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Astrid used to think that home was wherever her sister was, but as she lingered before the front door, she finally understood that, somewhere in space, they were still together. They were still skipping stones across a duck pond at nine, devouring mint ice creams in Hyde Park, lying on the common looking for constellations. In the same way, Ara was forever dancing in the courtyard at the space centre, catching raindrops in her fingertips and saying, ‘What would you do, Astrid, with this day, if you could do anything at all?’

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Every time that I ask him to listen to a chapter that I’m working on and he sighs or plays video-games instead of reading proof pages, I mentally cross his name off this list. But I owe so much to my husband, Benedict Douglas-Scott, my sixth-form sweetheart. He’s an extraordinary man; kind-hearted, courageous and genuinely good. He inspires me every day and whilst this book could probably have been written without him, I would not be the woman I am without him.

I am indebted to everyone at Greene & Heaton, my agent and literary godmother, Judith Murray, and Eleanor Teasdale.

Sincere thanks goes to my editor, Anne Perry, at Simon & Schuster, Joe Monti at SAGA press and Fraser Crichton. After two years of your patient support, I feel as if my book turned up, like a prom date, at my door, shoes polished, hair brushed, ready to go to the ball.

To both of my mothers Dr Sheila Ochugboju and Philomena Agunbiade. All of my siblings, Ellakeche, Ruth and Che, whom I held hostage for a decade and forced to listen to every version of my story. And Pavalina Toukalkova for looking after all of us for years.

To my best women, and sister-friends: Natasha Dujkic and Dr Stella Collinson, who are good and loving and clever and strong; and to Ella Sparks whose integrity and all-round Junoness has inspired me since I was 16. And to Nanci Gulliver, my Anam Cara and creative soulmate.

I am very grateful to Sionaidh, Alexander and Venetia Douglas-Scott, and to Anne Alfred and Michael Douglas-Scott. My friends Alice Lui and Jack Bowyer, Madhav Bakshi and Dr Thomas Eliot for his help with copy-edits. To Lauren Price-Evans for being such a lovely role-model and to Christopher King who has been the kindest and most supportive manager.

My father Emmanuel Ochugboju was the first person who told me that I could be a writer and KT Forster was the mentor who ushered me along that journey.

Thank you to all the women who have supported and encouraged me; my aunties Priscilla St. Leger, Dr Esther Horner, Joy Abang and Claire Asu-Adinye. And to my international aunts Dr Musonda Mumba, Dr Ebere Okereke and Ifeoma Dike. Special regards to Auntie Yvonne Adhiambo Owour, author of Dust, an inspirational mentor.

It has been my dream to write a book since I was a child. Four months before my agent sold this novel to Simon & Schuster, I knelt down, unemployed and discouraged, at the American Poet’s Corner in the Cathedral of St John the Divine, New York. I had trekked across Manhattan alone, gotten lost in Harlem for hours, just to find it. And when I finally did, I unlatched my backpack, collapsed on the cold stone and asked God to believe me when I told him that I longed to be a writer. Three weeks later, after returning to London, I got an agent. For this book and for everything before and after, I will always thank God ‘for he has crowned me with love and tender mercies and with all good things he satisfies me.’

About the Author

TEMI OH lives and works in London.

This is her first novel.

Copyright

First published in Great Britain by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd, 2019

A CBS COMPANY

Copyright © Temitoyen Ochugboju, 2019

This book is copyright under the Berne Convention.

No reproduction without permission.

® and © 1997 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

The right of Temitoyen Ochugboju to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

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A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Hardback ISBN: 978 1 4711 7124 6

Trade Paperback ISBN: 978 1 4711 7125 3

eBook ISBN: 978 1 4711 7126 0

Audio ISBN: 978 1 4711 8076 7

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

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