Harley
They were quiet on the way to the airfield on the other side of Ko Tao. Harley sat in the backseat of the tiny Figaro she’d bought their first week here, letting Dom play chauffeur as she cuddled Jasper. She did her best to memorize the feel of her son’s firm, warm body fitted against hers and the way the setting sun turned his drying curls into a golden halo around his head. She tried not to think about Dom and Jasper flying away, leaving her alone to take care of her unfinished business.
She had the names of Dom’s contacts in Bangkok, enough clay and other materials to make sure the statues with Marlowe’s drugs hidden inside were ready to ship by Friday, and an exit strategy.
This was going to work. It had to work. It was past time to stop running and give Jasper the forever home they’d both been dreaming about for so long.
“Update the blog when you get there so I know you’ve landed safely,” Harley said, avoiding eye contact with Dom as he fetched his and Jasper’s suitcases from the trunk. “Don’t call or text. We don’t want any traceable communication.”
“I know.” Dom sounded more tired than annoyed. But Harley had been told she was exhausting more times than she could count, so she wasn’t really surprised. “And I’ll post something every few days so you know we’re still doing fine.”
“Thank you.” Harley put her arm around Jasper. He leaned heavily against her, clearly worn out after his long, last day on the beach. “I appreciate what you’re doing for us, Dom.”
“Of course.” His smile was stiff until he transferred his gaze to Jasper and his expression warmed. “We’re going to have fun, aren’t we, buddy? We’ll play video games the whole way there.”
Jasper pumped his fist in the air. “Yes! No reading!”
“Do some reading,” Harley said, tapping her fingers on top of Jasper’s head. “You need to keep that big beautiful brain of yours growing.”
“What about Dom’s brain?” Jasper asked.
“My brain’s done growing,” Dom said wryly. “But I’ll read some, too. Keep you company.”
“Okay.” Jasper turned expectantly to Harley. “So I guess all that’s left is my surprise.”
“I guess so.” She grinned as she reached into the open trunk, pulling out a paper bag that she handed over to Jasper. This was the only good part of saying goodbye, seeing the look on his face as he revealed the latest addition to his collection of keeper toys, the playthings that went with them no matter where they moved.
He tore into the bag, giggling with delight as he pulled out the hideous doll she’d ordered online. It was half plastic and half fur, with the head of a Sasquatch, the body of a kewpie doll, and a red and gold skirt with green snakes printed on it. “Oh, Mom, it’s so ugly. Maybe the ugliest one yet!”
“I know,” Harley said, laughing with him. “I had to search a long time for something uglier than the teddy bear with the chicken pox, but this guy…” She shook her head, her upper lip curling. “He’s something else.”
“You two are weirdos,” Dom said, the affection in his voice making her glance up to find him smiling at Jasper. “Why an ugly toy collection?”
“Because ugly toys are awesome and need homes, too.” Jasper clutched the monstrosity to his chest with one arm while he hugged Harley with the other. “Thanks, Mom. I love it.”
“You’re welcome.” She leaned over, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, spotting the grains of sand still clinging to his scalp because, of course, he hadn’t bothered to take her scrubbing suggestion seriously.
She didn’t know why, but the sight of that sand made her even sadder to see him go. She had to fight to keep from crying as she walked Dom and Jasper to the airfield gate to meet the charter pilot she’d hired to take them to Bangkok and then on to Prague, where they would spend the rest of June.
“It’s going to be okay,” Dom said, resting a hand on her back, the compassion in his touch making her hope they might find their way back to being friends again, someday. “We’ll be fine and we’ll see you in a few weeks. Be careful.”
She nodded, swallowing hard. “I will. You, too.”
“Goodbye, Mom.” Jasper hugged her again, clinging tightly. “Never ever.”
Her eyes squeezed closed. It was what she’d always said to Hannah. It meant more than I love you. It meant you never ever wanted to be without the other person.
“Never ever, bug,” she said, hugging him hard, silently promising him that she would do everything she could to make sure he never had to be without anyone he loved. “Have fun and I’ll see you soon.”
She stood by the chain link fence, watching Dom and Jasper cross the hard packed dirt to where the small charter plane was waiting, concentrating on the warm wind stirring her hair and the gentle kiss of the evening sun on her skin.
It was time to ground herself in her body, in the moment, and let go of everything that didn’t serve her. She needed to be sharp, focused, and ready to respond to danger at a moment’s notice. Missing Jasper, worrying about what might happen to her son while she wasn’t there to protect him, and stressing about all the things that could go wrong in the next few days would only make her scattered and weak.
If she was going to pull this off, there was no room for weakness. It was time to become the woman she had been before Clay, before Jasper, before the years had taught her how hard it was to lose the things that made life worth living. Now wasn’t the time for grief or regret. It was time for hard, sharp, and ruthless.
By the time the plane took off, swinging out over the water before turning north toward the city, Harley’s pulse had slowed and emotion no longer fisted in her chest. She turned away from the fence, walking back to the car, focusing on lengthening and smoothing her breath and letting go of thought. It was a trick she’d learned from the man who had taught her how to fly a plane, a former Soviet spy turned smuggler for Marlowe. Quieting the inner world left more resources available to observe the outer world, and depriving the ego of fuel allowed instinct to take over.
Instinct, which only cared about one thing—survival at any cost.
Slowly, Harley’s awareness expanded to take in the light glinting off the ocean waves, the murmurs from the wild chickens pecking in the ditch, and the competing scents of ocean and airplane fuel on the wind. Her body slipped into ancient predator-prey mode, scanning her surroundings for cues that would tell her when to fight and when to flee.
If she hadn’t shifted her awareness, she might not have noticed the battered red truck on the other side of the field, parked down by the beach just before the black rocks turned to sand. She might not have seen the fisherman leaning over his tackle box and certainly wouldn’t have noticed the sandy hair sticking out from beneath his stained ball cap.
She hadn’t made any friends on the island—she deliberately kept to herself—but she recognized most of the locals she ran into around town and none of the ex-pats or Brits she’d met were men with blond hair. She supposed the man could be one of the more adventurous backpackers, come to explore the coral reef on the other side of the island, but the few tourists who came to Ko Tao rented scooters to get around. They didn’t drive trucks or dress in weathered Thai fisherman’s pants.
There was something off about the man who kept his back turned to her as she paused, the car door in hand, studying him over the top of her sun-warmed hood. After a long beat, she slid into the driver’s seat and adjusted the mirror until she captured the man’s reflection. She started the car, watching him with her foot on the brake, but he didn’t turn around. He was focused on the line in his hands, and his face was invisible in the deep shadow beneath the brim of his hat.