“Yeah, lucky.”
But it hadn’t been blind luck. If Phil hadn’t spilled his coffee, if he hadn’t switched mugs to try and cover the mistake, he’d be dead right now. Lucky had neglected to mention Gorgoz, but Lucky’s influence had also saved Phil’s life. It was complicated.
“A search of Rosenquist’s home turned up a secret altar and contraband paraphernalia,” added Watson. “From the looks of things, we think he was giving tribute to Gorgoz.”
“But he was a business executive,” said Phil. “Why would he be following an illegal god?”
“Happens more than you might think,” said the mortal. “Statistically, most unsanctioned tribute is committed by the middle class.”
Phil didn’t know what to think. Like most everyone, he was inclined to imagine the temple underground populated by lowlifes, thugs, and murderers. Those people who couldn’t get ahead in this world and turned to the dark gods in desperation. But that really made no sense. Why wouldn’t people who were willing to invoke unethical and dangerous powers get ahead? He’d met plenty of middle management and been impressed with their complete lack of practical job skills.
And what about all those other employees who were promoted, never to be seen again, despite promises to “keep in touch”? Were they inducted into a secret cabal, too busy engaging in ritual sacrifice and secret ceremonies to return phone calls or even just drop by and say hi? Or even more sinisterly, were their promotions just a ruse, an excuse for a convenient transfer to some obscure position in another city so that no one would question their disappearance, another sacrifice to dark gods to facilitate the sinister boardroom dealings?
It sure as hell would explain a lot.
“What are we supposed to do now?” asked Phil.
“I can understand your concerns, Mr. Robinson,” said Agent Watson, “but you can rest assured that we’re on top of this. These sort of incidents are the exception, not the norm. And Divine Affairs is very good at dealing with them.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means we stand by our record,” replied Agent Melody.
“And what record is that?” asked Phil.
The agents turned their backs and exchanged whispers.
Divine Affairs offered vague reassurances, but nothing tangible. There was a twisted god out there, somewhere, issuing death warrants for Phil and Teri. Their own god, meanwhile, didn’t appear as trustworthy as they’d hoped. And he wasn’t anywhere to be found. Maybe he’d heard about the incident and flown back to Wisconsin rather than stick around and face the wrath of Teri.
Phil waited for the agents to finish their conversation, though he was positive they wouldn’t have any real help to offer. Just a vague promise to look into things and get back to him. They’d give him some phone number to call in case of trouble to make him feel better, but what good could it be?
“Cripes,” he groaned as he looked to the heavens, which now appeared so indifferent to his problems, more than ever before. And he spotted his god floating overhead in his signature globe of light.
He had no idea how long Lucky had been hovering there. The god chewed on a piece of beef jerky, sipped on a Big Gulp, and surveyed the scene. He spotted Phil, shrugged, and descended to earth reluctantly. Before Phil could speak with him, the agents pulled Lucky aside.
Phil waited for his shot at his god. While he waited, Teri and Quick returned.
“Don’t be too hard on him,” said Quick. “He’s not such a bad guy, really.”
Phil and Teri were having none of it. They wouldn’t have been surprised if, after finishing his conversation with the agents, Lucky had flown away rather than talk to them. But he didn’t.
“Hey, buddy,” he said with every ounce of carefree charm, “how’s it going?”
“Not so good,” replied Phil.
“So I gathered.” Lucky’s smile dropped. “I know this looks bad-”
“You’re damn right it looks bad. It looks worse than bad. We were almost killed, sacrificed as tribute to some evil god with a grudge against you.”
“I can explain-”
“You lied to us.”
“I never said-”
“Lying by omission is still lying. And what about those red animals? When I specifically asked you about them, you said they were no big deal. But they are a big deal after all. They have something to do with Gorgoz, right?”
“They usually go away after a while,” said Lucky. “So maybe I should’ve mentioned it. But I’m immortal. I bring a lot of baggage with me. I can’t be expected to remember every little incident from the past that might be of consequence today. It’s been a while since Gorgoz tried anything like this. I’d just assumed that he’d gotten over it by now. A few hundred years is usually enough for any god. Damn, when Ngai found out I slept with his wife he vowed eternal revenge, too. But now we play poker and laugh about it over beers. That’s the way it works. Maybe in the old days we could nurse a grudge, but that old-way bullshit doesn’t happen anymore. At least, it’s not supposed to happen anymore.”
“But it did happen,” said Teri, “and it nearly happened to us.”
“I’m on top of it,” said Lucky.
“Stop lying.” She thrust her finger at him. “You’re full of crap.
“I know you’re upset, Teri, so I’ll overlook-”
“No. You’re not going to turn this around and make it about us. We didn’t do anything wrong. You’re the wrong one. You’re the one who let us down. We came into this straight. We did what we promised. And you promised to look after us, to help us out. And the last time I checked, keeping us from getting killed by some rogue god is your job.”
He withered under her glare.
“Do your job, Lucky. Or get the hell out of my house.”
She marched away, going inside, slamming the door.
“She’s just upset,” said Phil.
The door opened. Teri stuck her head out.
“And Phil, don’t you dare apologize for me!”
She slammed the door shut again.
Phil paused, torn between placating his god and his wife.
“Go on, Phil,” said Lucky. “She needs you.”
“Please, don’t smite her,” said Phil hastily as he ran into the house.
Lucky sucked on the straw, even as the gurgling noise indicated that the cup was empty.
“She’s right,” said Quick.
“Yeah. Maybe.” Lucky chewed on a piece of ice. “All I know is that if I confront Gorgoz, he’s going to kick my ass all across the Milky Way. And I’d rather not have that.”
“Maybe if you tried apologizing, he’d forget the whole thing.”
“First of all,” said Lucky, “I’m not apologizing. I didn’t do anything wrong. Secondly, it wouldn’t make any difference. You know that. We’re way past the apology stage.”
“You could move out.”
“If I move out, they’re as good as dead. Without all the good fortune that comes from my presence, they’ll be fodder for Gorgoz’s minions.”
They sat on the porch and ran over the problem several times. They didn’t know where Gorgoz was hiding. And even if they did find him, they couldn’t fight him. Lucky could keep Gorgoz’s followers in check for a while, perhaps even years. But even the most powerful god of good fortune couldn’t prevent every assassination attempt. Eventually, by the law of averages, one would succeed.
The problem was bigger than two gods could handle. And Divine Affairs might be able to find Gorgoz one day and put an end to his reign of terror. But that day was a long way off.
“Too bad we can’t question those two moronic assassins,” said Lucky.
“They wouldn’t know anything,” said Quick.