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8. It remains intensely difficult to untangle what really is standard or normal when the culture has determined for us already that no sex in any way is normal for a teen. Suddenly, the question of whether a behavior causes someone extreme distress—a typical psychologist’s question when determining whether behavior needs to be addressed—becomes doubtfuclass="underline" a girl may well feel tremendous shame about behavior that isn’t so horrible when that behavior is removed from cultural mores. We have to wonder whether the real trouble is the behavior or the labeling of the behavior as a problem.

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9. Craig Nakken, The Addictive Personality, 2nd ed. (Center City, MN: Hazelden Publishing, 1988).

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10. Kelly McDaniel, Ready to Heaclass="underline" Women Facing Love, Sex, and Relationship Addiction (Carefree, AZ: Gentle Path Press, 2008), For the leading experts’ words on love and sex addiction, see also Pia Mellody’s Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love (New York: HarperCollins, 1992) and Patrick Carnes’s Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sex Addiction (Center City, MN: Hazelden Publishing, 2001).

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11. E. O. Paolucci, M. L. Genuis, and C. Violato, “A Meta-Analysis of the Published Research on the Effects of Child Sexual Abuse,” Journal of Psychology 135, no. 1 (2001): 17–36.

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12. Heather Corinna, “Who’s Calling Who Compulsive? Calling Out a Common Rape Survivor Stereotype,” Scarleteen.com, June 6, 2010, www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2010/06/06/whos_calling_who_compulsive_calling_out_a_common_rape_survivor_stere.

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13. Becky and Kathy Liddle, “More Than Good Intentions: How to Be an Ally to the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Community,” Auburn Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual Caucus, retrieved April 5, 2011, www.auburn.edu/aglbc/ally.htm.

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1. “Facts on American Teens’ Sexual and Reproductive Health,” Guttmacher Institute, January 2011, www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-ATSRH.html.

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2. Laura M. Carpenter, Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences (New York: New York University Press, 2005).

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3. The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation and Seventeen Magazine, “Virginity and the First Time: A Series of National Surveys of Teens about Sex,” Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, October 2003, www.kff.org/entpartnerships/upload/Virginity-and-the-First-Time-Summary-of-Findings.pdf.

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4. Bill Albert, “National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, ‘With One Voice 2007: America’s Adults and Teens Sound Off about Teen Pregnancy: A Periodic National Survey,’” The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, February 2007, www.thenationalcampaign.org/resources/pdf/pubs/WOV2007_fulltext.pdf.

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5. Judith Levine, Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex (New York: Thunder’s Mouth Press, 2003), 160.

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6. Kaiser Family Foundation, T. Hoff, L. Greene, and J. Davis, “National Survey of Adolescence and Young Adults: Sexual Health Knowledge, Attitudes and Behaviors,” Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, May 2003, www.kff.org/youthhivstds/upload/National-Survey-of-Adolescents-and-Young-Adults-Sexual-Health-Knowledge-Attitudes-and-Experiences-Summary-of-Findings.pdf.

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7. S. A. Vannier and L. F. O’Sullivan, “Sex without Desire: Characteristics of Occasions of Sexual Compliance in Young Adults’ Committed Relationships,” Journal of Sex Research 47, no. 5 (2010): 429–439.

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8. Latoya Peterson, “The Not-Rape Epidemic,” in Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World without Rape, ed. Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti (Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008), 209–219.

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9. Lee Jacob Riggs, “A Love Letter from an Anti-Rape Activist to Her Feminist Sex-Toy Store,” in Friedman and Valenti, Yes Means Yes!, 114.

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10. Levine, Harmful to Minors, 89.

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11. Jill Filipovic, “Offensive Feminism: The Conservative Gender Norms That Perpetuate Rape Culture, and How Feminists Can Fight Back,” in Friedman and Levine, Yes Means Yes!, 19.

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12. Sexual Abuse Statistics, Teen Help.com, retrieved April 5, 2011, www.teenhelp.com/teen-abuse/sexual-abuse-stats.html.

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13. T. Luster and S. A. Small, “Sexual Abuse History and Number of Sex Partners among Female Adolescents,” Family Planning Perspectives 29, no. 5 (1997): 204–211.

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14. J. H. Beitchman, K. Zucker, J. Hood, G. DaCosta, and D. Akman, “A Review of the Long-Term Effects of Child Sexual Abuse,” Child Abuse and Neglect 16 (1992): 101–118.

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1. National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and Cosmogirl.com, “Sex and Tech, Results from a Survey of Teens and Young Adults,” National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, retrieved April 5, 2011, www.thenationalcampaign.org/sextech/PDF/SexTech_Summary.pdf.

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2. “Home Computer Access and Internet Use,” Child Trends Databank,June2010, www.childtrendsdatabank.org/?q=node/298.

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3. For a list of sexting legislation for each state, see “2010 Legislation Related to ‘Sexting,’” National Conference of State Legislature, January 4, 2011, www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=19696.