“Thanks.”
“Plus, you’ve got a great ass.”
Janet gave him a light slap on the shoulder. “I do believe you’re going to make me blush, Mr. Luck God.”
Bonnie tailed Lucky and Janet to an Italian restaurant. The god and his date went inside while Bonnie and Syph waited in the parking lot for a few minutes.
“What now?” asked Syph.
“Now, we go in.”
“Isn’t that a bit rude?”
Under ordinary circumstances, Bonnie wouldn’t have considered it. But she was fighting for her life here. Good manners were a restriction she was willing to ignore. She was actually hoping for an ugly scene. Anything to snap Syph out of her funk.
They were in luck. The place was busy and the hostess offered them the only available table, which was within view of Lucky, who sat in a booth with his back to them. It gave her time to think this through.
The waiter, Steve, spilled out tonight’s drink specials. Bonnie didn’t pay attention. She cut him off, ordering a beer.
“And you, ma’am?” Steve asked Syph.
The goddess offered no reply. Her unblinking stare focused on Janet.
“She’ll take a water,” said Bonnie.
“Great. Can I interest you in some appetizers?”
“Just the drinks right now. Thanks.” Bonnie nudged him aside to get a better view. He took the hint and went to the kitchen.
Lucky and Janet shared a laugh.
Syph scowled. The wax bubbled on the small candle in the center of the table, and its flame turned black.
Bonnie fanned the flames, metaphorically.
“They certainly seem to be having a good time.”
The goddess tore ten long slashes in the tablecloth and wood with her fingernails. A spiderweb of black and blue veins darkened her face and neck. She literally hissed.
“That bitch.”
“Hold on,” said Bonnie. “Don’t you think you’re aiming your wrath at the wrong target?”
“Who does she think she is?”
Steve returned with their drinks. Syph ran her finger along the edge of her glass, and the water boiled.
“Can I take your order now?” asked Steve.
“Two specials,” said Bonnie quickly.
“Ma’am, we don’t have any specials.”
“We’ll take the enchiladas then.”
“We don’t serve-”
She grabbed his pad. “Steve, we are in the middle of something important. I don’t know if you’re really that oblivious or you haven’t noticed that this is a goddess of tragedy and she’s in a really, really bad mood. Either way, why don’t you just bring us whatever you like best?”
“Actually, I don’t eat here. Confidentially, I hate Italian food. And the cook doesn’t wear a hairnet.”
Bonnie ground her teeth. “Spaghetti. We’ll take two orders of spaghetti.”
“Meat sauce or marinara?”
“You’re screwing with me.”
“A little bit,” admitted Steve.
Janet flipped her hair and scratched Lucky’s ear.
Syph slammed her fists on the table and the entire restaurant rattled. Every candle on every table erupted, sending up geysers of flame, melting the plastic holders, and scorching the ceiling.
Everyone in the restaurant, including Lucky, looked in Syph’s direction.
“Spaghetti,” said Steve. “Got it.” He bolted for the kitchen.
Lucky stood and started walking over to the table.
Bonnie whispered to Syph, “Be strong.”
He stood before them.
“Hi,” Bonnie said and immediately regretted it.
Syph pushed forth a smile. “Oh, hi, Lucky.”
He took a seat at the table, steepled his fingers, and frowned. “What are you doing here, Syph?”
She fiddled with her fork. “Nothing.”
Bonnie wondered if she should say something, but she decided to let the situation unfurl on its own. She would’ve excused herself, but she had a vested interest in how it turned out.
Lucky’s ears fell flat. “Syph…”
“We’re just having dinner,” replied the goddess lightly, unable to look in his direction. “This is Bonnie. She’s my follower.”
“Syph…”
“We’re allowed to have dinner!” said Syph a bit too eagerly. “I don’t care what that restraining order says.”
Caught in mid-drink, Bonnie sputtered and choked.
“We’ve been over this,” said Lucky. “I get North and South America, Asia, and Antarctica. You get Africa, Europe, and Australia.”
Syph spoke into her chest. “ Australia is barely a continent.”
“Fine. I’ll trade you Antarctica for Australia if it bothers you so much.”
“Whatever. I’ve been thinking. We’re two mature, immortal beings. We should be able to work this out in a reasonable way without all the drama, right?”
“We should,” said Lucky suspiciously.
“Honestly, I don’t even see what the big deal is. Maybe I overreacted a bit at first, but that was before I realized that you’ll come to your senses. Eventually. All I have to do is be patient.”
“Fine. Be patient. Just be patient somewhere else.”
Syph laughed. She tried to pass it off as casual and light, but it was forced and high-pitched.
“You always were a witty one.” She nodded at Janet. “Who is that?”
“Nobody,” said Lucky.
“Is she your date? Are you dating a mortal?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“I can’t believe you’d actually stoop to dating a mortal.” Syph chuckled coldly and elbowed Bonnie in the ribs. “What century is this anyway?”
Bonnie made a noncommittal gruntish sort of noise.
Lucky forced an impatient smile. “She’s nice.”
“I’m sure she is,” said Syph. “She’s also doomed to dust.”
“Syph…”
The goddess threw up her hands. “It’s true, isn’t it? She is mortal, after all. They all find their way into the grave sooner or later. Usually sooner.”
Lucky stood on the chair, put his hands on the table, and leaned forward. “You’ll leave her alone.”
“Of course, of course. She seems lovely, doesn’t she, Bonnie?”
Bonnie stuck her beer in her mouth by way of reply.
Lucky’s fur bristled as an electrical crackle passed between the god and goddess. The dim lighting flickered.
The manager, a tall woman in a pantsuit, approached the table.
“I’m sorry. Is there a problem here?”
Bonnie expected the manager to be blasted to atoms by a withering glance from the god and goddess. Lucky and Syph both smiled.
“No problem.” He hopped off the chair. “Just a couple of old friends catching up. Nice to see you, Syph. Sorry you couldn’t stay longer.” He walked away, and all the divine energies dissipated from the atmosphere.
The manager exhaled, wiping a bead of sweat from her brow. She made an offering of complimentary bread sticks to the goddess, but Bonnie turned them down. She grabbed Syph by the arm and dragged her out of the restaurant. Syph protested, but Bonnie ignored her. She knew it wasn’t at all wise to manhandle a goddess, but she didn’t care. She shoved Syph into the car and didn’t say another word until she’d driven a few miles away.
“I was actually looking forward to the spaghetti,” said Syph.
“What just happened in there?” Bonnie tried to keep the edge from her voice, but it didn’t work.
“I talked to him. Just like you wanted me to.”
“That wasn’t what I wanted.”
“It wasn’t?”
Bonnie was so distracted, she ran a red light and was nearly hit by a truck.
Syph suggested, “You might want to drive carefully when your passenger is a goddess of tragedy. You never know when a bus full of orphans is nearby.”
Bonnie pulled into a supermarket parking lot.
“What was that thing he mentioned? Something about a restraining order?”
“Oh, that.” Syph folded her arms and shrugged. “That’s nothing. Just a little misunderstanding, that’s all. I did some things, some embarrassing things. Maybe I overreacted when we had our problems. I admit that. Anyway, it’s not a restraining order per se. It’s more of a voluntary territorial division arbitrated by the Court of Divine Affairs.” Syph turned her head away and mumbled, “More silly than anything else.”