottle down and filled the glasses.

‘I keep these locked in my filing cabinet for special occasions’, she explained. ‘It’s outside of regular working hours so I think we can do this without feeling too guilty’. She raised her glass and Dick followed suit. ‘To a genius idea Mr. Brunel, a genius idea!’.

They clinked glasses and toasted potential success. It would have been all right if they had stopped there, put the bottle, glasses and papers away then went home. But they didn’t. Toasting Dick’s proposal was swiftly followed by toasting it once more. Then again. Then again. Then Vera proposed a toast to the Party. Then the Leader. Then the Ministry of Information. Then the downfall of the Resistance (Dick suggested this toast to make sure he came across a true Party supporter). From then on the toasts became just as frequent but increasingly obscure. To the production of more bridges. To increased steel production. To the digging of more canals. Deeper ones. To more colourful hovercars. Green ones. To more comfortable office chairs. Brown ones. To toothpaste with a more minty taste. To shiny shoes. To carpet. To the sky. To the letter ‘J’. To even numbers. To prime numbers between one and twenty. To words that don’t rhyme with anything, like orange, mirror, month and purple.

Each toast was preceded by the filling of glasses and followed by the downing of their entire contents. By the time they’d toasted the office carpet for the third time, having completely forgotten the two previous mentions, the brandy bottle was empty and Dick was feeling particularly mellow. He wasn’t sure exactly what Vera was feeling but he had a good guess as she lunged forward across the table and grabbed him, prising his lips apart with a snake-like tongue. This totally unexpected and inappropriate gesture from his department manager caught Dick completely unawares. As Vera’s darting tongue probed deep down his throat threatening to find his spleen, Dick found himself simultaneously caught in her strong grip. In a clumsy but powerful, and ultimately irresistible move, she yanked him up from his seat and embraced him. Dick’s mind was hazy under the influence of so much brandy but as far as he could remember he’d never wrestled with a large bear before, and most definitely not one that was squeezing his buttocks in an overtly sexual manner. He was sure though, that if this ever happened, it would feel exactly like this. In extreme conditions the body produces extra adrenaline that gives it almost superhuman strength. Dick felt certain this was happening to Vera but in this case her strength wasn’t used to outrun enemies or raise a car off an accident victim, it was used to force him down on the meeting room table. He was thinking about whether he should resist or comply as Vera straddled his wriggling body, pinning him down by his hands. She leant forward, her breasts smothering him.

‘I need you Jeremy. I want you’, she slurred. ‘I want us to make the beast with two backs’.

Dick was in danger of suffocation and decided to save his breath for breathing rather than waste it on talking or crying for help. Unfortunately for him an increasingly passionate Vera took his lack of response as a sign of consent. Still straddling Dick, she sat back. Dick caught his breath and gasped. Transfixed as if he’d been staring at a gorgon Dick could only stare in horror as Vera began to unbutton her blouse. Her discarded top revealed a corset which look liked it had been made from a tarpaulin and which demonstrated the same structural engineering skills that had built the railways or canals, and which certainly contained the same amount of metal work. Vera’s hands were now fumbling with the various cords and fixings that kept her large body safely contained.

By now Dick had conceded that resistance was futile. His expression had changed from that of someone caught staring at Medusa to that of a deer caught in headlights. Except that in Dick’s case the headlights were Vera’s enormously saggy breasts. Instinct took over and Dick found his hands involuntarily reaching up and fondling them. They felt like two enormous sandbags and just as sexually stimulating. Kneeding them gave Dick no pleasure at all but Vera moaned like an animal; in this case, road kill gasping its last agonising breath before expiring. The amount of brandy consumed would have dented any man’s libido but Dick wasn’t any man. By instinct his penis grew in response to Vera writhing and grinding her hips in slow circles. She looked down at the growing bulge in his trousers.

‘Take me here, you sexual beast’, Vera cried, dribbling. ‘Relieve me of my maidenhood!’

If Dick was worried before, his level of concern had just crept into the red. Not only was he about to have sex with his boss in the workplace, but he was about to take her virginity. Dick panicked. Not just at the gruesome and hideous task that was about to befall him, but because Vera would surely comment on the size of his penis and report him. Dick thought back to his dream when he was exhibited as a medical curiosity, and what had happened. Of course, there was a chance that in Vera’s drunken state she might not remember the exact details of what was taking place. Dick was still mulling this over while Vera unbuttoned his trousers and fiddled with his zip. Plunging her hands in deep through his fly as if she was at a fairground lucky dip stall, Vera soon found a prize. She gasped as thirteen inches of Dick’s dick were relived from the confines of his underwear and sprang to attention.

Vera gasped and stared, the response Dick had come to expect when women clasped their eyes on his erect penis for the first time. Dick thought for a moment that she would go into shock. He’d seen it in many women, several of whom had to undergo CPR and one who was temporarily admitted to a sanatorium. Vera’s constitution, however, was as sturdy as the rest of her. She blinked twice, licked her lips three times and demonstrating an unexpected degree of athleticism, wriggled and writhed, somehow simultaneously hoisting up her skirt and undoing an enormous pair of split-crotch knickers that looked as though they had been made from the same type, and quantity, of fabric that covered airships. Dick knew the inevitable was about to happen and he did what anyone what anyone would do in his position. Lie back and think of England. Vera wriggled some more and tried to lower herself on Dick’s rigid member. Dick thought of that joke about how do you make love to a fat woman: you roll them in flour and look for the wet patch — but at this precise moment it didn’t seem funny at all. With each bounce Dick felt that irreparable damaged being down to his internal organs. He thought he heard his pelvis cracking. Or it could have been two of his ribs. Or a vertebrae. Or all of the above.