I snagged a plate from the counter near the stove and scooped up a healthy portion of eggs and sausage. Then, I joined the three at the table. Behind me, Ethan opened the refrigerator.
“I’m sorry about what happened,” I said without preamble.
Gabby lifted her head and gave me a red-faced nod. Guilt joined the shame. I’d never be able to keep my food down if she didn’t let her emotions go. With a sigh, I pushed my chair back and stood.
“Come on. Let’s go for a walk.”
She considered me for a moment then stood. Clay stood, too.
“No boys allowed,” I said.
He didn’t look at me. He kept his gaze on Gabby. Gabby, however, refused to look at him. When we moved to leave the kitchen, he didn’t try to follow.
“Don’t worry, Z. I’ll protect your plate,” Ethan called as the door closed behind us.
Outside, I took a deep breath and let it out.
“What I did might have killed you.”
“It was the only option,” she said.
I nodded, and we slowly walked toward the barn.
“When I was younger, I did the same thing to my parents. I’d thought I’d killed them; they were lying so still on the floor. I remember going to their bedroom and getting pillows to put under their heads. All day, I watched them, and that night, I went to sleep between them. Do you know how I woke up?”
She shook her head.
“With them making out right next to me. My mom wouldn’t stop saying yes. Yes! Yes!” I mimicked my mom’s passionate cries.
Gabby stopped walking, turned, and stared at me.
“I was so happy they were okay, I tried to hug them.” I laughed, remembering. “They didn’t even notice. It took a few more minutes to realize they weren’t themselves.” I sighed and looked at the ground.
“It took me a long time to figure out how to control my ability, how to block myself from people’s emotions. But even when I try blocking, I still feel what people around me feel. So, tell me, why the guilt and shame? Nothing about what happened was your fault.”
Her face darkened further, and her embarrassment soaked into my skin.
“I’m not asking to make it worse. I’m asking to help you through what you’re feeling because if we have to travel together, I won’t last long.”
Gabby looked down at the ground.
“It’s Clay. I remember...” She shook her head. “I was begging him.”
“Trust me,” I said with a grin. “He was loving every minute of it. If he could turn back the clock, he would do it all over again. Well, not the worrying, but he definitely liked what happened when you woke up. He respects you. I warned him that you wouldn’t be yourself, and he didn’t take advantage. That was really sweet.”
She nodded and some of her shame disappeared as she looked toward the house.
“It was. He’s always sweet. I just wish he wouldn’t have said no. It would have made it a lot easier.”
“What?”
“Finally saying yes to him.” The guilt surged.
“Ah.” So that was the problem. She was feeling guilty for holding out. “I hear the longer you wait, the more special it is. He seems like he’s willing to give you whatever time you need. Don’t sweat this. There are other things to worry about, right?”
“You’re right.”
“Are we good to go back in?”
“Yeah, I think we are.”
“How’s the sonar look?”
“We need to move soon. They are going to swing through this area in another hour or two.”
An hour or two sounded a little too close for me.
We walked back to the house, and once we were inside, she went straight to Clay. He leaned against a wall, waiting for her. She gave him a tentative smile. He exhaled slowly, and I felt his relief. Some of my own guilt slipped away.
When I turned to the table, I saw Ethan scraping the last crumbs from my very empty plate. He’d actually eaten my food?
“You’re dead,” I said, stepping toward him.
He laughed and sprang up from the chair.
“It’s on the stove. I swear!”
He grabbed a plate from the stovetop and held it out to me. The corners of his eyes wrinkled as he grinned at me. I shook my head at him, hiding my worry that he was only using his left hand.
“I’ll let you live. For now.”
I took my plate and gobbled the eggs.
* * * *
Ethan and I rode in the backseat again. Winifred drove. Emotionally, she was much quieter, and it made for a relaxing drive.
It was so relaxing that I leaned against Ethan and fell asleep for a few hours. When I lifted my head, his shoulder was wet.
“Sorry about the bath,” I said, wiping my mouth. At least I’d crashed on his left shoulder and not his right.
“No problem. I was overdue.”
I looked out the window. We were in a large city.
“Where are we?”
He shrugged, but Winifred answered.
“Evansville. We’re going to stop for the day. Gabby said they recently swept through the area, so it should be safe.”
“Good. I have to pee,” Ethan said. “And dry off.”
Within minutes, we were pulling into a hotel parking lot. The three vehicles parked close. I immediately felt the weariness and worry of the group as everyone got out and started grabbing bags. How long had Bethi said they’d been looking for me?
Ethan and I got out, already carrying our bags, and walked with the rest into the hotel. It felt good to stretch my legs.
Michelle and Emmitt broke off from the group to go to the front desk. They returned with four room keys.
“We’ll stay with you,” she said as she handed a key to Charlene and Thomas.
Then she handed a key to Sam, Winifred, and Grey.
“An Elder in each room allows for better communication.”
Ethan and I shared a look. Better communication?
“We’ll go with Sam,” Gabby said, taking Clay’s hand.
“Do these rooms have a couch or am I sleeping with Sam?” Jim asked with a grin.
“No pull out sofas. Sorry, Jim,” Michelle said.
He didn’t seem to mind.
“Bethi, you and Luke can stay with me,” Winifred said.
Ethan and I looked at Grey and Carlos.
“I call dibs sleeping with you, Z,” Ethan said under his breath. I nodded. There was no way I’d sleep next to either of those other two.
“Let’s settle in,” Charlene said. “I’ll order room service, and everyone can meet in our room. We need to discuss what’s next.”
Six
Ethan and I followed Grey and Carlos down the hall. The pair didn’t say much. Then again, neither did we. Grey unlocked the door, and Carlos stepped aside to let us in. As I passed, Grey handed me a spare keycard. Ethan set his bag on the far bed, and I took the side furthest from the other two. Ethan didn’t comment.
I ducked into the bathroom for a much needed pee while the other two set their bags on the bed. When I came back out, Ethan was waiting with a clean change of clothes in his arms.
“’Bout time,” I said, moving aside for him.
“Didn’t know how bad you wanted me neck’d.” He never said naked the right way. I couldn’t even remember how it had started. Probably one of the first times I’d slept over at his house. Man, how old had I been? Eleven? My parents most definitely had been fried by then.
Ethan closed himself into the bathroom. The TV was on, Grey was gone, and Carlos sat on the end of his bed.
“Aren’t we using the buddy system? You lost your buddy,” I said, sitting on the end of my bed.
“He’ll find his way back. He always does.”
I couldn’t be sure if that was a joke or not. A timid knock on the door distracted me before I could decide. Carlos stood and answered it.